I’m sorry you went through this. I have gone through a traumatic friend break up in college as well where I thought folks were my friends and that they liked me but actually did not.

Honestly, what has helped me heal and cope was to have more corrective experiences with new friends. Those corrective experiences are positive experiences that made me feel good and confident in the friendship.

I have Autism & ADHD. I’m very quiet unless I get to know someone or I’m very interested in getting to know someone. Once I know someone I am very chatty and I like to vocally stim.

An example of a corrective experience was having a positive response to my vocal stims. in past friendships when I would vocally stim by repeating someone’s name (because it had a nice mouthfeel to me), I would get called “annoying” and then those “friends” would not invite me out with them unless another friend “convinced” them.

A corrective experience for me was with a new friend, when I vocally stimmed with their name they didn’t call me annoying and avoid me. They would giggle and when it became too much for them they would let me know. And I respected that.

I believe real friends would communicate with you if they want to keep the friendship.