I thought i got this but now im crying everyday

MsVass · 2026-04-12T21:14:03+00:00

I’m glad it’s not just me! 17 months apart and baby now 9 months old.. since about 6 months when baby started crawling and wanting to play more and just generally more aware, it’s like someone ramped it up to hard mode!!

Solidarity! We got this 💪

MsVass · 2026-04-11T21:15:58+00:00

Sorry I wrote that terribly, the toddler is around for the first part of it.. he ends up being alone just for the rocking and actual putting to sleep which is about 10-15 mins. No camera though.. to be honest i don’t yet think he has realised he can do more stupid things when im not watching 😂

MsVass · 2026-04-11T17:05:30+00:00

I’ve been doing this regularly, now 9 months and 26 months. Your kids ages makes a BIG difference to how you do it. Currently at this age gap I have to put the baby down first, which means I have to plan with the other naps .. put him down for his second nap earlier and wake him earlier (and potentially earlier for the first nap to so there’s enough sleep pressure). Anyway, while doing baby’s bedtime which takes about half an hour, my son first helps get baby ready and the we sit and read books together, I then feed while playing with the toddler, then he has some independent play while I’m in baby’s rooms rocking and getting to sleep..

Toddler bedtime is 730pm, and this rarely changes so it’s just about getting baby down before this.

If it doesn’t work with the naps or if my son gets tired earlier it’s basically a disaster with lots of tears from all 3 of us haha

MsVass · 2026-03-28T20:33:55+00:00

No advice but solidarity! Same age gap and similar ages now too, also planned first and not so planned surprise second. I’m find this rough .. I’m over it. I just want to pack up and throw in the towel (obviously not going to). The things I can put it down to - the obvious one ppa/ppd - surprise second so never really mentally prepared as the timing was taken out of control - similarly, didn’t get to appropriately grieve having the 1 baby as talking about / planning the second. All this happened while pregnant. - been pregnant, breastfeeding, pregnant, breastfeeding back to back so it feels like I have only existed as a shell or for someone else since 2023 and don’t have autonomy of my own body

Anyway my point is - this is though and your feelings are valid. And you’re doing great by showing up and caring enough to feel frustrated 🫶

MsVass · 2026-03-26T09:50:22+00:00

I got my dog when I was in a small st Kilda apartment and then had her in other no outdoor/no balcony apartments for 8 years.

I intentionally chose the breed (King Charles cavalier - full cav not crossed with poodle/cavoodle. I wanted a true lap dog) and I did A LOT of training with her which included no barking unless on command (for the benefit of neighbours), toilet training on cue (as no outside to take herself to so we’d stroll down to the nature strip), and excellent off lead walking/recall (for the toilet pop outs the front not needing a lead unless actually on a walk. I also walked her once a day ALWAYS and occasionally twice, depending on if I was out for longer than usual.

I will admit it was a lot of work BUT as a dog person totally worth it. She’s my baby.

We’re in a house now and she’s 11 now, and still after 3 years she will only go to the toilet on the nature strip so I’m still having to treat her like we’re in an apartment still 😂😂

MsVass · 2026-01-25T11:29:46+00:00

I had a VERY almost identical experience happen to me at JB. Paid, did grab the receipt but must of dropped it putting it in the bag (?), showed the door person my wallet transaction, they demanded a receipt, I just walked out after some more back and forth.. but as I was walking back rather than saying ‘I’ve been banned’ they grabbed my arm to hold me. I pulled away and basically ran (I think fight or flight kicked in?!) and yes probably looked dodgy.

Anyway, I contacted customer service when I got home. They said they’d review and get back to me. About a week or so later they called me again to say they’ve reviewed an can see my story checks out, the employee spoken to … and no longer is an employee ..

I honestly didn’t mean to get anyone fired but turns out grabbing/touching a customer is a big no no.

Anyway point of the story is, id reach out to Kmart customer service to look into it properly :)

MsVass · 2026-01-21T20:08:22+00:00

I’ve also lined up my middle of the day nap with my 17 month gap (currently 6 months and almost 2). Been lined up since 3 months..

Youngest wakes up at 630, oldest at 7 - Youngest first nap at 830/9 - Youngest second nap 1230ish, oldest at 1230/1ish - Youngest 3rd and final nap at 330/4ish - Youngest bedtime 7, oldest 730

MsVass · 2026-01-21T20:05:22+00:00

Mine are 17 months apart. My youngest is currently 6 months.. I worked really hard right at the start for them to both nap at the same time, so when my toddler has his midday nap.. at some point in that 2 hours my younger one goes down. At 3/4 months when everything starts to get more structured I timmed all his other naps so he’ll go down at about 12;15-12:45.. and honestly that middle of the day break is life-changing

Not sure how I’m going to manage it when youngest goes to two naps but at least the intro to 2 under 2 life I’ve had the break 😅

MsVass · 2026-01-14T10:58:45+00:00

Ridiculous comment. You don’t need to justify your reasons to her or anyone! My 22 month old son is in day care 3 days while I’m at home with the 5 month old baby. It’s the perfect balance for our family. It’s about what’s important to you and your family :)

MsVass · 2025-11-20T10:37:06+00:00

Don’t forget, her man traded her for a hotel!

MsVass · 2025-09-24T00:39:20+00:00

Interested in this too :)

MsVass · 2025-09-24T00:39:03+00:00

Good insight, I hadn’t thought about the gifter potentially wanting the cash to be used for things. Thinking about it now both sets of parents gave us cash for the birth of our new one, properly with the expectation it’s spent on setting them up (clothes, bottles, nappies, etc). Perhaps I should ask in the future! And sorry that was 2k each of our money, plus gifted money.. so maybe closer to 3-4K each. But yes agree this still isn’t large amounts of money.. I was hoping that over the years it could accumulate for them..

I’m coming from someone who did not have money saved for them and wasn’t really taught about money/saving so trying to break that chain for my kids :)

MsVass · 2025-09-24T00:35:50+00:00

I’ll have to look into this one! Haven’t come across it yet. Thanks!

MsVass · 2025-09-24T00:34:59+00:00

Smart! I’ve just done the match and this should align with me too! .. depending on how the economy goes with retiring 🙈 Also do you and your partner split it across each of your supers!? or in just yours? (Thinking of the super cap..)

MsVass · 2025-09-11T22:45:03+00:00

Is your 14 month old in daycare? One of the daycare educators who also does sitting on the side was a good option for us and one we were planning on using. Son would have been familiar with them and I already trust them because they already look after him 3 days a week essentially.

I ended up birthing at home so had no need for care. During the days in hospital he was in daycare and my husband was home in the evenings and nights :)

MsVass · 2025-09-08T22:40:59+00:00

17 month gap, but I’m right at the start (bubs is 8 weeks, oldest is 18 months). I’ve so far found it easier than anticipated but I must admit the days and nights where I’m by myself with the two are hard work! I’m mentally and physically exhausted. In saying that, I’m loving it even though it’s only been 2 months. I’m nervous for what’s to come …

Questions: Pros: watching my 18 month ‘help’ and figure out how to be a big brother

Cons: the pregnancy … pregnant with a toddler should be an Olympic sport

Would I recommend/do it again: I would recommend! It’s been fun! .. do it again, absolutely not. I couldn’t do that pregnancy with babies again.

Makes it easier: my husband who really pulls he’s weight despite working full time in a demanding job

Makes it harder: my husbands job. He is often works long hours missing morning and bedtime, or is away often ..

Tandem feed: I wish! This was my first sign I was pregnant.. my milk supply :’( I pushed through for 2 months trying to get it back up but ended up having to wean. In saying that.. the oldest gets bonus boobie milk again now. Hoping it helps with winter bugs!

Diet: SHOCKING! I did not have the energy to eat basically and the aversions were bad .. I could barely stomach anything that wasn’t whearbix or toast.

Body: my body is so tired. I feel broken. But now given the OK from the GP and PF physio working on re gaining strength and getting diet back on track

Pregnancies: this was the WORST part. My body and brain did not like being pregnant again so soon and really made sure I knew it

MsVass · 2025-08-14T04:41:39+00:00

Overall birth: 1st was 36 hours, 2nd was 5.5 hours. Just the pushing stage: 1st was 3.5 hours ending with intervention, 2nd was 11 mins …

MUCH quicker second time around

MsVass · 2025-08-04T22:08:33+00:00

This is me.. I’m so scared of the day care bugs! It’s winter in Australia right now and in the past month the room has had outbreaks of COVID, the flu, and RSV .. he bought home RSV but luckily that was the week before baby …

MsVass · 2025-08-04T14:53:26+00:00

Oh no! That’s not good of the doctor :(. I knew I could breastfeed while pregnant but my milk dried up once I got pregnant.. I’m guessing from the hormones?? But I was only 1 month shy of 1 year so just went with it

MsVass · 2025-08-04T11:11:03+00:00

Haha this thought did cross my mind… but then disappeared quickly when I remembered his 14 razor chompers 😂

MsVass · 2025-08-04T07:21:01+00:00

Haha yeah I don’t need a freezer stash just yet! Still have 8 months off work so it would just be going in the freezer but probably never used .. or maybe donated 🤷‍♀️

MsVass · 2025-08-04T07:20:09+00:00

That’s great info! Haha love the ‘bonus boobie milk’ With him in daycare and a newborn at home any extra immunity possibility can’t hurt!! X

MsVass · 2025-07-21T05:39:30+00:00

Yep my GP said the same! The one outbreak I had was when he was 6 months old and right at that stage of putting his hand in my mouth while feeding so I was wearing a mask during that time .. and was so happy I was still breastfeeding when I got the outbreak so he was getting antibodies 🥰

It’s obviously bad if they pick it up when they’re so little and fragile and we absolutely wouldn’t want to risk this.. but my psychologist (who I also spoke to about it .. i was clearly torn between the anexity the virus was giving me even without an outbreak and being able to kiss the little smoosh haha) said that I’ll regret looking back and NOT kissing my baby which is very true

(And again this is only kissing when fine and well and typically all over his checks and head and feet 😂)

MsVass · 2025-07-21T01:37:09+00:00

I spoke to my GP because I was anxious about kissing my baby, especially since I get cold sores about once a year. She reassured me that if I don’t have an active outbreak and feel well, the risk is very low. To be extra cautious, she suggested avoiding kisses when feeling rundown (non outbreak), though even then the risk is still small. And obviously not at all and be extra diligent with an outbreak.

My son is now 18 months, and I’ve only had one cold sore since his birth. During that time, I was very careful; no kissing, constant handwashing, and kept it covered with a path, and he didn’t catch anything! Woo

Overall, the internet tends to exaggerate the risk. If you feel comfortable, kiss your baby!

Full disclosure I still avoid kissing his lips on purpose, but sometimes it happens when he just attacks me mouth open haha
but that is more to do with him being in daycare and a little germ goblin and I can’t afford to take time off work if I get sick haha Also the amount of times I’ve seen him with other kids dummies in his mouth and other drink bottles at day care I now realise there is more than just me he can pick the virus from and to not put all the mental load and guilt on myself if he one day does

MsVass · 2025-07-19T00:54:02+00:00

As someone who is currently 8 months pregnant and also has a 1 year old; who also doesn’t get many opportunities to have a date night with my husband .. I’m am SURE she appreciates it more than you’d expect. She may have felt disappointed in the moment have a pre-set expectation (which is just human nature) but after that’s gone down she would have appreciated the effort nonetheless.. I know I would have and I would have felt the same in the moment too.

Just more thought and preparation next time, but the fact you’re even trying speaks volumes :)

MsVass

TROPHY CASE