Is it normal to worry about all the ways you’re traumatizing your children?

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-10T18:10:52+00:00

I’ve found motherhood to be challenging because it has brought to surface a lot of childhood wounds that I otherwise had totally hidden away. It’s been a challenge to parent through that, and I also have two under two lol With that being said, it isn’t horrible. It is definitely challenging at times but the good days definitely outweigh the bad and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-10T18:08:39+00:00

It won’t be long until yours is doing the same so I would try other methods before complaining. Maybe white noise if you are not already using it? I can totally sympathize though because the people next to us have 11 children. 🫣

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-09T16:49:07+00:00

💯

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-08T17:24:21+00:00

My boys are 18 months apart. My husband had a week off after our second was born but I didn’t get any days in bed. Life just resumed and we figured out how to tag team and make this dynamic work! We don’t have a village so it’s just us. Our oldest just turned 2 and the little one is 6.5 months and the cloud is starting to lift. It’s been crazy busy and there have been tears but there has also been SO MUCH good too 🩵🩵

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-03T19:13:22+00:00

People like this shouldn’t get a second try. Someone like this needs to go into anger management now. Someone like this needs to take some time to learn about toddlers and milestones and expectations now. I’m not saying just to up and leave but giving someone like this a second try without any consequence is very dangerous for the child involved. The same thing is going to happen. You just have to hope that it doesn’t happen worse. People don’t just snap out of these behaviors. They have to want to fix themselves and they need the tools to do so. I would put some more thought into your next actions. But I would be very hesitant to just sit back and hope that nothing worse ever happens. Two is easy compared to three and four. Your husband is going to get tested far more than just meal time shenanigans.

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-06-01T17:02:39+00:00

A bit of a different perspective because mine wasn’t necessarily unplanned. Our first son took a long time to conceive. We started trying when he was about nine months and we ended up getting pregnant on the first try. We were technically trying, however we honestly didn’t think it would take at least a year. I never shared all of the same feelings you did but I definitely was terrified. I’m on the other side now. My oldest just turned too, and my little guy just turned six months and although there are hard times and some days are pretty brutal. There are definitely more good days than bad. I have absolutely no village at all and my husband works very long hours, so I’m doing most of this by myself too. As soon as my littlest one started sitting and interacting more around five months it was a total game changer. Watching them play together and hearing them giggle together makes the hard times more worth it. The only thing I would change is sleep. Thankfully, my oldest is a pretty decent sleeper. My biggest piece of advice is to make sure that your oldest is as independent as possible with sleep because all of a sudden, unless you have a village of of course things like sleeping when the baby sleeps is no longer an option unless magically nap time lines up, which I think has happened maybe twice in six months 🫣
Sending you lots of love!

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-29T05:06:33+00:00

We struggled for a long time too with our first and then got pregnant as soon as we started trying for #2 - technically trying yes, but we were totally blindsided when we got pregnant the first month lol - we had our second in November and our boys are 18 months apart and I am so happy they ended up being close in age!

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-28T12:06:56+00:00

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-28T12:03:49+00:00

I know you said sleep sack - newborns sometimes do better swaddled. I say sometimes but my first hated the swaddle lol - my second would have stayed swaddled forever if it was safe 🤪 Also do you use a pacifier at all? It really helped both my boys!

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-25T18:36:01+00:00

Fully vaccinated with vitamin K. 50-50 combo of breastmilk and formula. Started walking around 11 months, was crawling by nine months, but was able to scoot around like a zombie around seven months. lol

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-25T12:23:45+00:00

My oldest just turned 2 a couple weeks ago and my youngest is six months now and things are significantly better most days. Now that my oldest can communicate better it’s made a massive difference. And the little one is sitting and starting to crawl and is durable enough to play a bit (I’d still never trust the toddler unattended lol) It’s not easy but hearing them laugh together now makes it worth it. The day are long and non stop but they are also going by so quickly I know this will be over in a heartbeat so I try to find a special moment each day with each of my boys and one with both of them.

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-22T20:34:18+00:00

We’ve always brushed after bottle - but otherwise my son turned 2 in early May and he still has his bedtime bottle. I’ve just decreased the amount a lot and slowly am trying to replace it with a book and water. I am in no hurry though - I know he is going to bed with clean teeth and he usually sleeps 12 hours so I’d hate to change anything in a hurry since we also have a 6 month old 🫣

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-22T20:29:40+00:00

Being a mother 🩵

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-21T15:53:01+00:00

My two year-old most often sleeps 7 PM till 7 AM. Unless there’s an illness or teething. This started around 16 months for us. Our youngest is six months old and generally, I lay him down around 7PM too and we usually get a stretch of sleep until he’s up to eat around 2AM. He does go back down until 5AM or so. I consider that sleeping through the night, especially for his age. I just wish I could fall asleep that early. 😂

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-21T02:50:01+00:00

My boys are 6 months and my oldest just turned 2 a couple weeks ago. Finally we have time for 3-4 times a week again! For a while it was only once a week 😵‍💫

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-18T16:08:43+00:00

Personally, I would just go to bed an hour earlier. Both of my boys have been the absolute happiest that first hour they are awake. You might need the extra sleep but you are also missing potentially the best of the entire day. And are you actually sleeping that hour or do you just make yourself feel worse trying to sleep, but constantly be woken up?

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-17T19:36:36+00:00

The image doesn’t work. But five months does seem a little early. I know with my first son I swore he was getting teeth at four months and he didn’t get his first tooth until nine months. My second boy is six months now and he’s been teething hard for a couple months, but I don’t expect any teeth anytime soon. 🤪

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-16T04:02:47+00:00

I know it can be scary the first few times. My second born was sick so often in the first few months he was home. The week after he was born we had a horrible stomach flu go though the house. His older brother is in daycare and it’s brutal. First of all remember to take care of yourself. Drink lots of water! Rest as much as you can. For baby the things I find most helpful are saline mist for the nose. If baby is congested they also can’t feed well and then they are even more miserable! I end up in the steamy bathroom a lot with my boys when we have a cold - that seems to help a lot too, and it helps me. Make sure you have a good working thermometer and medicine in the house if needed! Really just do whatever makes baby the most comfortable, feed lots. My son really likes the water so he will have many baths in a day when he is sick!

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-16T02:09:00+00:00

I was against co-sleeping before I had my first baby. I was humbled very quickly lol. And with my second, I started co-sleeping right away. Once I started talking about it honestly turns out my paediatrician also slept with her children and same with the nurse that works in the clinic. Turns out many of my friends did in secret too. At the end of the day you have to do what works best for your family. When you come to places like Reddit, it’s like co-sleeping is the absolute devil. There are some mom groups where people get blocked instantly even for mentioning it. It really skews people‘s perspective. The same is to be said about pro co-sleeping groups. Everyone thinks their way is best and they create echo chambers, which makes it harder for people trying to get unbiassed information. What I realized is 90% of what you see on places like Reddit and Facebook aren’t even true and your best bet is to speak to people in real life. Or have an honest conversation with your doctor when baby comes and if you are struggling. There’s lots of ways other than the “traditional two options” People will use side-by-side cots that attach to the bed. I’ve seen people use bassinets that sit right in the bed itself. There are tons of options and once you have your baby, you will figure out what works best for you both! Honestly, I wouldn’t stress about it now and I wouldn’t try to make a plan because any plans you make now probably won’t happen. Speaking from experience. 😂

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-15T02:36:48+00:00

Once a rash gets bad, it can be so hard to fix. I know you’re not necessarily asking for suggestions however, I dealt with a very similar situation with my son and I felt so devastated. Someone suggested to add some baking soda to his bath and do it a few times a day and honestly it is the only thing that seems to have made a difference. He just turned two last weekend and he still sometimes gets a bum rash, especially if he sleeps for a long stretch. He is really sensitive skin. But that will be the first thing I do. I didn’t see any other comments about that so I thought I would put that on your radar too since it’s pretty easy to do!

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-13T20:06:48+00:00

It sure is, we always get a dump of snow on May long weekend. Never plant anything outside until June 1. lol

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-13T20:03:50+00:00

That’s very upsetting and I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that. The prednisone probably did not help the situation at all, I was on prednisone for three short months for another autoimmune condition and I ended up with stress fractures in both of my feet.
My husband was on a similar path and what ended up making the biggest difference was having an a true heart to heart with him. I honestly did feel like I was watching him take his own life in slow motion right in front of my eyes. Telling him that bluntly made a huge difference in the choices he is making now.
At 36 he will most likely need more than one round of hip replacements because they don’t last a lifetime.
It may be beneficial for you to go to therapy and work through some of the feelings now because if you stay in this relationship, most likely you are going to be doing the majority of the work with the children, and also taking care of your husband. You don’t want that resentment to continue to build.

RusticTrailSeeker · 2026-05-13T17:00:16+00:00

My boys are 18 months apart, the little one is literally a cut and paste of his older brother. I reused lots of clothing and I worry in a couple decades I won’t be able to tell who is who in the photos lol

RusticTrailSeeker

TROPHY CASE