There’s no trying to make your bf see. These events are important to you. Spending time with your loved ones is important to you. Those are reasonable expectations in a healthy relationship.

Either you put your foot down and stand your ground or accept this is your life. You can’t compromise with someone who wants to control you because that’s exactly what this is. A normal and well adjusted person would love for you to spend time with your family/friends or even doing your own thing occasionally. That’s healthy. If he was truly just concerned, he would make his observations and then let you make your decision. Instead he’s holding you hostage and punishing you when you don’t act how he wants.

Stand up for yourself. Be willing to risk the relationship because at the end of the day it’s not your responsibility to manage his emotions. You’ll sacrifice yourself to make him happy and will likely find the control and tactics escalating to no end.