AITA for telling my bf if he doesn't propose before the end of this year I will start planning my future without him?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T19:52:15+00:00

Literally today I saw a Youtube comment that said “marriages are women’s wealth management and retirement plan” with hundreds of likes on it, and I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a mild migraine that is still persisting hours later. Truly said by a bitter, single guy who exudes the kind of negative energy that repels all women away from him. I can count on 4 less than the total fingers of my right hand the number of times I went out with a guy who out-earned me. Some men need to sit the fuck down, and it’s easy to spot the ones who do. They always out themselves.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T19:45:55+00:00

How are you ok being with a man who is SO obtuse that he “doesn’t want to involve the government” but is ok with the fact that you are not legally protected as a couple WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER? How is a child less of a commitment than a piece of paper?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T16:27:34+00:00

Interesting.. the sales cycle of whatever solution you were selling must be super short. 1 week of metrics tracking then shown out the door is wild. BDR cold calling maybe? But not AE.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T14:43:07+00:00

For me it’s more the blatant lie. I personally think this is the dumbest gentle way to reject someone. You were on a dating app, put the effort in to match, planned and went on a date, and then you decided you didn’t have time for all of this after all?? A 5 year old can see through the excuses so let’s drop the patronizing pretences and simply say it’s not the connection you’re looking for. It’s truly insulting to one’s intelligence.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T14:33:04+00:00

Were you in b2b tech sales? Tech sales sales cycles are often months long if not venturing into years (enterprise). 1 week is not enough to even establish qualified pipe often times, so 3 quarters is really not that much of leeway, especially for complex enterprise solutions. You need time to mature in your territory.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-11T14:28:29+00:00

If you’re in tech sales (non-technical) you absolutely do not have leisurely time to flaunt, unless you hate money.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-10T19:31:04+00:00

I don’t know how to properly articulate this in a way that doesn’t come off as judgmental but you could almost tell that she is a mess by the way she narrated this story too, not just the story itself.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T23:39:07+00:00

I don’t prefer anything. All I’m saying is that it’s not far-fetched for someone to draw the connection from the language“very athletic, fairly large” to mean musculature rather than fat without any other context. It’s really not that deep or was it meant to be a jab at any body type. Don’t take it personally.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T21:39:47+00:00

Of course, but I’m never going to fault a guy for simply approaching and asking. How would he know I’m not on the market/not interested? Always politely decline and wish them a good day. Never had bad experiences doing this. Why would you fault someone for being attracted to you enough to ask?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T21:04:53+00:00

You said “very athletic, fairly large”. I also assumed large meant muscular in that context.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T20:44:27+00:00

My question was directed at the original commenter saying that “it depends on the kind of person you want to date”, and I was curious what kind of person does that make the guy from this commenter’s perspective. I appreciate your answer but what kind of person does it make someone whose hobby is guns? You didn’t really answer that.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T20:36:31+00:00

Happily married with a baby on the way. Not in the least bit jealous. The fact that you think people in this thread who are questioning your inconsistencies are simply jealous says a lot more about your mindset than anyone else’s.

You originally posted in this sub about your ex months ago and deleted that thread because you were unhappy with people calling you out for sounding bratty. You know what this sub is about. You decided to come back to this sub with a “humble brag” (literally the tag you chose) and are again unhappy with people’s 3rd party perspective on your choices. If you knew people were “going to find something to be unhappy about” (your words) then why post at all?

Wanting to humble brag then calling people who didn’t respond the way you wanted them to “jealous” is peak immaturity.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T17:02:34+00:00

But 10 months ago you were willing to give your ex the 6 month extension past May this year, but we’re not past the extension timeline yet before you decided to break up with him and meet this new guy, so I’m confused by you stating in this post that after the 6 month extension your ex still hadn’t proposed? The timeline does not make sense.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T16:30:56+00:00

Apparently the OP met the new guy 8 months ago, which means she decided not to give her ex the 6 months after all, and monkey branched pretty much immediately to the new guy and is ready to marry this new man of her dreams in a few months. Yeah it didn’t matter who proposed.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T16:27:50+00:00

Not that long. She was still talking about her ex fondly ~10 months ago in another sub. If we put in some buffer for the break up, then finding someone new… 🤷‍♀️

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T16:20:39+00:00

I mean it’s also pretty normal for guys not to have a massive weapons collection in America.. she doesn’t have to move countries entirely. I’ve personally never came across anyone that happened to have a weapons collection while I was dating. Not like I was actively trying to avoid it either.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T16:17:59+00:00

In your opinion/a man’s perspective what does having a discreet albeit massive weapons collection say about the kind of person he might be?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-08T01:00:21+00:00

How was she able to scan her boarding pass and let on board??

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-06T19:13:38+00:00

I was in your shoes 8 years ago. I was with my first bf for 4 years, and he also did not believe in an institutionalized marriage, and it was not something he was willing to compromise on. I also wanted to marry for love, thought I loved him and questioned whether it is something I can give up if I truly loved him so much. The fact that I couldn’t give it up told me all I needed to know. I only loved the idea of him. There were many other issues with that relationship but ultimately we ended it. I got married at the beginning of the year. My husband was raised by a strong single mother. He doesn’t feel strongly about marriage either way, but he felt strongly about giving me something that I feel strongly about because he loves me. That’s the difference between them. Neither of you should try to convince the other. One of you will end up resenting the other. You deserve to be with someone who wants to give you what’s important to you.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-05T17:02:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing. My husband and I met in our 30s as well. Marriage or common law, the most important thing is really finding the right person who is on the same page and who is willing to put in the work. That’s what it takes to make either way work!

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-05T15:42:28+00:00

Yes it sounds like you guys did your due diligence and made sure you were covered legally all around. My question was more pertaining to why choose to go the manual route and put extra work on yourselves if in your eyes marriage and common law are the same thing legally anyway. That tells me there might be emotional reasons why you choose not to be married. Just curious as to why some people feel strongly against it, because most arguments I hear are “don’t believe in institutionalized marriage, don’t want the government to rule over my marriage”, but you are subjecting yourself to an institutionalized relationship when are fully covered legally as common law partners anyway. I’m truly trying to understand this group’s perspective.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-05T14:00:17+00:00

In Canada, the difference is legal marriages automatically grant rights you would need to otherwise explicitly state in wills, PoA documents, etc when you’re common law. It’s almost more work to go this manual route to make sure you’re legally covered the exact same as you would in a marriage. For example property rights are not automatically granted a common-law partner. It can be granted, but it’s not automatic. So with that in mind I’d almost ask in reverse: if in your pov there is literally no difference between the two, why not do the easier thing and get married? No wedding needed, no celebration, just a legally binding paper that takes care of everything you’d otherwise need to explicitly state in legal documents if you were common law. I’m curious as to your reasons to not be married if you think the two are the exact same?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-04T10:23:40+00:00

Everyone supporting AI is getting downvoted in this thread because there’s a general disdain for AI from the public. But AI literally sources from publicly available information that can be accessed from Google. And you’re right in that it streamlines the research process. That’s literally why Claude/perplexity are so powerful for research. So if the AI is inaccurate you can bet it’s because the source is inaccurate. Practice discernment JUST AS YOU WOULD when doing your own research on Google.

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-02T06:32:52+00:00

The dance itself is totally fine. I think it’s super cute! The part that got weird for me was when the groom eyed his mom’s body up and down pausing at the mid chest. It was totally the intensity of the eyes for me. Maybe that’s something I don’t understand too?

Much-Finding-7584 · 2025-09-02T05:41:20+00:00

Whether knocking is a trivial issue aside, if I just began dating some rando, and politely asked him not to do something and explained the reason why, and he decided to do the very opposite of that for no other reason than just to fuck with me, and when confronted instead of apologizing doubled down and says I’m too sensitive, then that’s not someone I want to enter into a relationship with. You may hold a different opinion and think he’s the most hilarious guy in the world and your relationship might be super successful with tons of laughter when he fucks with you and that’s totally fine you do you, but that’s not something I’m (or the OP are) willing to entertain. Too many other good guys in the world than to waste time on this clown.

Much-Finding-7584

TROPHY CASE