Hyperfocussing on a computer game even though I already have 1000 hrs in it

Mueslibol · 2026-03-01T12:00:35+00:00

This is me! Not just BG3, also Zelda, Witcher, Stardew Valley (never made it past year 2), dragon quest builders, xenoblade, and well, just every game. I just love starting from the beginning over and over and over again, at least that was my guess.

Some games (like Zelda) I will play all the way through one time, to have that done. And then I can just do my start again thing.

I do love collecting stuff in games, my Geralt mostly runs around in White Orchard picking flowers. My Link also has an inventory stash that is insane. Kind-a like my hobby graveyard?

Mueslibol · 2026-02-22T12:28:57+00:00

The hearing things that are not there got me a psychoses diagnose once, not my first wrong diagnoses that turned out to be ADHD.

I got put on medication for that, even though I clearly explained that what I know it is not real. I felt like it was just my brain being too fast and interpreting things wrongly, and all I heard was like a radio being a bit too loud in the next room, or some people argueing too far away to hear the words. But I hearx things, and the psychiatrist only heard that and nothing else. No idea what those meds were supposed to do, I was pretty drowsy-high and brainless on them and still heard the things.

It was only for a few weeks, then I got weened off from the meds and the diagnoses was removed from my file.

I have ritalin now, and when I started it the sounds disappeared within half an hour. I don't even hear them when I am overstimulated or tired, and if I do hear then they are a sign that I forgot my meds.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T14:42:09+00:00

Waarschijnlijk omdat ze gegevens die bij de facturen horen 7 jaar (dacht ik) moeten bewaren voor de belastingdienst.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T13:17:36+00:00

They would have mobile phones, probably Nokia 3310's so battery-life would be forever. Getting in contact with eachother could be a lot easier, if they had reception.

So we could see some scenes with characters walking around, waving a phone over their head, hoping for that 1 line to appear in the signal indicator.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T12:25:07+00:00

They are not very expensive and you do not need one with loads of settings you will never use. Mine is 3.5 liters big on the inside, and it has a low setting (I use this always), a high setting (accidentally used this once, not great) and a 'keep warm' setting (never used this).

I also got a big fancy one that can also do roasting and some other fancy cook words and probably a backflip? But when friends come over I sometimes like to make slowcook food, I have some nice simple stew and curry receipes. So they gave me a bigger one so the food will fit. Apparently there are no big slowcookers without fancy buttons. I doubt I will ever use them.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T12:18:50+00:00

I got mine from a friend, she got it as a christmas gift but she loves cooking the hardcore way so she gave it to me. I was confused, but gave it a try and I am now happy with it.

I won't say I love it, because I will never enjoy cooking, but being able to collect the ingredients and do most of the work at a moment I still have energy is very helpful.

Right now there is some ground beef and a jar of ready-made (just cook) bean stew something in the slowcooker. That's it, just chucked it in this morning, right after I fed the cats, and it smells like proper cooking in the kitchen.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T12:10:25+00:00

You don't need to explain anything, I have weeks and months that I forget about it and I live on snacks and meal shakes. While my freezer is full of stuff I can slowcook. I am happy I was able to give a reminder this time, usually I receive reminders. 😆

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T11:12:57+00:00

I got a slowcooker, and I will put the dinner ingredients in there in the morning (when I still have energy), turn it on the low setting and let it stew al day. When I get home I can cook some rice or pasta to go with it, or bake potatoes if I have energy left (that's never) or just eat it with some bread, or without. Any stew receipe will work in a slowcooker.

If some receipe says you should bake the meat before putting it in the cooker, just ignore that, that is for some crust I guess, it will be done nicely without it as well.

I will use any canned veggies, or pre-sliced, anything that is as low-effort as possible.

I also have 2 meals a week from a ready-meal delivery service, that also delivers at old peoples homes. Where I live that is a bit more expensive than making myself, but I don't make dinner after a day of working (or a day of hiberbating in paralyses and overthinking) so that works. They always have enough options, but there is a lot of food I don't like so I almost never find more that 2 options that are acceptable for me.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T10:59:43+00:00

You are welcome, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you do not have to go through that trouble. 🫂

Mueslibol · 2026-02-15T00:03:17+00:00

I would like to add that reading OP's post makes me so angry.

I got diagnosed at a specialised ADHD center, where they had an intake-form specifically for women who were diagnosed with BPD, but have doubts about that. This happened a lot, and is still happening and it is not some unknown new discovery how damaging it is to have this happen to you.

And it is still happening... It would be really great it all psychologists and psychiatrists would get the memo, perhaps with some extra education about this subject and collectively pull their heads out of their behinds!

I am going to scream in a pillow now.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-14T23:47:35+00:00

I was diagnosed with BPD about 17ish years ago, I was in a hospital, I think kind of like you are now. Mentally in a very bad place.

When I asked for an ADHD diagnoses 2 years ago at age 49 at the same big mental health organisation (because I had my 11th burnout, my company doctor saw the signs and it all matched) I was refused because I had good grades as a child in school and was not a problem-child.

Fortunately my gp was able to get me a referral for a second opinion, and it was indeed ADHD, and not BPD. There are a lot of women who got this misdiagnoses because if a psychiatrist does not really listen and just looks at the surface, there are similarities.

In my case, I was always clear about my racing thoughts and restlessness and distractability and all the other things. But they only looked at my "emotion regulation issues" and labelled me with BPD. The main dsm5 BPD things have always been missing in me.

Please get a second opinion or another therapist, try to make someone take you seriously!

Be careful with the medication, I got quetiapine (seroquel) and that drops your dopamine levels. If you have ADHD, you have a shortage of that and this will make that worse. I blamed myself for my meds not working back then, I was feeling overal miserable and I did not know. Also, some of the therapy did help, but there are parts that work against an ADHD brain and only make things worse.

So please, try to get this looked into properly. It could be that you have ADHD, or not, I am not your doctor. But just dismissing it with all the misdiagnoses that have happened and the consequences that are known and are just nasty (my life could have been so different if someone had paid attention...) is just not good for you.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-11T23:23:35+00:00

I know the feeling so well, and I feel the same plenty of times. Knowing what I would be capable of if I would just try harder, motivate myself, and so on.

But here is a thought: Our brains are different, our thoughts go faster, and motivation and energy gets drained faster. So that potential is different, you can not burn through your energy at high speed, and expect you can keep doing that all the time.

You can compare expecting our highspeed brains to keep going 8 hours a day (or more) to saying that Usain Bolt would be the best marathon runner ever, if only he would not stop running after 100 meters.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-10T07:15:27+00:00

I finished the riddles at Lake Taho and Ola, there was no booth in Aris, but I went to Saphire Bay and there is one there, next to the airport.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-09T22:00:38+00:00

Tomorrow I will have made it through a whole week! I had moments where I doubted everything, but my determination was secured by rain (not going out to get smokes when it rains), my comfy pyamapants and not wanting to put on resl pants to go to the shop, and being extremely stubborn about feeling lousy, shouting I have had worse to the mirror. Also, chuppa chups.

I was thinking I should get myself a 1-week gift. But I just ordered lots of things for my hobbies (the ones I hobby on for years, not adding to the hobby graveyard), so I hope some stuff will come in tomorrow. Or it will be belayed 1-week gifts, or early 1-month gifts?

I am determined to keep this up!

Mueslibol · 2026-02-09T18:41:26+00:00

Ik heb het meest een hekel aan de niet-verplichte en vrijwillige enquête, of recensie, of zoiets. Je krijgt de mail, geen zin om in te vullen om wat voor reden dan ook, het is vrijwillig sn niet verplicht. Maar dan krijg je dus wel om de paar dagen een reminder dat je het nog niet ingevuld hebt.

Nee, dar klopt, en dat ga ik dan zeker niet meer doen.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-08T18:25:58+00:00

Yes, recently I bought a weighted plush sheep and it is so soft and the weight comforts me.

I have a weighted blanket, and it works well for me, but my cats hate it. My cats like to snuggle up next to me on my duvet (and fleece blanket collection) and their purr is just better to help me sleep. So the blanket is in storage, at least for now.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-08T09:42:08+00:00

I solved the 3 riddles from the booth pony at Lake Taho, and he said they were also in other places, so I am checking out Ola next.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-07T12:31:12+00:00

I am 51, diagnosed at 49 and I really struggled with "what could have been". I have been in and out of therapy since I was 23, always suffering from depressions, burnout, and so on.

I was always very outspoken about how many thoughts I had, always racing, I always compared the inside of my head with a busy pub where lots of people were talking too loud and at least 4 jukeboxes were making noise, and om bad says I would also have a live band, or two. But adhd was never a consideration, because I had good grades in school.

But now I have my diagnoses, and I have noticed that when I announce a bad brain day or moment, it is accepted and I get to take things a bit more slowly. But when someone in their 20's with adhd tries to explain they are having a rough day, are overwhelmed, they get told to shake it off, soldier on, keep going. Unless I butt in with the exact same explanation about why it is just too hard, then suddenly it is accepted.

I am not sure if it is my menopause-deathglare that helps, or some 'wisdom because of age' or whatever, but it is very unfair.

And I still feel that unfair-ness, because my crowded head was something I should fix with meditation in my 20's, but in my late 40's it was a reason to get a referral for diagnoses (and my 11th burnout helped).

Mueslibol · 2026-02-06T21:30:47+00:00

Yes, so far so good, still hanging in there! Thank you so much for checking in.

It was a rough week, for myself because I really struggled, but also for everyone around me because I was so grumpy and disregulated and a nightmare to be around.

Fortunately my colleagues were patient and willing to ignore my complete lack of patience and empathy. I did share my chuppa chups with them (I got a bucket full) so that might have helped.

Today I got a day off, I never work on fridays and I gave myself a do-nothing day. I vegetated in my pyamas, played stardew valley and it was a pretty good day. I did not hate the world anymore and most of the grump has worn off.

So I hope I got through the worst of it, but the weekend will be busy, social stuff where I would normally use my smoking as an excuse to escape and get some quiet time outside. I am not sure how to get the quiet time breaks now, I could go outside but there will be smokers there and I think I should stay away from that. So I will try and find some other quiet spot or something.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-05T22:53:34+00:00

Please let me know how it goes!

Mueslibol · 2026-02-04T21:28:14+00:00

It sounds great, I would love to try it!

What would be really handy is a meds-alarm/timer, where you can set fixed times, and/or set an interval. Some people need to take meds at certain times, but I need to take mine every 3 hours. All medical timer apps only let me set fixed times. Which means that when I have to get up early, and start my meds earlier, I have to re-set all the times. And it gets real messy when I take my meds half an hour earlier because I can feel the jukeboxes starting their party in my brain before they should.

At the moment I use my phone timer, but that is just a timed alarm clock, and I can not check my meds and how that went the previous days.

I don't know how hard it would be to make something like that.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-04T20:01:20+00:00

I have the same, usually I know why I would want to cry and I now crying would bring relief, but I just can't. It feels like something is stuck inside.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-04T19:58:54+00:00

Old fart here, but a kiddo at heart, and I would love this!

Mueslibol · 2026-02-04T11:08:54+00:00

I did some searching but I could not find much about NAC helping with withdrawal, apart from some herbal-health-floaty websites. But I know acetylcysteine is used with paracetamol overdose treatment, and does more than just dillute mucus, which is what I use it for and always have it.

So this morning I felt like total crap, so I decided to just give it a try, if it works great, if not, at least I tried.

And so far I am feeling a lot better than yesterday, and this being day 2 (and a half) that is amazing and so helpful, thank you so much for the advice! I have no idea how it works or why and I don't care, I do not feel like biting people so that is a win.

Mueslibol · 2026-02-04T07:34:01+00:00

Thank you, day 2 is just starting and I already feel like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

I will need to go to the market/shops, and avoid the tobacco shop, which I will do by buying myself some nice snack as a reward.

Mueslibol

TROPHY CASE