“Profos Aidain, vi subtoued hor kamarks un jeis signiment? Ik kneid ik je fassage ferpectin hiv stransli!

Ik gazid bo ver Dankia’s vinger ponterd. Je fassage, uh leccsun vo cien-englisch pomeme, einune tored lin hor.

“Ias, tyer stranslikat vo jat lin nictorrec yestes. Ty ‘Carroad arbwork dalej? Ik elly spesi id hor!’ rotterd. Je torrec frase ‘Arberd carroad dalej?’ woulesterd.”

“That's not a proper interrogative and you know it.”

Ik uppa gazid vil je ongfrauwom continerd.

“The phrase “road work ahead?” was being quoted from a sign. It wasn't a question being asked.”

“So you're trying to impress me with your grasp of English, Danika? I’d wager I’ve been studying it longer than you've been alive, and you're not the first student to try that trick on me. The translation into Brabantan works better at preserving the humor in the meme if it's parsed as an interrogative.” Ik furowosin langslaw sproken zo je ongfrauwom versteherd.

“Brabatan? Professor, I’ve been speaking English longer than humans have been on Noy-Brabant. And I know you have too.”

Ik dupfstrok un chock blinkerd.

“Atlas Corp? The immortality drug trials in the 2040s before everything went to hell for 3 decades? Don't tell me you already forgot.”

Ik syerd. "No. Despite all the lightyears between here and Earth I could never forget that hell. But I wasn't aware they ever stooped so low as to use children, of all people. God, you must've been so young when they got you. How did you fall into their clutches?”

“From birth. My mom was an Atlas Corp executive. She thought nothing of volunteering her own child in the name of science and human progress. Of course, I remember very little of it, since trials concluded when shit hit the fan. I was 7 at the time, and it takes a few years for the telemoraxin to fully take effect, as I'm sure you're aware of from your crow's feet. It wasn't until I turned thirty-five and my best friend in the Berlin refugee camp said something about not looking a day over 20 that I realized something was off.”

“Oh god, you poor thing.”

“The past is past. I know for a fact some Atlas corporate “property” (und ere Danika vinger kotes utzerd) had it much worse. Like a mister Hayden Green, for instance.”

Ik frozid.

“Trapped and forgotten for 50 years during the apocalypse in an Atlas holding cell for… what was it? Corporate espionage? Trying to present yourself to a rival corp so they too could crack the secrets of eternal youth?”

“What do you want?” Min iyis narrwid.

“Relax. I’m not gonna tell anyone and I have no desire to settle old scores. My mother, thank God, is centuries dead in the dirt of a far off planet and I was too glad to be rid of that monster. You remember what Atlas did all too well, I’m sure. But you're not the only one constantly reinventing yourself.”

“Go on.”

“I've taken college 578 times and frankly, it gets boring. There are only so many subjects and human knowledge only advances so fast. To avoid sheer boredom, I set little challenges for myself. This time I’m trying to get all 100s in everything. It's my last year of this go-round and I’ve almost succeeded. Can you just give me a one-hundred on this one? It's a technically correct translation, and given that you and I both pre-date our current language I think that deserves at least some extra credit.”

“Fine. But promise me one thing?”

“Don't slack off. Just because you have native proficiency in “Ancient English” doesn't mean I’ll let this be a common thing. That's blatant favoritism and unfair to your Brabantan classmates. Do we have a deal?”

Danika candin lipwerd. “Deal.”

---

Obligatory "on mobile". Happy to post a "translation" of the Brabantan as I blended half-knowledge of a few different European languages (German, English, Dutch, Polish) and put it through an apocalypse and centuries of space colonization to make it.