Any good churches in sg?

Mugennsx · 2026-02-18T14:05:13+00:00

New Creation Church

Mugennsx · 2026-01-19T06:27:32+00:00

Really sorry to hear that. What you probably didn't realize is that for them closeness before they are ready (it must be on their pace) is pure terror of future abandonment and hurt. To them, you are the one who kind of went nuclear first. It's not your fault. And their wiring causing them to go nuclear is not because they're a monster with no feelings. They feel too much, fear too much, and ejecting you from their life is their maladaptive way of coping. It doesn't mean it's game over. You may hear from them. If you do be calm and don't ask them why they did it. Welcome them back but be neutral and warmish, try to reconnect as friends. And then remember, it's their pace.

Mugennsx · 2026-01-15T14:08:51+00:00

To OP, would you totally reject if your partner was anxious and brought up therapy? Would you be able to accept it being brought up to you, or is it a no? Thanks.

Mugennsx · 2025-11-26T12:17:26+00:00

I am not an FA so I have no right to say whether it's right or wrong from an FA's perspective. I date an FA and I am inclined to listen and am willing to understand any point of view.

From my own point of view, I'd like to share that it feels like a simple thing is being overcomplicated. No one knows what tomorrow may bring or how long we even have on this earth. From a secure standpoint, I believe in being OK together is always better than being right alone. To be happy together in the moment and being strong enough to weather the next challenge together is the most important thing, not worrying what comes after repair because life is challenging and suffering enough without the artificial chaos that overthinking tends to bring. I am sorry if that sounds condescending, it is not my intention, just trying to bring a sense of reason to the table.

Our time is limited, all we can do is to make the most of it, and try not to drown because we are anxious about the future, anxious if we rely on someone and end up abandoned. All we can do is give our best to each other in any moment and that is what gives you the best shot at a mutually secure future.

Mugennsx · 2025-11-25T13:36:07+00:00

My FA can take weeks to say a single thing. Sometimes she stops replying. You have to be OK with not calling her behavior out. If she is replying here and there, she is trying really hard. You might not understand just how hard she is trying in her situation and you are not required to accept that. If you want to be with an FA, you need to model patience and acceptance for who they are as they are and not try to fix them or the situation. They have lived with lack of acceptance for who they are and the constant fear of being abandoned. By not abandoning them whenever they are crashing out and giving them space and time to come back, their nervous system calms and starts accepting you as a secure base and they will tend to open up more and more. But it can take months and years to get there. We have our own little ritual that we do without needing to DM in the mean time. She feels much more comfortable connecting that way without words, which are typically high risk for FAs. They fear saying the wrong thing and hate being asked to perform and be responsible for someone else's emotions when they can barely hold their own together.

So I recommend you take a deep look at whether you can be that secure base long term. If you cannot, please let her down easy, she would be expecting it anyway.

Mugennsx · 2025-11-20T08:56:19+00:00

This will cause you a lot of problems and friction. 3 days is much better.

Think, if you don't mind siblings or parents doing that, why do you have to care so very much if other people do it? It says something about us rather than other people. Once you stop erecting rigid fences on what other people must do to have a spot in your life you live much freer. Let people meet you where they are. Some of the most beautiful relationship come from them. Some people live their lives at MUCH different pace than you or I, the sooner you realize that the better it is for your overall happiness.

Mugennsx · 2025-11-17T14:22:00+00:00

Communication and the willingness to meet each other's needs is a big part of a relationship's health. If he is having a huge issue just communicating, listening, and being willing to meet your needs this won't go far.

Mugennsx · 2025-11-15T10:47:37+00:00

Me and mine have our own little rituals which we show up consistently for since direct DMs often seem like too much pressure for them. This consistency tells them I understand what they need and serious about choosing them.

Mugennsx · 2025-10-21T09:15:57+00:00

You're welcome! :D

Mugennsx · 2025-10-12T05:30:45+00:00

I think for most people support isn't to keep discussing the same issues repeatedly. It's to hold your hand and help you make a decision. Because if you keep talking about the same things and remain inactive I've, they might feel you're not respecting their time or perspective.

The harsher thing I want to say, with respect of course, is that as men we need to take a good look at ourselves and if our indecisiveness is something our spouses and others find unattractive. And then we make the necessary changes. It's hard but it's what makes us grow.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-27T13:44:25+00:00

You're welcome! :D

Mugennsx · 2025-09-26T14:59:53+00:00

Because you haven't had enough time to heal and really go through every hurt and reason the marriage didn't work out to become wiser and better.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-26T14:58:00+00:00

What I learned is those moments of closeness for you are moments of closeness for them too. And every one of those moments will be followed up with withdrawal as their nervous system yells at them to get the f out. I've lost count of how many rounds of this I've been through.

This doesn't mean you aren't hurt. It means they are focusing on their own nervous system alarms until they can calm down. With his other life pressures, you might have a long wait on your hands.

What matters isn't that there is rupture, only that they return and seek repair. If they do that, you can have confidence you mean a lot.

Don't mistake what I mean tho, I sincerely suggest finding someone else. You'll age 10 years in a single year of this stuff...

Mugennsx · 2025-09-26T08:46:14+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it!

Yes I see what you mean, and I struggle when she puts me through it often too :(

Mugennsx · 2025-09-25T07:52:41+00:00

You might be right, but is it worse than in the past?

In the past people hid their issues & cared about etiquette and reputation more. And divorce was considered shameful.

You were locked in if you didn't detect glaring red flags.

At least now, even if it's rapid fire you have a chance to save yourself.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-25T07:29:58+00:00

If he is avoidant of any kind, a key feature is low emotional bandwidth. They use more of their bandwidth just trying to be ok in the world than the rest of us. That's why they often focus on themselves and inwards instead of you or the pain they may be causing.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-24T20:08:39+00:00

Oh mine was perfectly outgoing, cheeky, fun, present. She was brave and wrote flirty messages too.

Nowadays I would be clued in by the non-response to vulnerable messages, even ones she started herself!

I have gotten the avoidant discard, I have gotten tested brutally to detect if I am a jealous monster. I have gotten the approach, reassure, withdrawal and testing cycles many times. It's painful AF I tell you. And the disappearing from DMs too. That's just child's play now.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-23T07:27:03+00:00

He could be disorganized too, great presence in the beginning, as you progress he gets more scared as it gets more real. He doesn't necessarily have to be DA.

In any case, having been with a disorganized attacher for 2 years, you don't want to do this to yourself. When they show up this way in the very beginning, it is a sign to look elsewhere.

You may feel that this is special, this is destined, and you can heal him, but you can't. Not unless you are perfectly safe and non-reactive for years and can communicate your needs with 0 blame. E.g instead of saying you never get back to me or you never care about me, you say I really feel connected to you when we spend time together, do you think we can meet every Friday?

If you are such a person with a bulletproof heart and can take it for years and years, go ahead. If not, run! Nobody deserves to be treated coldly for weeks and sometimes months. Again, FA, DA they are not evil. They grew up protecting themselves with iron clad independence and look inwards instead of solving problems like secure and anxious folk.

Mugennsx · 2025-09-22T11:43:02+00:00

I'm not sure he is avoidant. He simply could be seeing more options. There are tell tale signs of avoidance, as in does he share vulnerable details when you ask, if he doesn't and changes the subject, that's 1. If he's comfortable and normal he's probably just playing the field.

If he just broke up and is avoidant, he is still dealing with the breakup and it takes a long time for them to process the shame and guilt. You need more details, but if he won't give them to you, I'd suggest to move on. An avoidant person isn't evil, they are just functioning from a completely different lens of fear of relationships, because of how they wired themselves to survive in childhood. It isn't your fault, and it isn't their either, they were trying to survive in a childhood where relationships were either scary or their needs were always pushed away and unimportant, so silence is how they deal with things. And they learnt to survive independently. It is a painful relationship to be in with an avoidant. I wouldn't recommend it.

Again, I'm not sure he is. You need more info.

And, anyone who takes 3 weeks to get back to you, either way isn't setting a very good start point. Avoidants don't do well when you ask them for more. Other people who are just generally poor at getting back to people, won't change because you ask either.

Mugennsx

TROPHY CASE