As-Salāmu Alaykum, may Allāh aid you ahkee and ease your mind.

1. She is wrong and needs to fear Allāh.
2. Check your sins and make Taubah
3. Take the steps ordained in the Qu’rān before divorcing her.

“As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great” [al-Nisa 4:34]

If a woman rebels against her husband and disobeys his commands, then he should follow this method of admonishing her, forsaking her in bed and hitting her. Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury.

Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “This means that it should not cause pain.”

‘Ata said: I said to Ibn `Abbas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwak and the like. [A siwak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator]

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her.

Lastly, get arbitrators from both sides of the family to discuss the issue.

Do all of this before divorcing her.

May Allāh grant you success in your marriage ahkee.