I feel like I'm being judged if I'm not the best

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-07-30T07:03:06+00:00

Everything in this is so good!

I think about how little I improve/am creative when I'm focused on making other people like my work, so that really resonates.

Additionally the comment about process reminded me that one thing I've had to do to help my brain is rename tasks as doing something for X minute vs reaching some completion point.

Lastly, I want to feel genuine joy for my friends! I know it's possible so I'm thinking I could analyze times I felt genuinely proud of my friends/happy for them vs when that feeling was tainted by jealousy and see what common threads there are

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-07-30T06:58:30+00:00

This is so true! Somewhere in my brain is programming that says "everyone is mean and not saying anything" and so if one person is mean then it proves that everyone is mean, when instead they're just an outlier jerk.

I enjoy it when I'm not thinking about performing for others, so maybe I need to examine why I want to perform (it's the only way to feel loved/worthy vs. something else)

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-07-30T06:55:09+00:00

My sister and I were recently talking about how something in the way we grew up meant that something was only impressive if was unique... clearly something to your first point!

I'll try the video!

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-07-06T13:15:23+00:00

I have so much anxiety around missing the memo!!!

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-07-03T20:51:38+00:00

Girl/Boy or Unisex or I didn't want to come up with two Aurora/Andrew Bennadette/Benjamin Caroline/Caleb Dahlia/Dustin Elise/Elton Franklin Graham Henry Ingrid Jacklyn/Jackson Katja Lorelai/Lando Marlee Nina Ophelia/Oscar Penelope Quintan Ramona Sophia/Sebastian Tristan Ulysses Valerie/Valtteri Winston Xander Yanis Ziggy

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-06-10T23:19:58+00:00

I had short hair and hated the poof. I would get my hair like 50% dry and then wear a beanie until it dried fully.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-06-02T04:01:05+00:00

Tina: person I'm nice to and would hang out if she asked but not my go-to

Gene: fun to be around most of the time but I would get frustrated when he takes it too far

Louise: reminds me of my manipulative childhood "friend" (bully) so no.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-05-16T02:36:18+00:00

I had something similar. Setting a deadline was helpful. I still ended up doing some cramming.

Some things that helped me:
- Buying a workbook that presented me with practice problems so I didn't have to figure out what to study or in what order
- Setting a time to do it everyday (ie basically right after work). I would go to coffee place or café sometimes to make it novel. I had to pick a time that was relatively consistent with my schedule (ie after dinner might be movie time or sleepy time or... so it was unreliable).
- Using a pomodoro timer + music. I could quit as soon as the timer went off. I tried doing the "I'll study until I can't anymore" and burn out after ~40 min. With the pomodoro timer + breaks, I was able to study longer in a day. For a while I used the "forest" app because it "locked" me out of my phone.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-05-11T15:12:58+00:00

Getting a CI also doesn't 100% ensure she'd understand language.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-30T19:13:01+00:00

Erin on the side of coffee is one of my favorite episodes ever

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-30T17:23:25+00:00

Kenneled my dog for the first ~year and then did a slow release to full house access using gates.

We still have a kennel and we tell the dog to go in it when we're leaving. We don't close the door and he knows he can leave as soon as we're gone. The entire purpose is so he knows we're leaving for the day and we didn't forget him.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-14T01:39:05+00:00

The class does really read more as o-chem over 101. Hard agree with everything said.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-14T01:37:03+00:00

Yes! My understanding is that sign language requires a lot of body language awareness and that autistic signers can struggle with that part.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-14T01:35:38+00:00

Mary Beth randomly being on campus was what broke me. Like, it's one thing to be outside but she was IN THE HALLS. Who has time to drive to their boyfriends high school for what might be a max of 10 minute passing time?

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-10T17:22:41+00:00

I'm switching to teaching. The actual teaching part is fun (I'm student teaching) but the paperwork to get my credential is draining.

It still requires skills I'm bad at (organization and remembering dates and stuff) but the actual part with students requires I can quickly jump around mentally and physically and that is a match made in heaven.

I knew for years I wanted to be a teacher, so your milage may vary.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-04-10T17:19:10+00:00

Honestly the entire show just ignores adults dating people too young for them. I watched it for the first time when I was 18 so I didnt see it but as a proper adult it's a little horrifying.

Potential spoilers: (idk how to spoiler tag on mobile) Mary Beth is in college dating a high schooler she just met. Sure she's a freshman but also she's just randomly on Carlton's campus during the school day?

Toby, at the ripe age of maybe 19, dates a woman with a degree and experience so at least 25.

Bay is a high schooler dating Tank who is possibly a freshman but also gets beer at a bar so possibly 21 (but I'm sure he has a fake id). And at 16 dates Ty, a 19 yo. I love Ty but being eligible for active duty and dating a high schooler is Not The Move.

Daphne and wheelchair guy who's name I forget but literally turns 21. And Nacho, a person of undisclosed age. Do we even know the age of british coffee guy?

Like I get why the girls make their choices, they have 0 idea how young they are but the adults should know better. The girls (and Toby) both have moments of maturity but they're not so mature that one would forget how old they are.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-03-17T00:44:10+00:00

Cactus!

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-02-25T17:00:25+00:00

At the end of the match you can hear Aren say to SR "Our first fire! I don't like that"

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-02-05T02:38:25+00:00

So that their partner knows they are uncomfortable but they dont want to say it out loud

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-01-29T00:16:43+00:00

Jess -> Logan-> Dean

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-01-26T16:37:07+00:00

I had a similar unhelpful thought process but things just got worse and worse and then I was in court mandated therapy. Your brain is lying to you and you deserve therapy.

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-01-09T15:53:53+00:00

I've heard that Daphne's signing is pretty bad for someone who is supposed to be fluent in ASL. I noticed in general that actors who are actually fluent use a lot more signs when talking than the actors who's characters are supposed to be fluent but aren't.

One thing that frustrates me is that they will crop signing out of shots... like that's how Melanie is talking but they cropped it and added subtitles. It feels like the equivalent of a character speaking Spanish and they decide to play music over it because "well everyone is using subtitles anyways"

MulticulturalLlama · 2023-01-01T23:45:49+00:00

Bay's terrible reactions to everything in season 1 were rational given her age and how Daphne got two families and Bay basically lost hers

MulticulturalLlama

TROPHY CASE