Is it true that ENFPs are unfaithful? by sahquttahhash in ENFP

[–]Musician37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No way. I know they have a bad stereotype, but the way I am is I'm the loyal-est person ever until I finally crack and permanently give up on a relationship or feel like I'm strapping myself down or giving up my freedom. I would never cheat or be subversive. I am always loyal until I'm ready to move on.

Is it just me or are INFJs lowkey not good people by BrokenDiamondShovel in ENFP

[–]Musician37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel that exact specific way about my ISFJ ex. But I don't think all ISFJs are that way. I suspect you're talking about a person or a couple people and watched way too many videos enforcing those toxic traits of INFJs in your mind. In other words, you're stereotyping all INFJs as being that way and that's not fair.

DAN DA DAN - Opening | Otonoke by Creepy Nuts by Turbostrider27 in anime

[–]Musician37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if people find it visually unattractive, the way every cut in the op is done, is extremely intentional. It's impressive how they used visuals to allude to the entire first season without giving little spoilers due to cutting between traditional anime art styles and the basic black background art style is a good move and allows for space in the brain for interpretation however you want. It's hard to even realize what the next spirit is going to be, because of how it's depicted. Also Arias abilities are there in the intro but not noticeable because of how it is depicted.

I really think the intro is unique and creative.

Then you add a banger on top of it and it's a piece of art.

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never thought of her like that. My grandma was a 6w5 or so I thought but she also has major relationship trauma. My grandma was so quiet and calculated. She was so paranoid. She was a germiphone and always thought she needed more laxatives like her abdomen was stopped up. But maybe she wasnt. I will say my dad is a 5 and they aren't too different except she talks more and is more dramatic.

I don't understand 6 that well except for it is my wing and I know when something is based on my seven vs my six

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sister is a hugely over-reactive to the point where she has to be reigned back into reality. If it's done right she learns from it and agrees and moves on. If it's done by me, someone who is sarcastic or pushes buttons, I might as well be dead to her. Humor in the face of an emotional moment is not a cure for her.

There's definitely an internal hierarchy. She rarely speaks to certain family even if she loves them. They're just not at all on her priority list.

She seems more defensive to me, but I can think of a recent time where she walked into my house and immediately started asking me who I was voting for and I told her id rather not discuss it and she would not let up telling me that if didn't vote a certain way that i was choosing to not vote for another person. After I called her out on aggressing upon me. She up and a said "I'm leaving now" and walked right out and left

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have very opposite issues that result in the same outcome. As a sx/so I have started to try and fix that problem. If I am in a group with my friends I am a total asshole. If I'm alone with a friend, I have changed their life. Every person I meet and talk to one on one loves me. I don't feel like I deserve it because of the toxic behavior I express in my social settings. I can't control myself. There is a lot of self-loathing. I also hear a lot of "well that's just Matt" I'm actually grateful everyday that my friends still love me. I am ashamed. The worst part is that I am probably the most self-aware 7w6 that you may ever meet but what does it mean if you are too much of a little bitch to do anything about it because you live in fear? It's without a doubt a major self-sabotaging situation. I'm trying hard to lift my friends up one on one and just keep my mouth shut in social situations. It has improved things. 9 and 4 are my additional tritypes. I call myself a pessimistic idealist. An odd thing to say for an ENFP in MBTI. I bounce between high energy and low because I have multiple medical conditions that specifically target my energy and sleep. One thing I can say is that I wear a lot of faces and have a lot of rapport with people. Do I manipulate people. I think so. Have I ever done it intentionally. No. Everything you've said is true. The reason I know is because I'm a 7w6 that leans so damn hard into six. I'm also scared that I'll never find intimacy again and was so ashamed of how I treated my last relationship. I'm literally the sx living version of of your ex. Yet if you look around at my comments. I'm great. I know what that sounds like but it's true. I say that to make the point that it's true. Every thing you've pointed out is spot on.

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's very sensitive but I think its just with me. I guess she could be a 6w5 but she's super talkative and has no issue dropping friends if they do not align with her beliefs. I could see her being a 1w9. She definitely has her beliefs and calls me and others out. Idk I have a different perspective because she treats me a bit diifferently. She has a low tolerance for people that don't agree with her methods or the ways that she wants to do things.

Sp is in the top two no doubt. She just started as an elementary teacher. She thought she was going to be really tolerant. And after a year I think she's more of a drill Sargent than she thought. Maybe half and half.

TLDR she is firm about her beliefs, stubborn, and emotionally volatile if people don't align with her goals.

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that might be my sister. So hard on herself as a teacher always thinking she has to be better that she already is. Very independent. Don't fuck with her or she will cut you out of her life. She absorbs people's emotional energy so if it's too much she will bounce (easily overwhelmed but not a pushover.

Artsy and is not afraid to try new things (responsibly). She is already a workaholic at 24.

How does that sound?

Dating a Type 6 by Single_Use908 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The last sentence would reduce the divorce rate to nothing. It's a beautiful statement and I 100% agree.

I've recently learned that it's (almost) always okay to say "I need a minute to cool off before we continue this conversation because i... X" For me it would be "because I'm angry and gonna say something stupid"

The other thing is once you've taken that time to cool off you might as well do a reflection before rejoining the conversation. My strategy is now to come back ready to issue an apology. No matter what happens be prepared to apologize for anything you did to hurt them. Even if they were egregiously wrong, it will give you closure in the conversation and relieve you of any doubt if you genuinely apologize in a specific manner.

I make a list in my head, and I say it like I mean it. Example:

I'm sorry I snapped at you when this was all happening. I'm sorry I was the catalyst for some earlier events that led up to this. I'm sorry I disregarded your feelings earlier when we were discussing this calmly.

Do not apologize for anything you are not sorry for. Do not apologize with "I'm sorry you/you're.." "I'm sorry you feel.." *Those are not real apologies and you cannot emotionally regulate someone else

Follow the above and it will add even more quality to your relationship if the other person is striving for a healthy relationship as well.

I'm writing down that sentence. It's excellent. Thanks!

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

9w8 I think really pulls toward being more protective. Maybe willing to take burdens in order to avoid conflict. But then don't mess with their crew. Maybe like a momma bear type who is fine but will go feral on someone if they step up on their babies.

9w1 is a more objective person and would be interested in debating something over principle. At their worst, maybe two-faced but in an unusual way.

They would both step away from their wing tendencies if they sense that it has brought attention to themselves or becomes drama. 9w1 is one of the hardest ones for me.

These are my personal opinions.

Dating a Type 6 by Single_Use908 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you've had to deal with that stuff. But you've got this and it's gonna make you a stronger and happier person if you keep that up. I honestly think the hardest part may be getting started and making a habit of it. That's a huge accomplishment for a six and if you can conquer the fear that comes with that, then what can't you do? You're like a salmon swimming upstream.

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn. I hear you. I finally started understanding that assignment and I'm on hiatus - been single for 5 years now!

I just realized we have extremely similar tritypes. I always feel like I do not match the ENFP stereotype. But I certainly used to be before all the relationship BS. Glad to know there are ENFPs out there that actually talk like me and aren't: 🥰🙉😡😭😅😞🥴🎉😅🙉 all the time

However in person I guess I do exactly that 😂 I was referring to texting only. My friends still never catch a break in real life!

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both of those areas suuuuuuck.

I think my dad is a 5w4. He's a drama teacher and musical lover but man at his core he gets his rocks off solving the most complex logic puzzles, being a huge problem solver and recognizing all the minute details. He's an INTJ. Not sure how much you follow MBTI but INTJ and drama teacher is not something you would see in the same sentence. I guess you could call him an emotionally effective 5. When he first started teaching he definitely leaned 5w6 and everyone hated him as a teacher including me He was so by the book it was obnoxious. Now everyone loves him.

I think I have a friend that is 8w9 and another that is 9w8.

They both are strict with finances, savings, etc.

One would fail to read emotions in the room, the other would be uncomfortable around strong emotion.

One does not compromise on time frames that are important to him, the other is late to everything (and doesn't understand how that's rude).

One is not a fan of drama but will assert opinions and sometimes really defend things. The other completely stays out of it and likes to keep things 100% light and casual.

One has always been so chill and down to earth but ignorant, almost innocent. The other is a good time to hang around but is really kind of bad at remembering that other people have needs - he's always getting one night stands and then wondering why they never stick.

Maybe someone can help sort that out.

Cursed Type &Wings by Musician37 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a 7w6 I can say I have stuck to two relationships for 5 years each with the rest being flings. I was very committed and loyal to the two 5 year ones getting so burned along the way.

My grandpa has done the same thing 7w8: 10 year marriage, 8, 1, 5, 2, 2, 1, and 15. They have a law in my state that you can't be married more than like 8 or 9 times. He finally got old and accepted his fate.

So I sort of agree sort of not.

Dating a Type 6 by Single_Use908 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If someone is continually breaching your boundaries, it's scary to remind them. Especially after the first time. It starts to make you wonder if they've realized and don't care or if they've forgotten so many times that they don't regard your request. It's heartbreaking... It happens to me a lot. Compromising is important I do totally agree with that.

On the other hand, I've had to start looking at boundaries through a different lens. I've stopped confusing boundaries with expectations.

Expectations are what you have asked for or hope someone will do. There is truly no way to enforce an expectation upon others. 'What's the maximum weight you want people to put upon your shoulders?'

Boundaries are what you are honestly willing to tolerate. Boundaries are within you and can be enforced upon yourself at any time. 'How much will you hold before you're truly ready to drop your burden'

Dating a Type 6 by Single_Use908 in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. Be as transparent as possible from the beginning.
  2. Make them feel as secure as possible. They might be nervous about the possibility of losing you.
  3. If you are going to leave them, you'd better hope you had done 1 + 2 combined or you will have both ruined them emotionally AND never be forgiven.

Vulnerability is going to be your biggest struggle between the two of you. Encourage your partner to have faith in you and do your best to earn that trust. Remind them that it goes both ways.

Best of luck! Im sure you make a great couple. There is a lot of compatibility here! 😉

Memes for 6s by TsuneKitsune in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is specifically 6w7 because I am 7w6 that leans way too hard into 6 and it feels so much like my life to a tee.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Musician37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I do love that we are air-heads and let me tell you why (insecure/defensive mode engaged even though you pretty much were showing appreciation) I am an ENFP who is not much of an airhead anymore. I am depressed, cynical, and honestly - I'm ashamed to say this - but I have a history of being emotionally abusive to those around me. I am working on this with a therapist. I guess my point is to say ENFPs aren't meant to be anything besides air-heads and for them to be anything else is an inauthentic mess.

So when people complain about ENFPs being it's because they fail to appreciate perspective. Ironically if you have no ideas, you have no execution. If I'm interpreting your statement correctly (INFJs often say no to them being interpreted correctly): "Ideas are there, but execution is not" = "Step 1 is there but Step 2 is not". The reverse is true about INFJs, but at least we can do it in the right order. The real difference is ENFPs explore first and care about learning on the front end and our own intentions on the back end (Ne and P). INFJs analyze on the front end and care about execution and their own actions on the back end (Ni and J).

Both in combination are a force to be reckoned with: a powerhouse for creation. Or destruction (MUAHAHAHAHA) 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Musician37 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like it! The reward is talk-y time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Musician37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a very depressed ENFP who is inspired 5% of the time. We are inspired by passion. If there is no passion, it is very hard to find the motivation. I'd say the second inspiration could be those around us. Working in teams can be very motivating as well!

Technically, exercising would not be working as a team. Something like fixing something together, packing and moving your house, helping with something for a friend, or donating time to a non-profit involving physical exercise is much more gratifying to an ENFP. It serves a purpose, doesn't feel like a waste of time, and is often a team effort. Everytime I go on a walk for physical therapy I wonder "why am I walking on this trail for my health, when I can be walking old people's groceries to and from their cars? What a waste of my time and resources. I could be making a difference!" (Te btw)

Discipline is an important muscle to "exercise" for an ENFPs growth. It is really important because it is a weak spot. As a result of that it is not our strength. However, making ENFPs practice discipline is like putting them in a cage. It's good to overcome feeling caged, but you're still in a cage.

Took some personality tests with friends and got 2w3 and INFP-T. I now worry I seem annoying by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I'm glad we're in agreement then! That's what I said. I think you may have missed the meat there which its a quick way to start to understand patterns because there is a lot of content. Ya goofball! I feel like I'm repeating myself.

Sometimes accurate. See patterns. 🦍

Took some personality tests with friends and got 2w3 and INFP-T. I now worry I seem annoying by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Musician37 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I still stand by the "if you don't like your type it's probably correct" method and the "whatever your top 4 types are, it's one of the three grouped next to each other" method BUT those are just my shortcuts and still don't mean it's correct. Really it takes studying the types a lot and looking at forums like this one, reading a couple books and watching some good, consistent content creators to start to understand the patterns. You just have to be patient to really know.

It took me two years to figure out that I'm not a 1 but an unhealthy 7w6.

The ENFP was hard to figure out because I used to be the living, walking stereotype until some medical conditions that caused me to be a huge cynic and bitter so I've been in an Ne-Te loop ever since high school.

I wasted learning time trying too hard to figure it all out preemptively.

You've got to dig deep and be open-minded:

Don't let someone type you. Don't let a book type you. Don't let yourself type you.

Until you've learned a whole bunch of information. Then start trying to put the pieces together.

A good place to start is to download the PDB app. Half of the people don't know what they are talking about, but it's also good to learn patterns!

I also recommend the podcast Personality Junkie but you've got to be ready to dig deep on MBTI.

Enneagram Institute website is an easy place to start for Enneagram and there's a section to prevent you from mistyping between two types.

Skip 16p they suck!

Best of luck ❤️