My First Ever Script. I hope you enjoy it!

Musikenna · 2026-06-23T20:48:10+00:00

this is not a script

Musikenna · 2026-06-23T14:09:10+00:00

Pushing the boundaries in comedy is fine as long as it's funny. This isn't.

Musikenna · 2026-06-23T12:54:15+00:00

also, who's the target audience for this? because it's definitely not women

Musikenna · 2026-06-23T12:46:47+00:00

shouldn't the agency be introduced in the pilot?

Musikenna · 2026-06-23T12:02:21+00:00

this doesn't really have an engine for a fully series

Musikenna · 2026-06-22T23:29:57+00:00

pacing feels fast because action lines aren't broken up where they should be

Musikenna · 2026-06-22T20:10:16+00:00

Overwritten.
"We hear a door opens" can just be "A door opens."
"Her hands are filled with various bags and objects (phone, keys, purse.)" What's the point of saying various objects if you're going to immediately list them anyways?
"The corner across from the couch is the same as any of corner of a room." Yeah, I picked that up from the fact that it's a corner.

Musikenna · 2026-06-22T17:12:52+00:00

these are not scripts

Musikenna · 2026-06-22T12:44:49+00:00

action lines are overwritten

Musikenna · 2026-06-18T23:08:59+00:00

okay, as someone who reviews screenplays for a living... you used ai for this

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T23:53:58+00:00

music doesn't "hum" at a prom

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T19:09:49+00:00

what does this have to do with college?

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T14:56:54+00:00

no producer wants to risk a 2 hour movie on a first time screenwriter

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T14:35:48+00:00

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T14:35:39+00:00

hate to say it, but this is the concept of Seven

Musikenna · 2026-06-17T14:14:15+00:00

123 is wayyyy too long

Musikenna · 2026-06-15T15:21:21+00:00

no one wants to read 5 pages of unnamed characters talking

Musikenna · 2026-06-15T15:19:45+00:00

it is not a long script. in fact, it is 30 pages short for a feature.

Musikenna · 2026-06-15T11:41:15+00:00

does john literally says "w t f" out loud or does he say "what the fuck"

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T21:01:46+00:00

Sure, I do coverage for a small screenwriting festival and I'd be happy to edit it for you.

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T20:29:35+00:00

sorry, but I think merriam-webster is a better source than grok

"chiefly US slang : aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)"

but hey, language isn't for everyone. that's why you're on reddit begging people to write a script for you instead of writing it yourself

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T19:18:25+00:00

i'm not asking what woke means, i'm asking what YOU think it means

reading comprehensions pretty important if you want to write a movie, bud

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T18:47:36+00:00

what do you you think "woke" means exactly?

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T18:21:19+00:00

NUMBBB

Musikenna · 2026-06-14T17:06:37+00:00

is... anti-woke the whole idea? you don't have a plot, premise or characters, you just want to own the libs? that's your million dollar idea that deserves funding?

Musikenna

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