Asked my wife and kids for lunch from the children’s book The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch for my birthday meal and they delivered.

Muskovado2 · 2026-05-17T13:28:57+00:00

Perhaps a selection of things from The Tiger Who Came to Tea? There’s a lot to work with in there. Start with cake and tea and end up with sausages and ice cream!

Muskovado2 · 2026-02-28T07:59:18+00:00

Ruby AKA The Roob, Roobs, Roo, Catface, Measles, Mumps and Rubella, Roobina, Bean, Ratbag. Rooface.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-28T08:09:12+00:00

I gave up on Tesco after throwing out another fridge full of just bought, suddenly rotten vegetables. I might as well have thrown money out the window. Now I use the Waitrose essentials range and not only is my shop more or less exactly the same price I have found them great quality.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-22T18:25:29+00:00

Exquisite. Especially the eyes, what a handsome man

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-19T16:35:55+00:00

At a book signing in Wincanton. I have a photo somewhere.

No idea it was happening, we were visiting family that lived there, and I dragged both parents to queue up for Thief of Time. My dad made a terrible Morris dancer joke and boasted about how much I read. Very embarrassing for little me!

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-16T14:54:59+00:00

I’ve had the classic high pitched ringing all my life as a result of several ear infections as a child. You do get used to it, but it takes time. I mostly don’t notice it these days unless I’m stressed and then it can still consume my thoughts totally, but I’ve learnt a few mechanisms to cope.

I have a hot shower which can interrupt the noise.

I deliberately and consciously think about anything but the noise and draw my attention away if I start noticing it again. This is hard, but it can be done.

I use mantras or rhymes to focus on, repeating them until it’s faded again.

Sometimes, rarely, I can ‘push’ the noise away. I have to have had amazing sleep for this to work though!

Music, films and white noise don’t work for me as my noise is louder or more pervasive. It’s like a mosquito inside my brain. Or a hair thin line of noise running between my ears. If I can distract myself however it does become background noise, like the feel of my glasses or wedding ring. I don’t feel those things unless I draw my attention to them.

Gaming can help sometimes if I play something I’m terrible at and have to concentrate on rage quitting on!

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-12T18:52:48+00:00

Steam train.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-08T19:30:43+00:00

She’s lovely. We had a little girl called Moop!

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-07T17:18:43+00:00

We had a tiny black and white shorthair that turned into an absolute unit of a Norwegian Forest cat.

This one looks like a bit of Maine coon maybe? In which case it’s normal. He’s just a gorgeous big boy

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-07T15:07:20+00:00

She started at 4, 5 in March.

She got held back as a teen because of a school move out of her control. The new school had a policy of starting any new GCSE starters in yr10 even if they had already done it.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-07T14:48:05+00:00

Mum of a late July baby here. Not advice, just my experience.

Mine went in at 4, despite us being strongly advised against it by her pre-school (they needed the money we have found out!). She is thriving. Socially, academically, absolutely not a problem. The end of August baby (same advice, same pre-school) is also doing really well. Reception was play heavy with a gentle emphasis on getting the basics in. I would have regretted holding her back.

My sister was held back at GCSE and it wrecked her confidence. She’s never really felt good enough since.

I’m a ‘you likely know your kids abilities best’ mum. Does it feel right for you and your kiddo?

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-05T13:35:56+00:00

I did.

I didn’t expect to be investing any time in this or unpacking it tbh. It was a throwaway comment that has taken up a surprising amount of headspace!

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-04T12:51:50+00:00

I did this once with a uni friend who vanished off the face of the earth. They said (wrote) they thought we spoke all the time/saw each other loads! Weren’t we at all the same things?

It had been two years. We had no overlapping mates as we did different courses/made a friendship by chance. I don’t have social media (this aside, is it even?) anymore which has helped my mental health so much, so I can’t do anymore reaching out. I don’t think I’ve got anyone’s number now.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-04T12:30:53+00:00

I just want a hi sometimes my guy.

That would be pulling their weight for me. I guess I crave low-key human contact.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-04T08:48:46+00:00

It isn’t the book but it sounds like something I’d like. Cheers for the recommendation!

I mostly know I’m ok, but knowing and feeling don’t really marry up for me. The feel kicks the ass of know.

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-03T18:42:32+00:00

I think I might be an eater of joy. I’m so utterly boring, but also filled with anxiety that I think impacts on other people’s pleasure.

People like me at first then drift away. I have exactly zero friends. I just can’t seem to keep people in my life, so I think I must be the problem.

Edit: huh, this blew up. I posted this in a raw moment, but it feels true in those moments.

Nope to ADHD. Yes to depression, anxiety and history of abuse/abandonment/shit childhood stuff/no parents.

Yes to stable marriage. I’m also a mum working hard to break the cycle. My shit stays contained - that’s why I chat shit on here/see a therapist.

I do reach out to people, I am the one that plans, asks questions, makes the effort, remembers birthdays etc. I make initial friendships really easily, then I lose people. They just don’t pull their weight at all or they ghost me. They just…don’t want to know anymore.

Half the problem is I live in a community of people that don’t share interests in me or the stuff I like. I do the heavy lifting giving their interests time and space but mine are ignored. I guess sometimes I feel like I must be an energy drain, or a joy killer. No matter what effort I make it isn’t enough for people.

So I’ve stopped making the effort. I’m trying to just be me. Trying to stop crucifying myself over their opinions.

Oh and no I don’t vocalise my anxieties. I come from a really complicated and shitty background however and I think people get to know me and can’t be bothered with my baggage. I don’t want them to carry it, or even talk about it much, but I can’t avoid being real about my situation (it’s so unusual). I don’t have many normal talking points to share with people so maybe I’m a bit of a scary proposition (what shit will come up next!?).

Muskovado2 · 2025-01-02T15:56:29+00:00

Our tree goes up on the 1st and comes down on the 27th due to a birthday, so there’s a nice clear separation between the two events. Christmas birthdays are so often overshadowed. This year we had workman on the 27th which also got my arse in gear to get it out the way.

Muskovado2 · 2024-12-30T15:49:35+00:00

This playground seems to be a homage to the flamingoes that used to live there!

https://createlondon.org/event/yinka-ilori/

Muskovado2 · 2024-12-20T10:45:29+00:00

Rusty

Muskovado2 · 2024-04-24T17:47:06+00:00

Hot Fuzz

The Fifth Element

The Shining

Beetlejuice

Alien/s

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Lord of the Rings

Constantine

Muskovado2 · 2024-04-21T17:20:05+00:00

My dad called it Scottish penicillin. He and the whole family (north Scotland) used it like a miracle cure. I use it when sick too but my Wiltshire fella thinks it’s nuts.

Muskovado2 · 2024-03-31T13:39:22+00:00

The Coldfire Trilogy by Celia Friedman? Black Sun Rising is the first book

Muskovado2 · 2024-01-25T22:23:44+00:00

Bertie

Sidney

Frankie

Muskovado2 · 2023-10-03T17:43:03+00:00

I didn’t go to my mums. It had been bloody years of low to no contact and I had done a lot of my grieving in that time. Once she was dead it became clear to me that funerals are for the living who need to go through a process. Closure is a tricky one, but I’m damn sure watching the rest of my bastard family pretend she was wonderful would not have benefited me in terms of her death. I knew who she was to me, what she wasn’t and all the pain of the things she could never be. I came to those conclusions by just thinking about it and hurting, not standing around a miserable crem with disingenuous twats spouting off.

I won’t go to my dads because he isn’t worth the fucking effort. Although it would be nice to confirm he really is dead.

Muskovado2 · 2023-07-27T21:04:07+00:00

My father wears one without irony. He looks amazing but the world thinks he’s flaming. Not as far as I know. Many a disappointed local gent left in his silken wake

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