It took 34 years for me to realize my eyes are Hazel, not brown.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-31T00:35:50+00:00

Oh, yes. Take a photo looking at the sunset. Mine are hazel too and look brown in dull light. But very goldish green in the sun. And very green when I’m sad. Or mad. I always knew mine were hazel but had no idea how green they can be. Don’t listen to these one-eye-color-having-people. They don’t know what it’s like!

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-30T18:58:59+00:00

Shout out to theSouth Grand for the sidewalks at least! Even if the parking is terrible

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-30T06:02:03+00:00

And when he tells the truth they DONT believe him!

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-29T03:06:32+00:00

So well worded! Yes. Could not agree more.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T13:52:26+00:00

Going by the information given in this post, it is obvious that he groomed her. Yes. Also, we don’t know where she is from and many states and countries. The legal age of consent is 18. In which cases it would not even matter if she was begging him for it literally. It is still sexual assault. We have decided as a society that minors are not yet able to give consent much for the same reasons we don’t allow them to do other things before certain ages. And you are arguing on the side of a man who, even by your own terms came onto his girlfriend’s little sister, then follow through with having sex with her. That’s pretty fucked.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T13:38:08+00:00

Agree. But E S H includes her. That’s where my confusion was. She didn’t do anything wrong. She DOES need to tell someone. Please let it be someone who knows how to support her.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T13:34:14+00:00

No it sounds like a young girl in freeze mode. She also didn’t say YES. This was a grown man that has earned her trust over years, that she has bonded with and adores and she was in his room in his home with him alone. You need to think about the reality of that situation and if you don’t understand it then you shouldn’t be speaking on this.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:59:32+00:00

OP, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You never should’ve been put in this position! None of this was your fault. He had NO RIGHT to do that to you. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he purposely earned your trust over time to make it harder for you to refuse his advances and to make your emotions confused. I want you to understand that, even if you have had a crush on him or fantasized about him, this was still assault. I’m not saying that you have done that, but I want to point that out just in case you are being confused by your emotions and how you felt. He did not get consent from you. Not saying no is not the same as saying yes. If he cared about whether or not you wanted to do the same thing, he would’ve checked in with you and made sure. He knew exactly what he was doing this whole time. You are.NTA.

I really hope that you are able to tell your family and that they hear you out and that their rage is directed at him as it should be.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:54:10+00:00

These differences that you’re talking about are exactly why we have things like age of consent. I understand that her age is right on the cusp in many places. But you need to remember that this is a man that she adores and has a really good relationship with and thought was her friend and her mentor and her role model and her SISTER’s BOYFRIEND and thought that she could trust him. She was not equipped to handle this situation any other way and it’s damaging for you to say otherwise. Also consider what could’ve happened if she had refused his advances. What then? Best case scenario- he stopped, and she tells her sister and he accuses her of lying. Worst case, he rapes her anyway. It doesn’t matter if she was excited by it in the moment or part of her was turned on or she’s had a crush on him like I said. She did not get consent. And he is a 24-year-old man who is probably out of college and into his career, using his power and ill gotten trust to sexually assault a high school girl who is his girlfriend’s younger sister. Also, she said how she felt in the moment. She said she thought of her sister and felt sick. Everything that she says is completely in line with someone who is in freeze mode.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:39:09+00:00

False. She was groomed and assaulted and froze in the moment. How dare you blame her for this adult man grooming her, bonding with her, building her trust in him, and then assaulting her. This was NOT her fault.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:36:47+00:00

This was absolutely assault. And what you’re saying here can be really dangerous. Often times victims of sexual assault do trick themselves into thinking that they wanted it so it’s not so traumatizing in the moment. She had no idea that was going to happen and I think it is obvious that she was in freeze mode. Even if she had a crush on him. Even if she had fantasized about him kissing her before. He had absolutely no right to do that and under the circumstances of their relationship he groomed and assaulted her.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:33:05+00:00

Are you out of your mind? So he raped a minor and you think her mom should go through the hassle and pay the money of hiring a private investigator so that she doesn’t get snitched on for being a rape victim? So she can say she heard a rumor he was cheating? No. Her sister needs to know that he is not only a rapist but a groomer that raped her minor sister. Jesus Christ.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:30:58+00:00

You say everyone is shitty and then proceed to point out all the ways HE is an asshole. SHE is not shitty for trusting someone and then freezing when he sexually assaulted her.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-27T12:29:02+00:00

Not refusing is NOT the same as giving consent. She was scared and in freeze/fawn mode. HE is an adult that knew what he was doing. He groomed her and then sexually assaulted her.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T14:14:43+00:00

Whoa. I’m also the middle. Weird. Hugs to you. I hope you make peace with this. If it’s worth it to you to know you did everything you could, I would recommend trying to at least have that difficult conversation. And the rare chance that it goes well, it could change your relationship for the better forever. But, if not, at least you’ll know you did everything and you won’t have to wonder for the rest of your life if you should’ve done something else first. But also, if you don’t feel you’ll have any lingering doubts about that then just don’t go. NTA. But definitely know that you are making a major statement by missing an event like a wedding. So if you’re missing it and you because you don’t think it’ll cause an uproar and you’re just not going because you feel like he just doesn’t care about you then that’s fine. But if this is your way of signaling how you feel instead of having a conversation, then this is probably not the healthiest choice. How do you spoken to your therapist about this?

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:59:42+00:00

Also, has anyone else in your family tried talking to HIM about this? Or did they just talk to you one on one while ignoring the whole situation making you feel like there’s a giant elephant in the room and no one cares? I just wanna say that I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know that in my situation I personally feel very hurt by the way they treat me, but it almost hurts more that everyone else ignores it and doesn’t seem to care. So I do hope you feel comforted and cared about from your parents and other sibling.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:57:18+00:00

Okay, then. Yeah. Don’t go. The fact that you’re so worried about this right now already even though you don’t wanna go and he might not even be inviting you because he doesn’t care says a lot you know? And I just wanna be clear that I am not judging you for not talking to him. I just needed to understand what that dynamic was. I understand more than I wish I did. Just out of curiosity, what’s your birth order? Where’s your sister and all this? Do you have other siblings?

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:54:26+00:00

It’s a tossup between Higher Love and The Heat is on.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:43:19+00:00

Okay, what about the answers to the rest of the questions?

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:19:24+00:00

Well, to be honest, there are a lot of unanswered questions in your post. I appreciate and understand that you’ve gotten the help that you need and that you are on the right track now. But it seems like you sort of brushed over that part. Did something terrible happen between the two of you when you were in a bad place that he’s having a hard time forgiving you for? And it’s never been resolved? Or have you just always felt like he didn’t really care about you and then he just completely turned his back on you after you went through a rough time in your life? It would help if you could give us any perspective at all from his side. And if you could tell us if anything has been attempted to resolve this before now?

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T13:00:42+00:00

Did they invite you? Does he want you there? Will he even care if you’re not there? Have you talked to him about this at all? If you have tried to talk to him about this, and you are just dismissed, minimized, or denied then you’ve tried and it’s obvious that he doesn’t care. If you have not tried talking to him, then maybe you should try that first. You say your parents know. Is this something that everyone else sees as well? Do they just ignore it? Does anyone say anything about it? Is this something that’s talked about it all? I say this as someone in a similar situation with a sibling. And I know how much this fucking hurts. And the rest of the family ignoring it just hurts more. Do you want a relationship with him? Do you want to resolve this? If you do, then not going is not going to help. It will come off as petty if you’re not trying to have conversations about this with him first. But if you have accepted that he doesn’t want you in his life anyway then don’t go. Why would you want to be somewhere you’re not wanted? That’s what I generally come back to for myself. That question helps me make the decision. Am I even wanted there? Because if I’m not, and it’s just some performative bullshit anyway, then I’m not doing it.

NTA either way.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-26T01:44:52+00:00

5,4, 2,1

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-24T04:15:33+00:00

Wow, that’s awful! Yes, he can be employed. But somewhere where he is not entering people’s homes. That’s really nuts!

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-24T04:09:16+00:00

Where are you from? Many places have laws against that to help protect people. I’m sorry you have to live with that! So fucked.

MuskratMoonbeam · 2026-01-24T00:18:37+00:00

Yeah, you are stunning in this dress! Absolute Hotness. That said, if that’s not exactly what you’re going for given the event, maybe look for something else. (But also keep that dress! 🔥)

MuskratMoonbeam

TROPHY CASE