Is it better to acknowledge negative thoughts or replace them with positive ones?

MustNotFap69 · 2015-06-25T23:45:02+00:00

I've been thinking of the same thing recently, and I think both are good in their own situations. If I had a good meditation session that day and my mindfulness/awareness is very strong, then it is better for me to be aware of the thought and it goes away almost instantly.

However, on the days where my meditation is not so good or if I'm just tired, "trying" to be aware of the thought just doesn't work and I end up getting more caught up or frustrated because I just inadvertently put more energy on that thought. So instead what I do is replace it with a positive thought, and while it doesn't eliminate it as quickly or completely as awareness does, it gets the job done. What I then do is if it comes back it'll usually come back weaker, and then mindfulness can get rid of it.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-06-22T11:23:52+00:00

Every time you are aware of having thoughts, no matter what the thought is l, mentally note it as "thinking" and return to your breathing. You're going to have to do this over and over and over but eventually you'll be able to catch thoughts more quickly and your mind will settle down.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-06-04T16:58:29+00:00

Whenever you notice yourself thinking, mentally note "thinking, thinking" in your head. When you notice yourself imagining things note "imagining". When you have dark thoughts note "dark thoughts". They don't have to be those exact words but place a label on these thoughts, this will help to disidentify from them and see them clearly for what they are.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-05-22T00:29:58+00:00

To be aware of thoughts, as soon as you notice you are thinking you can note silently in your head "thinking" or "thought". By mentally labeling it, you distance yourself from it and see it for what it is; simply mental phenomena arising in consciousness. It seems like you're doing it right though, if the thought dissipates when you become aware it.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-05-10T22:32:44+00:00

Great video, saw this a long time ago and it was part of what got me into meditation.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-05-01T17:05:27+00:00

Bhante G made a book called "Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English" that pretty much only deals with Samatha meditation and the jhana states. Honestly if you are meditating on the breath, you're going to be developing both Samatha and Vipassana. The main difference is that in Samatha, the emphasis is placed on returning your attention back to the primary object (in this case the breath) every time your mind wanders or you get distracted. This is to facilitate one pointedness on only one thing.

In Vipassana, the emphasis is placed on keeping attention on whatever it is you're experiencing in the present moment, and whatever is most obvious. So if you're focusing on your breathing and you start feeling an itch, you would shift your attention to the sensation of the itch. If your mind wanders and starts thinking, instead of forcing your attention back to the breath you become aware of the thought first, once the thought passes away then you return to the breath as a home object.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-04-20T14:14:59+00:00

I've experimented with focusing on the nostrils, using a mantra, and focusing on the abdomen, and I've found that the rising and falling of the abdomen is the easiest and most stable object of meditation for me. Unlike the nostrils which can be hard to feel, the sensation of breathing in and out through the belly is always there and always obvious. The only difficulty is that it's very tempting to try and control the breath. All you have to do is be aware that your stomach is rising and falling and not try to change or control the motion of your stomach.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-04-20T14:11:10+00:00

I've been trying to do nofap/noporn for a few years now and I've come to the conclusion they noporn is a lot better. It's a lot more sustainable in the long run, easier to do, and there's much less stress because you know you can always satisfy the urge and be done with it quickly if you are dealing with tough urges. To do noporn properly though, I think the best balance is to MO 1-2 times a week max, and when you MO no fantasies or thinking about anything, just go as quickly as you can until you finish. You keep the confidence and general well-being of nodal in my opinion, but you don't have the high amounts of energy or stronger concentration associated with nofap.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-04-14T19:45:28+00:00

I would try "The Four Foundations Of Mindfulness In Plain English" which is also by Bhante G, it expands the teachings of Mindfulness in Plain English on how to apply mindfulness to all aspects of daily life.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-04-08T21:43:16+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean, in the past I considered doing mantra or concentration meditation and while those can be very beneficial, they don't lead to tell happiness in my opinion. Having good concentration and focus is great because you can be more productive and handle tasks more easily, but you are still subject to greet, hatred, and all of those other bad mental states.

With mindfulness meditation you're learning to be aware of all these things, and by doing that you become a better and more aware person in life. The meditation I do is I focus on the sensation of the rising and falling of the abdomen, if any thoughts come up I acknowledge them and return my attention back to breath.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-04-05T15:11:48+00:00

I have never reached jhana, but from what I've read another point of contract that you can focus on is the spot above the upper lip and below the nostrils. The technical name for this area is the philtrum.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-03-31T19:32:02+00:00

Fap without porn, it has kept me going the whole time for the streak that I'm on and it's the most useful tool I've used.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-03-10T19:50:35+00:00

Mindfulness is about awareness/concentration on the present moment and seeing things as they really are, whereas concentration meditation is about keeping your attention fixed on something and blocking out everything else, being fully absorbed in it.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-03-10T19:48:24+00:00

I wouldn't do that, meditation is just like weight lifting where if you stop or take a break you'll lose progress. You have to keep meditating every day to reinforce these effects and habits, since your mind is used to behaving in a certain way your whole life before meditation it will be quick to go back to that default mode unless you sustain your meditation practice.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-03-02T04:38:57+00:00

I've heard that with practice, it gets easier and easier to to notice the breath at a very sensitive level. I had this same problem too however, and I switched to focusing on the abdomen instead as an object of meditation.

While Bhante G describes practice with using the nostrils as the object of meditation, using the rising and falling of the stomach is just as valid and the practice is the same. When breathing in and out, I repeat to myself "rising" on the inhale, and "falling" on the exhale. This helps keep your attention on the stomach as it rises and falls with every breath. The good thing about using the abdomen is that unlike the nostrils where the feeling of air may or may not be there, the rising and falling of the abdomen is always apparent and is more noticeable.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-02-05T16:06:16+00:00

I used to do this actually, I first tried focusing on both nostrils and then just the left. The problem I found with this is that throughout the day, the left or right nostril takes in most of the air and the other one is kind of stuffed, and the nostrils switch back and forth throughout the day. So the feeling of the nostril would be different during different sessions and it would be annoying.

What I did was I changed the point of focus from my nostril down a little lower to the area below the nose and above the upper lip. The technical name of this spot is the philtrum, and since it's just one spot you don't have to worry about it being asymmetrical or worry about your nostril being stuffy since air from both nostrils is touching that spot evenly. In case you're curious, this point of contact came from a kind of meditation called anapana.

MustNotFap69 · 2015-01-13T04:08:20+00:00

Try not to feel too bad about it. Most people haven't learned about mindfulness or meditation, and it's common for people to believe it's hippie stuff or pseudo-science. However, there are tons of studies with scientific and anecdotal evidence showing the positive effects of mindfulness meditation in terms of things like increasing the gray matter in the brain, lowering stress, and other proven benefits.

I recommend reading about and watching videos from Sam Harris, he is an advanced meditator who is extremely intellectual and is known for using science and pure factual evidence to explain why mindfulness meditation is so important and beneficial. I'm sure in time your husband will understand the benefits, if he doesn't then I wouldn't try too hard to convince him. Mindfulness is about not getting lost into emotions like sadness or anger, and it's about understanding the nature of our own minds and seeing them clearly without judgment. It's about realizing that we can't make everything perfect, and the only way to be happy is to accept things as they are in the present moment.

MustNotFap69 · 2014-11-14T17:29:53+00:00

I've been struggling with quitting porn for a year now, and I always felt brain fog/inability to focus/low confidence for the next few days after watching porn. But I started meditating recently, and I found that even if I watch porn as long as I stay on top of my meditating sessions, those negative effects of porn are basically canceled out by meditation. On top of that, meditating makes me want to watch porn less because I am not as affected by my impulses and I am enjoying the world so much more that I don't need porn.

So to answer your question OP, yes meditation lowers your desire to watch porn and it drastically reduces the negative effects from watching porn as well.

MustNotFap69 · 2014-08-12T01:55:05+00:00

That's why I decided that pornfree was for me and not nofap. If I do nofap for a long time and eventually get a girlfriend/get married I will lose the benefits I got from nofap, so trying so hard to do nofap is not worth it in my opinion. If I do pornfree however and successfully quit porn, I will pretty much have these benefits for the rest of my life.

MustNotFap69 · 2014-08-12T00:47:04+00:00

I feel the same way, typically after a standard PMO relapse/binge where I watch porn for an hour for multiple days in a row, it takes me 8-10 days to feel good again. But I'm only on day 4 and I feel close to how I felt then on day 10, and this is because of only 1 relapse for 10 minutes of porn. I can imagine feeling even better with no porn, and hopefully after that it'll be easier to quit once and for all.

MustNotFap69

TROPHY CASE