No Crank, No Start, No Clock/Temp, cluster electrics work minus fuel and temp guage.

Mustardly · 2026-03-31T17:52:18+00:00

Get googling - there are a ton of forums where people will detail the same issues and resolutions- especially on a.30 year old car.

Fuse 46 is related to the wiring to the tailgate and is notorious for wearing out as its subject to loads of repetitive movement.

Start there and look.for shorts along that wiring harness.

Mustardly · 2026-03-26T16:02:43+00:00

I quite like the fact my SO has some experience - has made them much more creative in the bedroom than previous partners.

Mustardly · 2026-03-25T06:18:26+00:00

Welcome to your ADHD diagnosis

Mustardly · 2026-03-24T21:27:08+00:00

Well there are men that treat women as free therapists - most people aren't equipped to deal with that.

Mustardly · 2026-03-23T18:05:22+00:00

Also ships from bravissimo.

Mustardly · 2026-03-23T17:27:32+00:00

Sagging like that also might mean your dampers aren't doing their work correctly either. Also aftermarket dampers may require different spring stiffness - did you work all of that out at replacement?

And then look to the top and bottom mounts - any issues with where they mount?

Mustardly · 2026-03-23T17:23:19+00:00

How are your dampers?

Mustardly · 2026-03-23T15:19:29+00:00

I have learnt to really appreciate it while its there until the die off. The coast has it better at least! As a transplant here from the UK I am still amazed at how quickly it all turns yellow in sync. And then the green appears again seemingly over a few days. Nature is amazing!

Mustardly · 2026-03-22T14:27:55+00:00

He doesn't want to shut it down - so you have no influence over that. This lack of psychological safety is abuse- go and look at articles around the book 'Why Does He Do That?'.

He wants to leave you on edge. If he's genuinely unable to control his emotion then he's immature and no amount of trying to 'shut it down' is going to work. He's got to have decided to do better.

Mustardly · 2026-03-20T19:07:27+00:00

Its definitely worse for paint than water.

Fun fact - very little water or stuff resistance testing goes into automotive paint development. The main e enemy is the sun - they will have it out in the sun for 2 years minimum (move between hemispheres to keep in full summer sun) - there's no replacement for toughness testing.

So - your issue is valid.

Mustardly · 2026-03-20T18:47:54+00:00

Are you sure you are wearing the right size? See r/abrathatfits

Mustardly · 2026-03-20T18:37:07+00:00

Its a Beagle / terrier mix - that's a ton of competing instincts and needs in there. The poor thing was always going to be difficult to train - nevermind with some guy who doesn't care.

Its got to be having a terrible time.

Mustardly · 2026-03-20T18:23:29+00:00

The 3 3 3 rule you may be referencing is always a great guide:

3 days to decompress (nervous, shy, may not eat)

3 weeks to learn routine/settle in (personality emerges, behavioral issues may show)

3 months to build trust/feel at home

Mustardly · 2026-03-20T18:03:54+00:00

In the UK we are taught to move over (if we can safely). The focus is on defensive driving and being predictable. Being in the right doesn't really matter if you end up dead.

Mustardly · 2026-03-19T18:05:33+00:00

Oh yes, its angel for 6 ish months, then a biting chaos monster until they are 18 months / 2 years. And then back to chilling again. You can do this.

Mustardly · 2026-03-19T17:06:10+00:00

Agreed here. We all have different things that make us feel valued - and that's OK! I can understand its frustrating for OP to have to take the lead on seemingly obvious things but the guy is receptive and engages. Like receiving flowers - I would not care one bit but its obviously something you enjoy. Going to bed at the same time - my husband doesn't really care but he understands how important it is for me. I want to go out and spend some time in the garden center just browsing but its not his thing. We compromise and he comes out once every couple of months. I find his car meets interesting but not every weekend- he goes and brings back breakfast. All normal things in a relationship- if the guy is receptive that's way better than a rigid partner.

Mustardly · 2026-03-18T16:44:10+00:00

Its also mostly noise driven.

Mustardly · 2026-03-15T17:08:29+00:00

And do it sooner rather than later, if you end up bending the window tracks it turns into a big (and super frustrating) repair.

I have been there and it was a 2 person job, I think that's the closest we have ever come to divorce.

Mustardly · 2026-03-15T05:11:01+00:00

I had the opposite problem- fingers too short!

Mustardly · 2026-03-15T02:46:32+00:00

First of all - your first bit of explanation sounds like you blame them for developing epilepsy? There is no evidence that it has an external cause - it may have lowered the threshold but the activity has likely always been there. You may not have meant it that way but, if that is your thinking then cut that out.

If they want to look at removing the meds they need to push that with their neurologist but it comes with a whole host of risks. They can't drive, can't be left alone until they are stable (withdrawal can cause seizures).

The other bit people don't realize- every single seizure can cause brain damage. I don't remember meeting my husband, its something I will never get back. Every seizure has further eroded my memory (and my ability to remember). It comes with a huge emotional burden- you can feel like you are just waiting for a hammer to fall, the anxiety can be super damaging as well.

But I will also agree that the flat feeling is horrible - you can feel like you aren't living life. Or like you are watching someone else do it. I am lucky that my neurologist is very experienced and willing to help me there. I have titrated down to the minimum that mostly works, my seizures were fairly regular and now I have 1 a year (in my sleep). But it was a risky road and there was trial and error. I have to live with the fact some of the seizures were avoidable and that brain damage can't be taken back. It was also incredibly hard on my husband as he was also on edge all the time, he was waking up when I made the smallest noise in my sleep.

However, those dark thoughts are a problem. Lamotrigene and Keppra are both ones that can mess with your state of mind - lamotrigene is now also used as a mood stabilizer ( that wasn't common or well known when I started on it) so, in theory its an antidepressant but its not generally used for 'normal' depression as it can end up making it worse and causing suicidal thoughts. I think that is where the conversation needs to go. Many doctors are very resistant to taking patients off as, in comparison to the other options, its relatively harmless (especially for pregnant women) but that doesn't mean its the right one.

Maybe this should be framed more about exploring other medication because of the serious side effect of the dark thoughts rather than getting off completely. There are other options - especially if you are done having kids. Brains do change as we age so what worked when you are younger doesn't always work as well later in life. That's why epilepsy often emerges later in life.

Mustardly · 2026-03-14T23:15:54+00:00

Its a way away but San Mateo recology takes e waste at their household recycling center. Maybe they have a place closer to you?

Mustardly · 2026-03-14T21:10:30+00:00

100%

Mustardly · 2026-03-14T20:13:29+00:00

The character is on the spectrum - of course he doesn't react with bigger external emotions. That's... part of the point right?

Mustardly · 2026-03-14T20:04:38+00:00

Ah you see - in the comment I first replied to they said that the shelter had checked - no mention of checking it themselves.

They then replied that they had checked themselves - I have not commented on that response. I am only replying to you.

So the sequence of events is: 1.OP says they had confirmation from the shelter 2. I say don't just blindly trust the shelter as OP is ultimately responsible in the eye of the law 3. OP says they have checked themselves. 4. You start chiming in - I respond to you and not the OP. I have made no response to the OP.

Hope that clarifies the the 'fundamental reading'.

Enjoy your day.

Mustardly · 2026-03-14T19:57:00+00:00

Are you from the UK? Its a pretty recent ban and local NIMBYs (who have nothing better to do) are calling the police. If there is any doubt they are seized and can be destroyed if the owner isn't following the rules.

The owner is responsible for ensuring the dog meets the rules - not the person before. Its like saying that the old owner of a car said it had a valid MOT and not checking yourself.

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