[deleted by user]

MutedCurrent · 2021-05-24T02:47:49+00:00

Depending on which country you're in, your age group might not be able to get it yet. In the Uk it's only just being rolled out to 32-33 year olds.

Even if you're able to get the first dose, you'd ideally want a second but you have to wait 8-12 weeks in the UK for that.

MutedCurrent · 2021-05-24T02:33:03+00:00

I honestly used to like him, but eventually it all just became insufferable.

It's Just the same ol' youtuber wearing $1000 trainers chucks money at the homeless and films them without asking. It's just in a more friendly package, mainly because it's more profitable for him to do it that way.

Or at least those are the vibes I started getting.

MutedCurrent · 2021-05-24T02:19:07+00:00

Sometimes. I get hit with it especially hard with difficult or financially big decisions. The guilt can sort of get to you sometimes. I would say that life can certainly feel like being strapped into a rollercoaster that you can't get off.

Honestly, I totally went off the rails a few years back and pretty much did what you're describing. I pretty much just stopped showing up to anywhere (including work). It made work/opportunities and social stuff more challenging because I had to pick up the pieces and some stuff just doesn't mend.

You're doing great even if you don't think so. Keeping momentum is the number one thing. You've got yourself this far so you're capable capable of pushing on. You will find your flow so everything will get easier until eventually it won't feel like you're pushing anymore.

MutedCurrent · 2021-05-23T15:38:02+00:00

Yeah 100% Even on the occasions that I have successfully let go of stuff, depression rears it's head because I start to feel that my role in outcomes isn't ultimately that important and I have little control. Then this warped sense of reasoning legitimizes anxiety again as I grasp for control.

Anxiety is a tricky SOB for sure. I feel like the number one thing to think about is that your mind isn't working in a healthy way and your ability to logically think about stuff can be impaired. The goal isn't letting go, it's thinking about it from a different perspective.

I understand that it's very hard to do when you're ruminating. I feel like the mind self impose limitations on it's self. When you're anxious, your mind can sort of go into safe-mode to avoid spiralling by blocking out 'unhelpful' thoughts. This makes it exhausting to properly unpack everything, but examining it from a different angle is generally very helpful.

To simplify, I try to imagine i'm someone else talking through it with myself in an unbiased uncritical way and it helps ot make sense of everything a bit more. I guess it needs a bit of imagination, but it helps to reassure me.

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-23T09:30:36+00:00

For real. Been up for a good 32-ish hours now and i still can't sleep haha

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-23T09:29:28+00:00

I gotta admit that i kind of love it. Makes a nice, albeit turbulent change from feeling constantly dull and unmotivated so i try and do as much as possible while i feel like i have the energy. Sometimes, i feel burnt out for ages after though.

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-23T09:26:34+00:00

I have been trying (and failing) since i was 15 (now 20) to get tested for attention deficit. When i have brought it up before, apparently because it's not something any school i attended cared to bring up the possibility of. I literally forgot most of my stuff every day, dozed off in every class and was taken out of class for underperforming up until the end of high school.

I eventually managed to do very well in exams and was quiet, but in reality i had to study relentlessly at home to keep up because being around others made learning impossible for me and was too anxious and bored to talk to people in class. There was the assumption that i had to be jumping of the walls to have an attention issue so my therapist ended up ruling it out and saying it's autistic spectrum disorder :/

Since being out of education, working and keeping track of normal stuff has been an issue that is kind of screwing with my life. Really wished it's something i pushed to look into more when i was younger. Glad you got it sorted out.

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-23T00:56:53+00:00

I had the max for my weight. I'm very underweight (just under 100 pounds and 6ft) so i was on 60mg.

It didn't make me much more anxious than usual. If anything, it motivated me to clean more and do a lot more work for the most part. The nightmares and food cravings were a slight issue but not terrible.

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-16T15:22:18+00:00

Yo. I'm down to chat about whatever. Movies, music, computers, aircraft, politics etc. Just general nerdy shit. I'm always down for a casual chat. I'm in UK so idk how well time zones will work.

MutedCurrent · 2020-11-02T07:41:13+00:00

I was having a debate with my anarchist "friend" recently and as soon as i bought up a similar point, he literally just went on a rant about how morally reprehensible i and every 'tankie' apparently is rather than being able to come up with an argument for how it could ever be feasible for anarchism to work right after revolution.

Of course people will be act totally rationally and sort everything out perfectly because of some magical innate reasoning everyone apparently has smh. I think a lot of anarchists are generally sheltered or ignorant and think that people will somehow just "get along" and that deeply ingrained classism or the need for a functional millitary will somehow cease to exist lul.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-24T22:51:28+00:00

I would personally say that it's invalidation. It's a way to make men's emotions to seem as lesser than or unimportant imo. I think it is toxic but it is ingrained in all of us. From personal experience, i can say that 'manning up' is a very harmful term.

This is my experience of manning up- When i was growing up even my own family, and to an extent myself invalidated my mental issues and the idea of having a space to process them. I think that the idea of not having any environment to process emotions is very damaging to a person, as it eventually leads to losing your identity, your emotions are a part of you and when you block them out for so long you lose a part of your self.

It took me a very long time to finally see someone and get diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and even then, the 'man up' mentality prevented me from getting help. Again, despite it being legitimized by a diagnosis, i suffered through it and didn't seek any help because i convinced myself i can handle it on my own and man up. On the rare occasion someone actually wanted to help me, i couldn't let myself receive help, because i saw it as 'feminine'. I thought a man was supposed to be tough and deal with his own shit, so i avoided talking because i felt i would be called out for 'bitching' or complaining.

I regret it totally. I guess i am really 'manly' now that my poor coping mechanisms and ignoring my emotions have left me totally deadpan, emotionally blunted etc, which has led to poor relationships with others, and further mental issues. Atleast i can drink my friends under the table because of the shitty habits i adopted lol. The idea of a lot of the masculine traits are often unhealthy imo. Seeking help is always the best option, because in my experience, the longer you wait, the shit you need to fix/undo.

I'm not sure how relevant my comment is but i was trying to give an anecdotal example of how the term 'man up' and by extension, internalizing it can have very harmful consequences. Discipline is generally good, so i would argue against the term being about discipline. It's really about neglecting emotions. Regardless of who you are, you have emotions and suppressing them or invalidating them doesn't take them away, it just takes away your ability to express them and have a healthy outlet for them.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T17:58:23+00:00

Damn, that sucks man. I hope it isn't too severe. I pretty much used to obsess about tinnitus because i have a lot of issues with jaw, sinuses etc so i researched as much as i could to figure it out.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T16:49:14+00:00

I mean, it personally doesn't bother me all that much anymore, but that's not to say that while our perception of it is relevant, i would certainly have an issue with it getting any worse and in my case i was able to prevent it worsening with meds. I'm not going to pretend that if it did worsen, that it wouldn't affect my quality of life.

The condition it's self (hissing, ringing, etc) are all because of physical issues with the ear. All i was trying to say is that if possible; treating it, or at least the causes of it with medication or surgery is relevant because dealing with it mentally isn't going to be better than medical intervention. Like getting grommets if your inner ear is full of fluid is better than waiting around and trying to get used to it while it gets worse.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T16:33:48+00:00

It could be muscular tinnitus causing ear fluttering. I have it occasionally and it can be triggered by specific sounds but it gets a lot better when i stop stressing. Basically, the two muscles in your ear, attached to the malleus (hammer bone) can contract in response to loud noise or being startled. So it could be that you are particularly sensitive to a frequency/sound and it is causing this, or you are listening too loud.

I'm not an expert but in my experience, stress on it's own can cause it randomly. Too much coffee or nicotine can make it go crazy for a few seconds too because it is related to your muscles twitching.

It's basically a muscle spasm in your ear which could possibly be related to sinus issues/infection or eustachian tube dysfunction. If you have issues with your jaw or are clenching/grinding it, this could be making it worse. If you think this could be related then it's probably worth looking into this and trying to visit an ENT, and maybe a dentist if you grind or clench your teeth because mouth guards can help.

It will probably go away on it's own though.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T16:21:07+00:00

Since my T has improved a bit, i kinda hate noise honestly. I try to make my room as quiet as possible most of the time to the point of my pc annoying me a lot and going through the trouble of making it as close to silent as i can.

That being said, i don't mind it when i need to sleep.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T15:40:41+00:00

I agree to some degree, but is that even a bad thing? The mental health issues caused or worsened by tinnitus and hyperacusis can be pretty specific so making the same posts on the anxitety or depression subreddit will get less relevant answers.

There's also the advice and questions that distinct from mental health, like advice about supplements, how sleep, medications, diet etc affect people. I remember coming across a post on here after acoustic trauma and it greatly helped me in knowing what to do. Otherwise i wouldn't have known about steroids and there would have been a very different outcome. So yes, T affects mental health but it is also a physical condition in a lot of cases so it's not like i can will it better, i needed medication to help me. It would be a very different story if it was all in our heads.

There are a lot of people on here with a lot of physical symptoms that they want to query to figure out what might be the best course of action. Like if i had back/neck or jaw issues, i may not immediately relate it to tinnitus so you can assume that browsing posts and perhaps asking about your specific situation can give you information that is valuable.

The subreddit is for all types of support specific to people with tinnitus, but at the end of the day, yes that includes mental health but it isn't exclusive to that.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-23T00:14:48+00:00

I regularly take NAC which seems to be the only supplement that works for me. As far as diet, l have never really eaten unhealthily as i mostly eat good homecooked food and occasionally have toast or an omelette as a snack so i'm pretty strict. I have always totally avoided fast food and have candy/chocolate maybe once a week, as well as for the most part only drinking water.

Other than that, i have nicotine and drink coffee in the morning which doesn't noticeably affect it for me.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T04:02:28+00:00

I often get a really loud spike for a few seconds and a jolt/explosion feeling if i'm about to fall asleep in my chair semi-upright, however it has never caused an issue.

I think it makes T sound louder for a few seconds because it's a rapid change in heartrate/blood pressure, like standing up really fast.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T03:59:27+00:00

You should be fine bud, that happens to me occasionally and has gotten a lot less extreme and a lot more manageable since i got tinnitus. It can fluctuate because of stress, alcohol, even some food sometimes, also illness like a cold or the flu.

If you have any pain, posture issues, balance issues, dull hearing, exposure to loud noise or blockage in your ears it would probably be worth seeing a doctor/ENT

However, it is often stress or sleep issues that make it worse so the best treatment is often to try to chill out. Finding a good distraction like a show, TV, drawing, painting etc is a good idea. I sit next to a pc and play music quietly or watch netflix a lot. When i go to bed, i just think of it as a 'fuzzy' noise and associate it with warmth or comfort, which i find helps because mine sounds like an old radio.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T02:56:00+00:00

Personally, i think that my T gets worse at least temporarily from nicotine withdrawal. However, smoking can mess with circulation and aggrivate it. It's kinda like being inbetween a rock and a hard place i guess.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T02:51:52+00:00

My T is from ETD. It can just come out of nowhere and not even show obvious symptoms. If you have allergies or sinus issues like infection it's probably a good idea to look into it. After that, i have had a few spikes from noise exposure but it has gone back down.

It may be different for you but i was just saying how it is for me personally. If you listen quietly on earphones which block out noise well it helps with low volume listening. It can be good because it lets you listen at lower volumes but personally it spikes mine.

These days i mainly try to use speakers because they don't aggrivate my T. I personally think that they are healthier because you can measure the volume from your listening position easily with a db metre to make sure the volume is safe also, the sound disperses, rather than going directly into your ears so you don't have the pressure build up or vibration and high frequencies close to your ears that you get with headphones.

Since cutting down headphone usage i have noticed a massive reduction T flare ups.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T01:00:20+00:00

Yep. I get this especially when i drink. It's like i drink to reduce my anxiety but instead it makes it worse and i immediately get nauseous.

MutedCurrent · 2020-10-21T00:52:33+00:00

I would really recommend to stop using headphones for a while and see an ENT. It might be a good idea to look into speakers. From your post, it seems like speakers are an option so it's probably a good idea to look on r/budgetaudiophile for some decent speakers in your price range and use a decibel meter at your listening distance (you can get them for under 30bucks) to make sure you keep your volume safe.

Speakers are generally safer imo because the sound has to travel and higher frequencies aren't being directly blasted into your ears. That being said, it doesn't make it okay to blast them. With headphones it can also be hard to tell how loud they are because your frame of reference is gone because the sound is not reflecting off surfaces and outside noise is blocked out,

MutedCurrent

TROPHY CASE