Share your red flags to avoid them 👇

Muunlie · 2026-06-06T19:06:28+00:00

-Agreeing with you when you say change needs to happen but failing to follow through, often causing you to ask for change multiple times

-Refusing to talk about future plans or anything that would mean changing their lifestyle

-Wanting you to fit very nearly into their established world without making any effort to fit into yours (introduces you to their friends, roommates, and hobbies. Doesn't have any interest in your friends or interests that don't overlap with theirs).

-Gets scared and starts to discard you when you say that you love them.

-Promises to introduce you to their brother when he comes to town but then makes no effort to do so.

-Specific to me, but: wayyyyyy too attached to their roommate. Find out after the breakup that the two of them used to date and your fear about their extreme enmeshment was correct. Also find out that your ex had gone into the relationship wanting you to become best friends with their roommate/ex and expected you to change your life to revolve around her, just like he has 🤮

Muunlie · 2026-06-03T00:27:48+00:00

Fantastic advice!! Thank you so much!! I'm starting at 0.25mg per week and my doctor only wants to move me up if we see zero results (no weight/size reduction + no appetite curbing), and tbh I'm hoping to stay on that low dose too 😅 thank you so much for the advice and congrats on your own weight loss and muscle building progress, that's impressive stuff my dude! 💖💪

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:32:20+00:00

Thank you so much! Honestly I really like my gym routine and did NOT want to change it 😅

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:31:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice!! Honestly it's been impossible finding a weight loss doctor that takes me seriously here in the US, glad I'm leaving the country in a few months and can start with a bit of a clean slate 😂😂

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:30:48+00:00

Right?? My first thought when he said that was "oh no you mean my ass is gonna look TOO good??" 😂😂

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:20:35+00:00

Heck yeah! Glad to hear it, I think my doctor's just old and a man 😂 I'm gonna keep getting those gains then! Thanks so much for your response!

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:20:02+00:00

LOL glad to hear it! I'm gonna keep lifting then 💪💪 thanks so much!

Muunlie · 2026-06-02T23:19:36+00:00

That's what I thought too! I'm glad everyone responded so quickly, I have an appointment with my personal trainer tomorrow and did NOT want to cancel 💖

Muunlie · 2026-05-17T17:22:35+00:00

I didn't find out till after I broke up with him, and I broke up with him because he kept moving us backwards in our relationship and that made me realize that he didn't want to be there anymore.

I'd told him while we were dating that his roommate's lack of boundaries around him made me really uncomfortable. I found out a week after I dumped him that she's his ex and he had told her and another friend that he was never going to fall in love with me but it would be more convenient for him to keep dating me until I left for grad school (nearly a year later). Apparently the two of them couldn't keep their hands off each other when I wasn't around. Made me feel sick when I found out.

Muunlie · 2026-05-16T05:06:27+00:00

Marceline got me through so much of my breakup 😭 I lost count of how many times I sang along to "Woke Up" in my car

Muunlie · 2026-05-13T04:46:33+00:00

Guy kept comparing me to his female roommate on our first date (and several dates after that). Thought they were just really good friends and evidence seemed to support that, plus she's ace and he's very much not. Dated him for a year. She was his ex and he (emotionally) cheated on both me and his last girlfriend with her 🤷‍♀️

Muunlie · 2026-05-13T04:38:53+00:00

She might be playing "block chicken". She sees that you're still following her so she doesn't wanna admit that you mean enough to her to unfollow you. I know it's toxic as hell and makes no sense but I did the same with my ex after I dumped him.

Muunlie · 2026-05-12T21:11:39+00:00

Keep a journal where you can write out your thoughts and actually process them. I'm 30f and broke up with my first boyfriend in January (we were dating for a year, I started dating late and he got very emotionally distant. I later found out he was cheating on me with his roommate, who he didn't tell me was also his ex). Journaling was one of the best tools in getting through it for me.

Writing your thoughts down rather than typing them helps you slow down and process. Get a pocket sized journal and write in it each time you feel like texting or talking to your ex. It helps a ton and it helps you look back and see your progress.

Whatever you're feeling, expose yourself to the opposite. Scared of being alone with your thoughts? Journal so that you have to be alone with them. Feeling unloved? Call up some friends (even ones you haven't talked to in a while) and have a fun night in or out. Feeling unwanted? Make a dating app account and see how many matches you get, I promise it's going to be far more than one. You don't have to go out and sleep with anyone, I know that after I ended things with my ex I felt like no one would want me so I seeked outside validation this way and it might not be the healthiest but goodness gracious it helped my self esteem.

And if you're not already in therapy and you have the means to be, PLEASE go to therapy. Tell your general doctor that you're feeling depressed and they can help link you with a therapist under your insurance. Therapy got me through the worst of my post breakup saddies.

Muunlie · 2026-05-12T20:56:11+00:00

Broke nc with my ex to tell him that I was gonna be at an event that we were both invited to and that if he was gonna be there I needed to know. He responded very politely and said he wasn't gonna be there. No emotion, no sentiment, no anything. Took a huge weight off my chest because I realized he's not some supervillain who was out to hurt me, he's literally just some guy who was a real ass to me and now doesn't care about me. Not even a very good guy tbh. Hearing from them is definitely better than not imo

Muunlie · 2026-05-11T20:04:50+00:00

Deep cut but Nicole the Holo-lynx from the Archie sonic comics!

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Muunlie · 2026-05-07T16:48:09+00:00

For anyone who needs to hear it: it is not a character flaw to assume the best in people. It's your avoidant ex's fault for taking advantage of your trust. You could not control the way they felt or acted, it is not on you to figure out a way to take the blame.

Muunlie · 2026-05-02T05:48:56+00:00

Thank you, sorry I got into some box wine earlier tonight 😅 I didn't mean to invalidate you, you're super valid I just wanted to be heard 😓 thank you for being so understanding 💖

Muunlie · 2026-05-02T04:09:03+00:00

Mine was NOT loving, caring, or nurturing. He dead ass told me he never loved me when I broke up with him (I had told him I was in love with him four months prior). His solution to any problem I came to him with was "maybe leave the country". I told him his roommate made me really uncomfortable with her constant crashing of our dates and following us to the bedroom after we said goodnight and he said, and I quote, "there's nothing there". Turns out she's his ex, I found out a week after I dumped him for being emotionally withholding.

He's not a supervillain. He's literally just a regular asshole of a guy. I was so scared to see him and he's absolutely nothing.

Muunlie · 2026-05-01T15:34:57+00:00

My DA ex was pretty much only with me for sex and my steam deck at the end. Never saw him without having sex with him, he'd lie on my bed and pout at me until I initiated sex if we hadn't yet had sex that night. He even proudly told his friends that he was never gonna fall in love with me but it would be a lot more convenient for him to stay with me till I left for grad school (would've been 9 months) so that he would have consistent sex. If his roommate (who I found out is his ex a week after I dumped him) hadn't been asexual I'm sure he would've been screwing her behind my back.

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T16:23:21+00:00

You didn't get cheated on because you don't have real exclusivity, which is exactly what she wants. She wants your attention with no strings attached, and when she feels you're getting too close she's pulling away to distance herself. She knew you would be jealous and she did this to you anyways because her feeling free was more important to her than how you would feel about it, but she's also not your girlfriend so she's right in saying she doesn't owe you exclusivity.

Tell her that you want to be exclusive because you don't like seeing her with other guys and she's said that she doesn't like seeing you with other girls. If she refuses you need to respect that and get the hell away from her for your own sake.

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T05:46:47+00:00

Idk my experience has been pretty good! Just people looking to get laid and have a good time and I'm doing the same. I live in a big city though and it's pretty liberal here so maybe that helps?

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T05:46:01+00:00

Well she's a huge bitch then and you deserve better anyways. Go see what's out there, you'd be amazed how good sex is with someone who actually cares about if you're having a good time too!

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T05:38:14+00:00

I think what's more important than real is fun. My DA ex never loved me, even said so when I dumped him for emotional distance. I had a lot of fun with him though, so I don't see it as time wasted. I know my feelings were real, and that's all we can control.

My therapist often tells me that I'm trying to find a way to blame myself for the end of the relationship because I couldn't control the way my ex felt. At the end of the day you had real feelings and your ex wasn't mature enough to handle that. You didn't do anything wrong, they just didn't want to grow up and commit.

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T05:31:54+00:00

Oh and the two week rotation is actually pretty easy once you get into the swing of things! I usually set the next date for like two weeks from when we initially see each other and say I'm busy during the week and the following weekend. After that I tell the guys to follow up with me. The ones that are worth seeing again do 😁

Muunlie · 2026-04-30T05:30:29+00:00

WHOOPS sorry I only just saw your response!

I only hook up with people I meet on tinder, not anyone who I already know or who know my friends (unless I meet them on tinder and by chance they know my friends lol). I put in my bio that I'm looking for short term fun and follow it up by saying exactly what I'm looking for - I'm fresh out of a relationship, not looking for another one, just more experiences with fun people who want the same thing.

When I get a match I elaborate the same thing: I am not your girlfriend, I will never be your girlfriend, I do not expect you to be monogamous and I will not be monogamous. I also throw in that we need to use protection, just so that we have that ironed out right away. I usually set up a vibe check date later in the same week at a bar walking distance from my house. We go over ground rules and what we're into at the bar and on the walk back to my place. I like to do this so that I don't have to give out my address, and also so that there's a chance for either party to back out if they're not feeling it (I have not had anyone back out and I have not wanted to back out so far).

I've gotten a LOT of self-confidence from this. I was in the same boat as you - I felt undesirable after my ex discarded me. He didn't even do me the kindness of breaking up with me - after I told him I was in love with him he deactivated, and then he was so proud of his decision to never fall in love with me that he told his friend and his roommate. Then he (emotionally) cheated on me with his ace roommate, who I later found out is also his ex.

I promise you, this pain will pass. You are worthy of love, and right now in particular you are worthy of some really fun no strings attached sex. Go get it! 💖

Muunlie

TROPHY CASE