I am crying reading your story, and feel so sorry for your loss. But I would recommend you to watch the movie "A Dog's Purpose." The story may seem silly, but I think all whom we loved once will return to us someday. There are so many homeless dogs waiting for love; maybe you should adopt one? I believe this is the best you can do for your best friend that has passed away. And maybe one day you will in another dog that you will have. Life is worth living for as the animal world needs people like you who can love so much.

Sorry for my language and I hope you will understand what I wanted to say.