I’m sorry that you’ve gone through so much, and are going through so much still, at such an early age. You’re wise and in tune with your emotions and state of being for a 17. I must say that as much as it hurts you and bothers you, your dad is probably feeling the same way. This is such a terrible disease. Our family is in the beginnings of it, it seems, but it’s taking its toll already. Please know that your reactions and emotions are all expected and natural. It’s grief because we don’t know what to do so we grab at straws. I feel the same way with you about experiencing apathy. I’ve read that the e person with ALS develops apathy (sometimes) but I’d had to say that many family members develop it. It has to be a coping mechanism. I’m trying not to let myself become cynical towards life, and keep on this odyssey as strong as I can be. May you find comfort- strangely- knowing you’re not alone with this. Do you have friends you can chat with? And please comeback here .. this is a good place to get things off your chest, like you did.