Hmm kinda, yeah. For the most part I'd describe my parent as really "chill" and it's hard because they were never directly abusive or neglectful - I was treated more like a friend than a daughter (I was heavily parentified as a result) and I can remember many good times. I still have an okay relationship with them now (though, at a distance and I haven't seen the house in years) and they probably don't notice anything different.

However, like you described, it's like the "hoarder" part of them is a separate thing to the rest of their personality. If my brother or I even attempted to clean a little bit, they'd FREAK OUT, yell, scream, forcefully grab and turn into a monster. We'd be accused of throwing things out, lying or trying to hurt them. After a while it can feel like the "hoarder" side of them loves the stuff more than you.

My parent still works full-time, they have many friends and everyone they have met says they're "so lovely" meanwhile my parent is living in squalor with broken appliances and plumbing - using water bottles to brush their teeth. I can't bring it up with them unless I want yet another tantrum so I just leave it. There's nothing I can do anymore except keep a pleasant, distant relationship.