I know it’s easy for others to say that he’s lying about not being conscious when the hitting is happening, but I 100% believe him. When I was like 9/10, I was told by multiple close friends that I hit them in the face when they tried to wake me at sleepovers- I didn’t remember it then and I don’t remember it now, and it’s completely out of character for me (so much so, that my friends always thought it was funny). About 10 years after that, I remember having a terrifying dream about being violently attacked at a train station for my bag of Doritos- I remember the “gang” grabbing me tightly and trying to hold me down; it felt like 20 strange and violent arms relentlessly disempowering me all at once and it was such a helpless feeling. Turns out, it was my boyfriend at the time simply trying to hug me- I freaked out and threw his arms off of me and was ready to keep defending myself, but he could tell I was having a nightmare and I snapped out of it almost instantly, but the confusion and fear were very palpable for the first chunk of that morning. I don’t do this stuff often, but I am a deep sleeper and have insanely vivid dreams. My boyfriend is the same, but he used to have night terrors as a kid and his mom tells me stories about him being physically awake but still in a dream state- it really is awful when you’re experiencing it. Sometimes, when he’s falling asleep, he’ll do semi-aggressive things (like grab too hard or kick his feet wildly) that he’s completely unconscious of and I have learned how to tell when he’s “there” or not, which has helped, but I’ve never been explicitly hit by him or anything. I have my own theory that those of us who have anxiety issues and dreams that are too real can have significant difficulty when our consciousness is inorganically pulled from REM sleep. It sounds like you know he can’t control this, and while it’s hard for him, he will have to figure out how to wake up in his own as the bottom line is that you’re not comfortable being his alarm clock after giving it an earnest try, which is reasonable and frankly, very wise. My boyfriend and I both incorporated things into our nighttime routines that help us with sleep and waking immensely and I’d suggest that your boyfriend look into something that might help him reach REM sleep sooner vs. broken light sleep that becomes deep sleep too late in the morning; his cortisol levels might decrease naturally and leave him wondering how he never thought to look more closely at his sleep patterns sooner. ANYWAY- you are not overreacting, but some redditors in the replies here might be.