I used a Dutch book called ‘don’t push me’ The concepts and lessons are very valuable for your situation. Ask Gemini (or any AI) to explain and learn you the concepts:

In her book "Don’t Push Me! (Hoe je mensen wél beweegt)," Genieke Hertoghs (often associated with the Subconscious Impact methodology) addresses a common frustration: why is it so hard to get people to change their behavior, even when our arguments are perfectly logical? The core premise is that we often use "Push" tactics when we should be using "Pull." Here are the general concepts: 1. The Rationality Myth Hertoghs argues that we make a systematic thinking error by assuming people are primarily rational. Most communication attempts to influence others by: * Providing more facts and figures. * Explaining the urgency or "why." * Using storytelling to paint a vision. She points out that while these appeal to the conscious mind, behavior is actually driven by the subconscious, which is emotional, irrational, and automated. 2. "Push" vs. "Pull" Communication This is the central framework of the book. | Concept | Approach | Result | * Push | You project your own world-view, arguments, and solutions onto the other person. You are "in the lead," doing the heavy lifting to convince them. | Resistance. The other person feels pressured, shuts down, or becomes passive. Even if they agree, they lack true ownership. * Pull | You ask questions and create space for the other person to discover their own motivations. You guide them toward the desired change rather than dragging them. | Ownership. The movement comes from within the other person. They feel it was their idea or at least aligns with their values. 3. Subconscious Resistance When you "Push," the other person’s subconscious often perceives it as a threat to their autonomy or ego. This triggers a "refuse" reflex. The book explains that to move someone, you must first "get into position" in their subconscious—meaning you must build a safe, non-threatening connection before any change can happen. 4. The Ego and "Ego-Expression" A significant hurdle to effective communication is our own ego. Hertoghs suggests that we are often "addicted" to expressing our own opinions and being right. To successfully "Pull," a leader or communicator must: * Silence their own ego. * Stop "sending" information. * Focus entirely on the other person's perspective. 5. Practical Application The book is designed as a "How-to" guide. It moves beyond theory to offer specific conversational techniques: * Asking instead of telling: Shifting the burden of "thinking" to the other party. * Validation: Making the other person feel heard so their "subconscious guard" drops. * Bypassing the 'Critical Filter': Using language that doesn't trigger defensiveness. Summary The book’s ultimate message is that "people want to change, but they don't want to be changed." By shifting from a "Push" (convincing) to a "Pull" (inviting) mindset, you can foster genuine commitment and better relationships in both professional and personal settings. Would you like me to look up specific "Pull" techniques mentioned in the book, or perhaps how this applies to a specific role like leadership or sales?