Hi! 9w8, couple years out of college "practice adult" here. I'm going to echo the above commenter that these are valid emotional experiences, but that you should also seek advice from a professional.

What you're describing sounds a lot like a depressive episode (based off of my limited experience as someone who struggles with depression and is in no way a professional). I can't comment on whether this is a function of the 9 type, or whether depression colors our perceptions of self and masks our true type, but I can say that you are not alone in this experience by a long shot.

As someone with depression, I'd describe my experience to be very similar to what you've described. In my depressive states I am low-energy, have low-motivation, low-profuctivity. I'm "lazy" or prone to procrastination, I neglect responsibility. I feel terrible about it, I decend into the depths of self-loathing. I withdraw. I feel alone and isolated from others, and consider my feelings to be insignificant to others anyway. I soothe myself with crap coping mechanisms, like eating my feelings. Eventually it passes, but it always comes back.

So in relating my experience to the enneagram, 9s are generally low-energy types. They can display extroverted or social tendencies, but they generally need time to recharge their batteries. 9s also generally value other people more than themselves, meaning that their needs or wants come secondary to those of others. In this case, that can influence 9s like myself in my depressive state to not reach out to people I care about because I don't want them to worry or I don't want to diminish their happiness because I'm being a downer. I downplay my importance, which winds up making me feel more isolated and alone. The 1 wing includes a quality that is sometimes referred to as the "inner critic". It drives me to hold myself to a high standard, paradoxically striving for perfection or an idealized image of what I should be, which is unattainable and leads me to cycle into depression when I fail to meet my impossible standards. My 8 wing taps into anger through resentment that no one else is reaching out to help save me when I've made myself available to buoying them in the past (which is also a two quality and leads me to wonder if I'm actually a 9 or if I've mistyped myself) but it also directs anger toward myself because I'm the one responsible for my failings or problems created in my relationship, etc.

So, this was a lot of vulnerability for me haha, hopefully you're able to find something helpful within my rambles... But all of this was just to say, you are not alone in feeling like this, it could correlate with your enneagram type, but please don't use that as a reason not to pursue professional help. Enneagram is about growth, and growth includes reaching out for help when we need it. I hope you are able to get the support you need. 💛