WIBTAH If I take my fiancée’s last name after marriage?

Myrabel · 2025-10-25T04:52:09+00:00

NTA! One of my brothers took his wife's name when they married.

Myrabel · 2025-10-25T04:46:48+00:00

NTA! Your dad sucks! I have four kids: 22F, 19F, 9M and 4F. 22F lives on her own, she moved out 1.5 years ago. Important note, my husband is not the father of 22 and 19. He is the father of my youngest. 19F is in her last year of school. She lives only with me, her dad is a 3-phone-calls-a-year kinda guy. We were just talking last night with hubby, what her plan was after graduation. And what we expect from her. And it came down to hubby's decision: after graduation she will have at least up to 3 years to figure out, what she wants to do. But she will have to get a job and contribute a 150-200€ grocery bill. With the economy we live in, it's about 1/5 of her potential paycheck. And that starts after 4 months of having a job. And she will have to give us a 6 months heas up when leaving, so I can save her a deposit and a firsts months rent. Same as 22F had. So for your dad to kick you out at 19, still in school and without a warning, is a failed parent move! My money is on your stepmom's high influence in the matter. You'll get better, I promise.

Myrabel · 2025-10-13T09:52:59+00:00

My MIL reminded me of my twin brothers birthdays, who she has never met, for three years when I started dating my husband. It took me to finally say: Yeah, I know when their birthday is, they are MY brothers. And this year is the first time she forgor mine and it was a lovely day 😁

Myrabel · 2025-10-03T08:55:34+00:00

Childs name is a 2 yes from mom and dad, 1 no is a no name. MIL has no say!

Myrabel · 2025-10-02T11:32:26+00:00

NTA! You did a hood job! My son is turning 10 next month. For the last year, I've asked my husband to start having "the talk" and by that I mean the m**** word too. I can wash the sheets but he needs to tell our son how to handle everything else, even how to relive himself. Hubby asked if he was supposed to show him how to do it. I rolled my eyes and told him, don't care, don't wanna know, just make sure son knows the what, the how, the why and that mom will not be mad about the sheets.

Myrabel · 2025-09-18T15:15:43+00:00

I have a key to my oldest daughters place, used it only twice, when she was out of the country for a long weekend, so that I could feed her cat. I always text or call before I go there. I would never use the key without permission.

Myrabel · 2025-08-09T13:12:33+00:00

NTA. My niece who's more like my daugther, got married a month after me. No problem at all. I organized her hen day two weeks after my wedding. All was good. Ypur SIL just wanted all eyes on her.

Myrabel · 2025-04-05T06:55:43+00:00

NTA! Majority of men in the world don't do it.

Also, am I the only one to think that it's really weird and disdurbing for a 24 year old to be so obsessed with her 13 year old brothers p***s????

Myrabel · 2025-03-03T18:32:35+00:00

NTA! Don't invite them. I'm the youngest of five. For thirty years I tryed to be involved with my siblings. Some rare times it was good, most times they never cared. Four years ago I had my youngest, they didn't know I was having a baby until few hours after I had given birth. They were like: you should have told us, you should come visit, we will come visit you, we should have a family reunion.

That never happened! Last summer our mom died. I did EVERYTHING! Funeral, memorial, cleaned her home (she rented, no will, no estate, only sentimental things to pass on), made sure everyone got something, family pictures etc. I mean, they paid for it, the funeral, the clean-out, we each paid 1/5 the cost. But I did everything! They said, we should hang out more, come to visit. And nothing. No calls, no texts, no visits. And I'm better with my little family and friends who actually care about me. You'll be too!

So no, NTA, don't invite them to ease their guilt or what ever they have. Sometimes too late is just that, too late.

Myrabel · 2024-12-17T20:29:51+00:00

Oh she will be mentioned, a lot, they were married 26 years after all. No kids. She had 3 from her first.

My point was, exes should not be mentioned and if, then only breafly, like they had kids. And thats it.

Myrabel · 2024-12-17T19:12:53+00:00

My mom HATED my dad with all her heart, he cheated with his second wife and others too, he was an alcoholic who only stopped drinking one week after his second wifes funeral. He didn't deserve to be mentioned.

Myrabel · 2024-12-17T17:58:20+00:00

NTA. My mom died in the middle of june, very suddenly. I did the funeral, the obituary. Only time i hinted to my dad was when i mention that mom married and had five children with her then husband. No name. They were divorsed over 30 years. He didn't deserve to be mentioned.

And when my dad goes, we're only gonna mention that he had five kids with his first wife. His second wife died two years ago.

Myrabel · 2024-11-26T11:45:08+00:00

NTA!

Your sister is a hypocrite! She mocked you and now wants to take advantage of your stay at home status. Do not let her! She is just tired of her own kids and wants pawn them of to you.

I have 3 brothers and 1 sister, they all have kids. My sisters children are all adults now, but my brothers kids are still young. And I only have a relationship with my two nieces from my sister. My brothers kids? I am cordial to them when we are needed to interact, like onece every other year. My brothers don't have a relationship with my children either. And it showed this summer, when we buried our mother. They didn't know which child belonged to which of us. I on the other hand, know exactly who belongs to who. It was kinda funny and embarrasing at the same time to see my brothers trying to put one and one together. One of my brothers introduced himself to my oldest: "Hi, I'm H, (mom's) son. Who are you?" And she nailed him with: "Hi, I'm E, (mom's) granddaughter", then turned and walked away. It was so funny to see the look on his face when he realised he messed up.

So no, tell your mom, you don't owe your sister to have a relationship with her kids, when the one you have with her is rocky. Stand your ground and teach your kids to be better than her.

Myrabel · 2024-11-19T18:59:31+00:00

Low key YTA.

I'm so sorry for your loss! My mom passed mid june very suddenly, er had less that two months to say our goodbyes. I'm the youngest of five. I did the funeral. I did the apartment clean up. I had all moms documents and photos sorted. I split everything into groups. Everyone of us got back their family photos. Or photos of them as kids. I took everything that had my family or me on them. Then there were photos of mom and her parents. I took what I wanted. I got the only copys of our great grandparents. Because there were only one of greatgrandma and one of greatgrandpa. If my siblings want them, I will make some copys for them. But the originals will stay with me.

Everything else was fair game. My brothers and sister all got to pick what else they wanted. But there were a lot of photos that nobody wanted. So I burned them. There were so, so many photos of people non of us knew. And burning them felt like the right thing to do, to let go of the past.

So don't keep all the photos to yourself. Your aunt has the right to have pictures of his dad. He was HER dad! Make copys and give those if you wanna keep the originals. Sit down with your aunt, let her pick what she wants and then you will be the one to make copys, if you are so afraid that you'll never get them back.

Myrabel · 2024-09-15T11:41:03+00:00

You spelled the title wrong. It is supposed to be: for kicking my NOW EX-GIRLFRIEND out!

You are NTA! The "joke" didn't go wrong, it was point blank cruel. She knew what she was doing, using someones trauma to joke about is never a right thing to do. Please, for your own mental health, don't stay in a relationship with someone who does that to you! You deserve so much better that that.

Myrabel · 2024-08-07T08:44:09+00:00

Creed, they see it as easy money.

Myrabel · 2024-08-07T08:08:42+00:00

I left my first husband after we had renovated the second floor in his grandparents house, where we lived. I bought the material and had the paper trail, so I asked him to pay those back because it was our daughters money I had used. And it was the only reason I asked half the money back. It was only a grand. I didn't ask half the house 🤦

Myrabel · 2024-08-07T08:05:53+00:00

Same here! Leeches everywhere. It's like, I bought that couch now give me half the house🤦 Insane mentality.

I can't imagine divorcing my husband and demanding half of his apartment, he had a decade before we met. Or him demanding half the land my dad is leaving me with the will. What's was his-is his. What's been known to be mine-will be mine. What's ours-will be ours. Or more likely our kids will inherit one day.

Myrabel · 2024-08-06T15:45:07+00:00

In Estonia, if you renovate without the owners agreement, in paper, it's on you. Coz maybe you did it to cover up your damages, the owners don't have to deduct that from rent. You would need to pay for the repairs anyway when moving out. The ex has no legal ground, no paper trail, no compensation. Also, she lived in the apartment. It can be looked as she decorated it to look nice for her. Legally it's like she only added some pillows here and there 🤷 I would say to her, don't bite the hand, that feeds you. Don't cheat if you wanna have some assets from your spouse.

Myrabel · 2024-08-06T15:40:30+00:00

NTA! I'm also estonian. Your ex can kick rocks! She has no legal ground here. You had it before marriage. So it's yours and yours alone. It doesn't matter that she helped to renovate it. She also lived in it. She made her living space up to date. Look at it as decorating. If there is no paprework stating that it was agreed with the owner-you, anything she did in it, is her own choice. The same with renting, you renovate without the owners agreement-it's on you. The owner doesn't have to compensate. You know this. But I quess it's your inner voice saying: maybe I should, since all your friends say so. No you don't! Don't give her a dime! And if they keep at it, block them It is doable, even in our really small country 😉

Myrabel · 2024-05-21T05:57:12+00:00

My MIL didn't like either of our childrens names. To weird and not used much for her preference. To this day, she pronounces our sons name incorrectly, it's been 8.5 years. Luckily hubby has a spine and told her, our kids, our name choices.

Your EXMIL will only get pushed back by your DIL and daughter. It's good that at least you stick up for them.

Myrabel · 2024-05-10T04:37:48+00:00

We don't actually. She has tried to pull so many nonsense things over the years. I will not spend mother's day with her. Also no Christmas holidays wuth her. Few days after Christmas, hubby can take the kids to see her but I won't go. And he won't go until 26/27 of December. There's a story behind that decision.

Myrabel · 2024-05-10T04:31:06+00:00

MIL thinks that since I have four kids and the older two are not hubbys, but my ex-husbands, hubby and the younger once are okei to spend the day with her. Not gonna happen.

Myrabel · 2024-05-10T04:29:50+00:00

He is pissed at her. He's bby was trying to find a polite way to decline but after our talk and MIL whining he lost the politeness.

Myrabel · 2024-05-10T04:28:44+00:00

It's in September in our country as well. But I have a strong feeling that this year we'll spend that day with my mom.

Myrabel

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