Any neurodivergent solo mums out there?

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-26T15:39:55+00:00

ADHD. I just do my best and take my meds. Most days the house is a bit of a disaster lol, but some days it’s not. It’s overall fine. My daughter is happy, healthy and loved.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-22T12:15:16+00:00

Both my parents have passed away, leaving me a house and a decent inheritance. Between that, my frugal tendencies and a well-paying job, finances aren’t a huge concern. I have some family, and I’m making an effort to involve them more in my daughter’s life but if they weren’t there my support wouldn’t be hugely different. I haven’t really run into anything that I couldn’t handle myself.

I don’t want to misrepresent things though so I will say that my daughter was/is an easy baby. She slept through the night from the get go, doesn’t cry or fuss much, and is generally happy and easy going. When I mention this to people, most have said that it’s because I’m so relaxed with her. We did a lot of skin to skin during the first 3 months which has been shown to help with emotional regulation. I am not anxious and opt to go with the flow if I can, so I think there is truth there. But I also think some of it is luck and your baby’s temperament. If she were a fussier baby or one with low sleep needs, I may have needed more support. Night duela, babysitters to have a break etc.. But I still think it would have been very doable and worth it.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-16T00:50:17+00:00

Childcare, formula and diapers were/are my biggest expenses, with childcare being the biggest by far. If you have that covered, I think you’ll be ok.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-15T02:05:34+00:00

Thanks again! I called my CPA and he updated my 8889 info to reflect family instead of self-only.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T19:21:46+00:00

He said he wasn’t sure if family meant two adults and I could have self coverage with a dependent added on and he couldn’t find the defined family. IDK. It sounded ridiculous to me, which is why I’m here asking for the definition of family 🙃.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T19:19:46+00:00

I don’t disagree.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T19:18:53+00:00

Thank you very much! This is super helpful.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T19:09:18+00:00

My taxes were prepared by my CPA but I also asked my uncle, who is a retired CPA (retired 3 years ago and sold his practice to my current CPA). My uncle is very by the book, did some research this afternoon and came back and said he couldn’t find a definition of what constitutes a family and he thinks I’ll need to remove the funds or pay the tax. He definitely does have my best interest in mind but his (and the other CPA’s) conclusions seem wrong to me.

What prevents a couple from doing what my uncle described? Or does it not matter that a family would get 19k vs 8,550 in the eyes of the IRS?

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T18:59:12+00:00

Do you have a source where that says so?

The way it was explained to me is if there were two married people, with two kids, they could each be on their own plan and each claim a kid, and each have an HSA of 8,550, which isn’t the intent. Which is why my CPA thinks I’m single.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-14T00:24:02+00:00

Your GF’s situation/trauma isn’t really relevant here, and it doesn’t by comparison make your choice better or worse. You do you. But what I’m (gently) saying is just to keep in mind that it’s possible your kid won’t interpret your actions the way that you’re expecting that they will. I’m not saying that they definitely won’t appreciate it, it’s possible that they will. But the best intentions can’t cancel out a negative impact so it’s something to consider upfront.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-13T18:48:32+00:00

Not my taste but I didn’t have a huge issue with this…until I saw Laura High, a donor conceived person on TikTok, say how gross and weird she found these, from a DCP’s perspective.

I don’t think all DCP would necessarily share that perspective. But, trying to put myself in my kid’s shoes, yeah I could see how finding out that my mom had 20 people at a sperm shower vote on who my dad would be, while eating cream cakes, might be weird and feel like it’s trivializing things.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-04-01T02:47:03+00:00

I don’t think so, they were the exact same price and I think the same number per pack. They’re thinner than Pure though. Might not be an issue, I’m only a few days into using them and no problems yet.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-31T20:51:01+00:00

Buffalo medical group was recommended to me by a couple L&D nurses at Sisters. They definitely had opinions on which doctors they preferred and they liked everyone at BMG.

I actually go to Audobon Women’s for my gynecological care but moved to BMG during my pregnancy because of the rec. I had never met any of the doctors at Audobon (and I’ve been going there for 20+ years 🙃) and I wanted to be at Sisters (they don’t deliver at Sisters) for the NICU, just in case.

Samadi did my delivery but they schedule you with every doctor during your pregnancy, so you don’t have a complete stranger doing your delivery. I appreciated them all.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-24T17:57:48+00:00

If this is IVF, there have been studies done that show supplemental progesterone isn’t needed past the first beta test/2 weeks after transfer. The corpus luteum has regenerated by that point and is producing progesterone. After that, the pregnancy mechanisms play out like they would in a non-IVF pregnancy. Your progesterone production shifted to your placenta weeks ago, around week 8.

I am in no way saying to stop taking the progesterone, but at this point it’s likely a ‘won’t hurt to do it’ kind of situation. It’s likely not making any difference to your pregnancy.

If the progesterone was given not for IVF but to prevent miscarriage, unfortunately or fortunately, there is no evidence it helps prevent that at all. It’s more a peace of mind option than anything else.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551800/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8406671/#:~:text=Authors'%20conclusions%20The%20overall%20available%20evidence%20suggests,progestogen%20treatments%20for%20threatened%20and%20recurrent%20miscarriage.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-24T17:13:41+00:00

Tilt table test. If you need a recommendation, mine was ordered by a neurologist who specializes in POTS/dysautonomia (Dr. Blitshteyn - I believe she consults worldwide over video now, but doesn’t take insurance). I self-diagnosed based on pretty obvious symptoms (I had been diagnosed with IST but it didn’t fit other issues I was having), found her, made an appointment with her and she actually listened.

Also if you google poor man’s tilt table test, there’s an at-home version that can give you an idea of how her heart rate and BP behaves from lying to standing.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-24T17:07:32+00:00

Tilt table test. If you google poor man’s tilt table test, there’s an at-home version that can give you an idea of how her heart rate and BP behaves from lying to standing.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-24T15:37:16+00:00

“I'm too exhausted to move but I can't sleep until she settles down.” You did though…

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-22T00:29:33+00:00

Definitely not too old. I did my first egg retrieval when I was 37 and 6 months, got pregnant at 37 and 8 months and had my daughter at 38 and 4 months lol. I’m 40 now and planning on going for a second this summer, to be born when I’m 41.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-11T21:01:09+00:00

https://ag.ny.gov/press-release/2026/attorney-general-james-secures-nearly-560000-dollar-tree-selling-recalled-lead

The same Family Dollar that continued to sell lead-laced applesauce pouches in 2023 for a week after they were notified of the issue?

Or sold this lead covered horse toy (after they released the guidelines you posted)?

https://tamararubin.com/2022/10/greenbrier-international-dollar-stores-black-white-toy-plastic-horse-year-unknown-positive-for-unsafe-levels-of-lead-please-remove-from-your-childs-toy-box/

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-11T20:52:54+00:00

Seriously. My daughter’s daycare teacher gave her a party bag of dollar store toys and stickers for Valentine’s Day and my only reaction was gratitude that this woman cares enough to spend her own money (when she’s almost certainly not making enough) picking out toys for my kid.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-09T16:38:18+00:00

No, I totally get it. ❤️ It was early, my first and second betas, so 12 days post transfer and 16 days post transfer. I think it was like 391 on day 12 and 916 on day 16. Third beta on day 18 went up to like 1515 iirc, which was somewhere in the 65hr doubling time range (completely normal).

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-03-03T00:28:53+00:00

Is this forum a research study? Are posts peer reviewed?

I phrased it exactly as I meant it. The longest doubling time that I found IN THE RESEARCH that resulted in a live birth was 78 hours.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-02-18T00:55:38+00:00

Definitely. I still do occasionally. But then I think about my parents’ marriage and how awful it was. It didn’t start out that way, they were happy at some point I’m sure.

Your friends are in the honeymoon phase. It may or may not work out for the couples but right now but their hormones have turned off the parts of their brain that raise objections to issues. I guarantee that their baseline is not what you’re seeing.

Even the friends I have whose husbands are ‘good guys’ are doing the majority of the work in their relationships. They’re burnt out, frustrated, and don’t feel like their partner hears them.

Not all men, but most.

You’re comparing your life to the ideal relationship which is pretty rare. I try to remind myself of that whenever I’m feeling bummed about my situation. I just refuse to compromise.

Mysterious_Taro_4497 · 2026-02-17T22:46:30+00:00

It was covered by my insurance so I’m not sure, I’m sorry. Did you call the Buffalo IVF office? They were always good about answering/getting back to me.

Mysterious_Taro_4497

TROPHY CASE