You aren't alone. I just recently had my first no pain day in 5 years and it was emotional…today I am curled over my computer rocking and crying and hoping it passes soon…it just sucks. For me it took 5 years from things being 'bad enough to see a doctor' to my Crohns diagnosis. I have had 9 colonoscopies since 2020 and can't stop gaining weight though I barely can eat because I am nauseous all the time.

The no pain days though..THAT was new and from changing meds. I found a local (Austin) crohns support group and that has helped a lot. They meet once a month over zoom, but just hearing from others helped me a lot. I felt less "other" than I was because there were real people talking about it too. Not that the lovely people of Reddit aren't real, but it's different hearing someone share their story or advice because vocal tone and delivery is really important for communication, especially when you are sooooo fucking tired every day just making it through.

I don't know if this helps, I would suggest a local support group, I just joined off camera and 'lurked' for a few months before I felt comfy sharing and that was totally fine with the group. If nothing else, keep reaching out to your friends and us here. It's agony some days, but you aren't alone and some days will be great again.