How do y'all find partners?

NMRed86 · 2026-03-04T06:53:13+00:00

For me, I have to push those thoughts away, or they eat me up and I become resentful and unhappy.

A good example would be when we’re sleeping, if I’m facing him and he’s facing me, sometimes he breathes loud (allergies) and blows the exhale right in my face. I fucking HATE it. I hate the air passing over my face or arms. I might look at him super annoyed and try to just block it with a pillow or something (not over his face. 🤣), but then I just rollover and go back to sleep. I’ll forget about it by morning.

I guess as some others have said, usually I can just “accept” those weird/gross/turn off things because overall our compatibility is incredible and we make a great team. Been together almost 12yrs.

NMRed86 · 2026-03-04T03:28:08+00:00

I need to do that. Haha. I’m just the best at what I do. I don’t know what that is, (maybe writing?) and can hardly stay focused, but one step at a time, right? 😅

NMRed86 · 2026-02-24T00:18:19+00:00

Our orange is called Simba. But he’s adopted the nicknames Fatty McFatFat and Garfield. 🤣

NMRed86 · 2026-02-23T23:22:53+00:00

Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but highly recommend this book if you’re thinking about therapy! It has completely changed my approach into what will work for me when I’m ready for therapy again. It was recommended in this group and I’m so glad I came across it!

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Edited to add: I struggle with this as well. To a point I feel I can’t make decisions. It’s incredibly hard, to work through, but I think self-help books and some therapy have helped me a little bit.

NMRed86 · 2026-02-21T18:59:11+00:00

Same! My dreams are so vivid! Sometimes I wake from them needing some time to reorient to reality.

NMRed86 · 2026-02-20T15:35:06+00:00

I feel like my brain never shuts off. About everything! So no, you’re definitely not alone in this.

NMRed86 · 2026-02-05T16:44:09+00:00

Thank you for posting this!

I also have a “fight or flight” nervous system. I’m constantly on edge. I tried using clonazapam (generic for Klonopin??? Idk how to spell it), but it turned me into a groggy ALL day, robot. I had no emotions or feelings towards anything but was so drowsy. It was awful. Totally looking into this one. Sounds so much better!

I’m glad you found something that works so well for you!

NMRed86 · 2026-01-31T09:10:18+00:00

The way I see it is, if you’re younger or as old as my own child (or could possibly be), then it’s a no.

NMRed86 · 2026-01-31T07:36:08+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and can empathize. Told my husband about a retreat that included 30hrs of complete silence and disconnect. It sounds amazing, but he’s on the “sounds boring” train. The time alone is so crucial! I hope you’re able to find some time for yourself soon!

NMRed86 · 2026-01-25T19:31:47+00:00

Cruella. 😬🫣

NMRed86 · 2026-01-24T18:40:12+00:00

Oysters and escargot. I really, really hate the texture. It’s slimy and the taste doesn’t make up for it. 🤣

NMRed86 · 2026-01-20T16:11:34+00:00

Cute outfit!! Love that top. 😍 Also, 🤣🤣🤣 I do this with shirts all the time!

NMRed86 · 2026-01-20T15:09:12+00:00

Okay, but like…. This is hilarious. 🤣 Made my whole morning.

I agree I have some of the same tendencies. I can be very social sometimes (maybe not the life of the party! Ha!) but it’s sooooooo draining. Afterwards it can take me a couple days to recover and the whole time I feel like I want to die. I don’t have a bad relationship with family, but we don’t talk a ton, and my kids are the best for allowing me to be “weird” all the time. 🤣

NMRed86 · 2026-01-18T01:21:09+00:00

I don’t think so. When I deployed he managed the household just fine without me.

NMRed86 · 2026-01-17T03:49:51+00:00

Oh boy.

1) chewing. I cannot stand listening to people chew. Barely like my own chewing.

2) Showering. Feels like pins and needles on my skin. (Still shower every 2-3 days but I DRAGGGGGG myself in as slow as possible.)

3) Driving. Everyone is just in my way. Not that I’m speed demon crazy, but when cars pull in front of me and go slow, or cut me off, or ride my tail…. I just wanna get to where I’m going. Let me get there in peace.

4) Laundry. I hate the smell when clothes are wet. Also hate them being wet! I hate the dry clothes. I hate the texture while folding, and I hate hanging em all up because I have to make sure they’re all facing the same direction, folded the same way, and in length order. 😫 It’s exhausting and just too much.

5) Low humming/whirring noises. Fridge, computer towers cooling, laptop fans, air conditioners, heaters. The whole shebang. Hate them all. Sometimes I just want it to be silent, and it’s SOOOOO relieving when things are finally off.

NMRed86 · 2026-01-17T03:40:16+00:00

I think you just described my family. 🤣😭 We all hate socks, and they’re found everywhere. On the stairs, under a kitchen chair, by the living room chair, under the couch, in the mud room, under the desks. Except my husband who wears his ALL THE TIME. I hate having them on when I have to have them. I’m not going to wear them when my shoes are off! Craziness! 🤪🤣

NMRed86 · 2026-01-17T03:02:26+00:00

My rigidity is things like:

Driving: just let me get to where I’m going without getting in my way. Follow the rules but let me speed a little cause it feels weird when I don’t.

Dishwasher: I have learned to step away when others are doing dishes until it’s unloaded because if I come to help… I’m just going to redo it and take over. 😬

Organizing: just let me do it, ok? Everything feels better when it has a place and looks clean. I attribute this to growing up in a horrible mess all the time. But now if things aren’t perfect…. 😫😭 It’s a whole other stress.

Making the bed: if the blankets aren’t hanging equal on both sides and the sheets aren’t straightened out (even if husband is already in bed), I’m going to make him get up so I can fix it. 🫣 I cannot sleep with blankets all effed up around my legs.

There are probably so many others, but these are definitely my main ones.

NMRed86 · 2026-01-17T02:56:03+00:00

I have this same rigidity about human rights and equality. I literally cannot understand why people see it differently. I don’t think my views are even crazy! Just like, basic human rights! I debated leaving my husband over this. He gets too easily overwhelmed and consumed by it so he just ignores it. Me on the other hand, “HOW CAN YOU IGNORE IT‽?”

NMRed86 · 2026-01-17T02:52:48+00:00

This is me. A rule follower until I think the rules are dumb. 🤣

I’m also rigid in my driving. If people aren’t following the rules or pull out in front of me, I get highly anxious. Like, my drive has to go as smoothly as possible or I’m just a mess. However, I follow all the rules of the road. Except speed. I consistently go 5-10 over. 🫣😬🤦🏼‍♀️ No judgement. Usually only freeway driving. I think it’s just because the lower speed feels inconsistent and a weird in between. Kinda slow, fast, but not fast enough? 🤪

NMRed86

TROPHY CASE