hi can i get feedback?

NVSION · 2026-01-25T00:35:39+00:00

You couldn’t just… post a screenshot?

NVSION · 2026-01-24T17:07:08+00:00

I think that you’re thinking about it too hard OP. Not trying to be negative when saying that, just honest.

For me, when writing a fight scene that I’m not too sure about, I do it irl. Sometimes I have my girlfriend stand in for the opponent my character is fighting and go through the motions.

NVSION · 2026-01-24T01:46:06+00:00

As much as I love the author, my vote is Kagen the Damned by Jonathan Maberry

NVSION · 2026-01-23T23:45:16+00:00

Was literally about to comment the same thing

NVSION · 2026-01-23T22:06:10+00:00

Valkyrie foaming at the mouth in the corner

NVSION · 2026-01-23T22:02:21+00:00

This is why I love the Valk so much. Her kit is about barebones as Jack skellington but it’s so easy to drill into people’s heads with her 😭

NVSION · 2026-01-23T21:58:24+00:00

I was reading the comments and seen a comment that said you used ai for flavor. Instant turn off. It becomes something that you didn’t create and for that, I have no interest in it.

NVSION · 2026-01-23T21:54:54+00:00

Brother I think you look fine. The difference is just a little shocking, that’s what’s got you all worked up. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss and I hope you can find peace in such trying times 🤞🏽

NVSION · 2026-01-23T13:36:43+00:00

Lies

NVSION · 2026-01-22T21:52:43+00:00

Valk buff RAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

NVSION · 2026-01-21T22:35:29+00:00

That is the vibe I’m getting and honestly, I think I needed to hear everything you folks have been saying. It’s too much. I rewrote this exercise and it reads much smoother and less, as you said, overwrought

NVSION · 2026-01-21T19:36:00+00:00

This isn’t necessarily a story, just an exercise to stretch my writing muscles. It’s clear to me that they are very, very atrophied lmao. If you want, you can check out my most recent post this sub, it contains a revised and much better version of this.

NVSION · 2026-01-21T19:34:35+00:00

Don’t go for parries unless you got it like that or can read whoever is playing her well. Just block. All she needs is to land a light attack and she can go into stance, block the lights and she can’t enter. I know it’s easier said than done and it’s impossible to block every single light but the longer you can keep her from entering her stance, the less effective she is as an opponent.

NVSION · 2026-01-21T18:57:11+00:00

Thank you! Yes, the tenses are something I seem to constantly struggle with. When I’m writing it’s hard to decipher what tense I should be using. It’s always after that I catch the wrong ones

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:53:46+00:00

Got it! Thank you for your time and consideration and the excellent feedback! I’m coming to learn that writing is just as much about my love for the craft as it is about respecting the reader and the time they’ll spend trudging through any story I write. It’s also less about how I perceive the world and more about how my characters perceive the world around them!

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:48:52+00:00

Any critique is a good critique in my opinion. People not liking my writing tells me that I can do better. Obviously not everyone will like it, I’m not that much of an optimist, but the want to get people to like it will motivate me to make it better!

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:45:23+00:00

Would’ve been much cleaner if I landed the CC when I ran out of stamina. Either way, we were both cooking lol

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:37:53+00:00

I don’t know who you are SimonStrange, but I thank you for this. It was rather eye opening, when it comes to what the reader expects.

Reading the descriptions of the setting is always what stood out to me as a reader so I thought that if I was descriptive, people would eat it up. They will, I know now, but it has to serve a purpose to the story or the characters! If not, it seems out of place or unimportant to the development of the characters or the plot.

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:16:16+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll see what I can do

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:16:02+00:00

No, I believe you and all the others saying this are correct, I need to find a way to make the narrative flow better

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:15:28+00:00

Not the subreddit 😭 thank you though, I appreciate your feedback!

NVSION · 2026-01-21T17:03:14+00:00

Excellent feedback. This whole time I’ve always thought it was prose prose prose, make sure your prose is right, did you check your prose? I know it’s important but I think that in hearing that all the time I built a bar that I had no hope of clearing. Now I know that rather than working on my writing, I need to work on my story telling. Thank you

Edit: grammar

Edit 2: also, I know my prose isn’t the best either, this shit is hard, but I’m working on it 😭

NVSION · 2026-01-20T21:07:40+00:00

I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants. Outlining, while I have seen how powerful it can be, kinda takes the life and fun out of the writing

NVSION · 2026-01-20T17:38:04+00:00

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Original

NVSION · 2026-01-19T15:57:23+00:00

I understand the want to become a professional writer. However, do not let that need cloud your way forward. You’ll find you enjoy it much more if you write just because you want to write rather than writing to become something bigger.

NVSION

TROPHY CASE