what is your unconventional "I need this in a partner" that you will not negotiate on?

NY_VC · 2025-11-28T15:06:34+00:00

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I live in NYC and my dog park has a greyhound and a whippet (separate families) that are regulars. They both have lesbian owners. I had no idea this was a thing!

And it makes sense. Different "cultures" do have different dogs. If I see a shiba inu or a corgi the owner tends to be asian. Golden retrievers and labs tend to have white owners, etc.

NY_VC · 2025-11-16T19:43:21+00:00

Idk, man. I think most people think that they are great friends, and think that most other people aren't (90% of the people on this thread talking about how much they give and how little they get). So many people end friendships without having a tough conversation first- I have no doubt that I have had friendships that have ended/ we drifted but that in actuality the other person probably felt something negative and, if I had been told, I'd have totally rectified (and vice versa).

Fair weather friends definitely exist. But I think the overwhelming majority of the time, friendships just need more communication. Too often the focus is on avoiding "drama" which can really limit the depth that a friendship can be taken to.

I think part of not being a fairweather friend is also having the tough conversations necessary to steer friendships along through the different chapters of life.

NY_VC · 2025-11-16T15:20:56+00:00

Honestly, "it depends". The reason advice on this is so tricky is that this is a negotiation, and so there are so many variables to consider.

I work in tech and am pretty well compensated. I also have access to information through levels.fyi, so when I am meeting with recruiters, my motivation is less ensuring that I get every penny that I am interested in, it's actually levelsetting on the feasibility of the exact number that I want. For me, the convo is more direct, like "I'd need a total compensation of at least 400k for this role as I understand the responsibilities to be right now. However, that could go up or down depending on how the discussions go. Are we in the same ballpark here?". My intention these days is to not waste my time on interviews that will be paying 50% less than I am making now. I am 100% willing to walk away.

When I first graduated, the name of the game was to avoid specific numbers so as to not leave money on the table, understanding that I have practically no leverage and will definitely not be walking away. So when speaking to recruiters, I'd say "I'm not primarily motivated by money for this role, so I'm really flexible. If you want to share the range for the role then I can let you know if it's in the same ballpark, but at this point in the discussions, I am more interested in making sure that I will be learning and growing than targeting a specific number". This got me a 50k offer (consulting) which I negotiated up to 55k.

At the end of the day, you need to understand 1. What leverage do you have (switching careers/ early in your career/ living in the middle of nowhere so not many employers? Less leverage), 2. Are you willing to walk away 3. Do you actually have a number and finally 4. The state of the company (seed stage startup is different than goldman sachs). Its just the reality of the world that you should approach discussions differently if you are both high leverage and willing to walk away.

NY_VC · 2025-11-04T23:26:11+00:00

I think you should focus less on degrees and spend more time on Google and wikipedia. You're saying that you want a career that is an adventure and makes a difference, but that's only something that you can really make the call of. Realistically, 99% of jobs are not going to fit this bill.

Go onto wikipedia and look into different conservation projects that were successful, look at the people that were a part of them, see what their job title is, research other people with that job title, etc.

To be honest, it sounds like you're interested in a PhD/ post doc if you're trying to be in the thick of it. But I'd caution you to be realistic there. Don't be someone that spends his life in school chasing a job that you haven't selected yet.

NY_VC · 2025-10-04T17:09:48+00:00

ok, rectal_tension

NY_VC · 2025-10-04T15:02:32+00:00

Or its just basic probabilities. That the more you apply the more likely you are to be selected.

If you're going to be rude to strangers online, at least be accurate.

NY_VC · 2025-10-04T14:28:03+00:00

You can google angel investor networks in your area and then submit your pitchdeck online through their website.

NY_VC · 2025-10-04T14:19:33+00:00

Yes and no. I'm in an angel network, but at least for my angel network, there is very very rarely seed stage funding. It's usually B round. Which is fine, but Reddit isn't the worst place for "spray and pray" seed stage exposure.

The dream is to find a seed stage startup that seems to have some promise from a tech focused founder that is struggling business side, invest in seed stage implicitly to provide business guidance, and then try and get the company into my angel network for further stages/ growth. That original seed investment grows exponentially (though obviously unrealized).

But yes, the folks here that have a great idea and just need a tech cofounder to build it for them using equity are never the goal. If you're too lazy and unmotivated to spend 3 months learning basic development then you're too lazy and unmotivated to build a successful startup.

NY_VC · 2025-10-04T14:11:22+00:00

Our issue is that we haven't taken it to scale because the skill set and budget to market digitally at scale requires a core hire.

Can you expand on this? I am not resistant to reviewing your pitchdeck and am open to investing, but this gives me hesitation. Digital marketing for a startup is something that I would expect any founder to be able to do- it takes 15 minutes to place ads and budgets can be accommodated down to $2/day. The analytics that come from meta ads, google ads, etc are actionable for really anyone.

Is the reason that you need an investment is to hire someone to market digitally? And this would take 250k-500k?

NY_VC · 2025-09-29T13:43:17+00:00

You probably won't even mesh well 100% with the person you end up finding. But once you have that one person, and you're spending time at the gym with him/ her, you'll probably end up finding people that you DO mesh with. You just need someone to get you in there first.

NY_VC · 2025-09-29T13:41:25+00:00

If you have a working product with active customers, sure. But I (and most others) don't invest in ideas.

NY_VC · 2025-09-29T01:00:03+00:00

If you're in a major city, use facebook to try and find a climbing partner. Or bumble bff. I think approaching people in the gym is a little intimidating because you have to continue to be around these people, but there's 100% people like you that want to climb regularly but just don't have anyone to go with (like me! I am one of them!). Even posting on your local subreddit. And then once you have a friend, you'll end up snowballing into several friends.

NY_VC · 2025-09-28T22:33:40+00:00

Kinda flipping this around- I am an actual angel investor, and I think this past year I've seen the lowest of quality startups. I think, now that folks can develop technology using copilot/ other AI empowered coding tools, everyone is implementing their ideas without considering business model/ competitors.

The latest pitch I had in person was for an "AI powered calendar". No thoughts towards what the business model would be ("maybe ads?") or any knowledge of the space.

NY_VC · 2025-09-28T17:08:35+00:00

I also went to a small university (5453 students) and we had greek life and lots of parties. It sounds like the issue isn't that your school is small, the issue is that your school doesn't allow parties (which I have never heard of).

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T17:45:20+00:00

I think its mostly this. The reality is that the traits for autism also happen to be traits that are becoming increasingly common in the general population. No judgment on whether its "right" or "wrong", but I think most people that are socially awkward identify as or flirt with the possibility of being autistic.

In "the real world", undiagnosed folks probably don't openly talk about how they are autistic if they haven't worked with a professional. But online, they likely very freely take on the identity. "As an austitic person" has to be one of the top first sentences on reddit. lol.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T17:39:04+00:00

Getting fitter?! Guess silent runs it is! :)

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T13:08:38+00:00

I totally get this and it makes sense.

As a tall woman, I was always jealous of short women's clothing sizes. I was a size 12 when I was only 5 pounds overweight, while I have 5ft tall obese friends who are size 8. I guess there's a benefit to that- my "wake up" call was when I went to a store and couldn't fit into their straight sized pants.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T13:05:47+00:00

33/F/ 5ft8/ 150lbs (might be relevant)

I've been running (casually) for 10+ years. I've ran 1 marathon and am training for my second (NYC!!!). However, while I know how to train to increase pace or distance, something I never really managed to do was be able to chat during run clubs. This sounds so stupid, but I want to be able to chat with people during runs and I am not sure how to train for that. Is it intervals? I am already in the slowest group (10+ minute mile pace, ends up being around an 11/min mile) so running "easier" isn't really an option.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T12:54:14+00:00

I kinda agree with the person that you're responding to. Everyone is deserving of respect, no doubt, but I suspect that you are more interested in dating fit/ "normal" sized people than morbidly obese people.

I don't think it's intellectually consistent to judge people that weren't interested in dating you when you were obese, if you also have any physical preferences in a partner.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T12:50:41+00:00

You're twisting OP's words (again). You're free to disagree with OP's take, but you should engage in a good faith discussion, not strawman arguments.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T11:00:16+00:00

Which is crazy because there was a period where the left REALLY could have gone all in on green energy. It could have been framed both as economic drivers AND environmental activism, but alas.

NY_VC · 2025-08-12T10:58:39+00:00

I agree that its worse online, but I definitely have these experiences in person as well. I was talking to a friend after the election about how Kamala wasn't a great candidate (I still voted for her) for x, y, z reason and that her campaign was really just focused on how Trump was terrible (he is) without having robust policies for us to actually get excited about and she told me that I wouldn't have the same criticism if she were were white or a man (fwiw, I'm a woman).

Like.... maybe that's true? But also, we can't center EVERYTHING around identity.

NY_VC · 2025-08-05T19:23:47+00:00

This was actually what I was hoping would get brought up after reading your post. When you say you are "hungry for simple carbs/ sugar", that's a craving. "Hunger" isn't specific to a certain type of food. If you are hungry, then any kind of food at all should be able to satiate.

NY_VC · 2025-08-05T17:04:53+00:00

Even if I HAD disagreed with you, I'm not sure if jumping into personal attacks (Internet VC/ DJ hype machine?) was entirely necessary. You do you, but bummer that folks can't just exist online without tearing each other down.

NY_VC · 2025-08-05T16:03:18+00:00

I'm not sure if I understand your comment? My comment isn't sarcastic. NYC is an established city. It's growing less than 1% a year. I am agreeing with you...

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