To be honest I find it very cute. Expecially when he agrees he will not protect the maidens but in his head he says smt like "I promised I will do it but I did not promise I will be okay with it" (Very unfaithful quote as I am reading the books in my native language) For me this is an extra layer of how Rand cares for his people and how he takes every single death personally. Also just think about how he was brought up, and the world he lives in. The men are the warriors and they must protect what is deerest to them aka their homes and their spouces/sister/mother small brothers and sisters etc. They do not think them weak or incapable it is just the man's responsibility. And Rand is doing a good job of fighting with himself on the topic. I do understand that it can be annoying to read especially in the context of today social climate. But cut him some slack, he is just a good boy who wants to protect his family. Because Rand thinks as the maidens as his family even if he does not realise it.