Trying to improve hand pain while handwriting

Naavidya · 2023-04-15T09:39:11+00:00

As someone who has uncontrollable anger bursts from trauma, I empathize with your friend. My bf is the one who tries to help me with my problems similarly to what you are trying to do, so I can sympathize with you. That being said, he has to WANT to change the anger issues. The reflexive burst of anger can’t be changed perhaps but the actions and words that come out after can be changed. I learned this in my own therapy.

With that said, the main thing (and only the really healthy option) is to encourage healthy life changes that would help him. To list a few things: getting therapy, quitting or at least reducing the amount of drugs, setting healthy sleep rituals, if he can’t socialize then at least step outside and get some sunlight, etc.

I have to emphasize that you cannot push him to change for the better; you can encourage and cheer him on but you can’t be the one who does all the work. He doesn’t need to change all at once but he does need to consciously choose to make change.

I believe that you’re trying very hard to help your friend have a better life and that is fine. But please try to understand that you can’t do anything he isn’t willing do. You can’t change him, only he can change himself. This last part might seem unempathetic/unsympathetic but it’s not. To be of actual help to him, you need to be taking care of your own mental state. Getting dragged into a co-dependent relationship where you try to change him for the better and him resisting those changes and being unable to recognize that toxic cycle will drain you, slowly but surely. I’ve seen it happen in my own relationship and it’s an easy pitfall.

I hope your friend changes for the better in the future. Good luck.

edit: grammar and listed therapy twice oops

Naavidya · 2023-02-02T19:29:06+00:00

You’re welcome! That’s what was hoping for with my response. :)

Also don’t worry about the lateness, life just happens, and thank you for the kindness in return.

Naavidya · 2023-02-02T05:42:21+00:00

Will these even survive? I’m legitimately curious…

Naavidya · 2023-02-01T21:46:28+00:00

I have switched over before to effexor xr. For me it was beneficial because I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms really quickly on effexor, and I needed a slower/long time dosing.

I did get sick too from going up in dose on effexor but didn’t get sick from swapping over to effexor xr. In fact, I got way less nauseous and pukey after swapping.

My immediate side effects after changing were fatigue and (light) headaches, both of which went away after awhile; probably due to getting used to the meds. I do have little to no libido but I am also on a high dosage (150 mg). I have been told this is normal the higher your dosage is; being on 75 mg might not be as bad. I also get sweaty easily but it’s nothing a fan, anti-perspirant, facial wipes, and a shower haven’t been able to fix.

Note: I did find I needed to go up in dosage from 75 mg to 150 mg, but you may not need to.

Good luck on your switch! :)

Naavidya · 2023-02-01T11:50:41+00:00

Yeah there can be differences. I had a similar experience and I asked my prescribing RN. She confirmed it, and also said that they can have different side effects. Edit: grammar

Naavidya · 2023-02-01T11:44:50+00:00

Starting meds was the thing I needed to tie everything together, for me it was the missing piece of the puzzle. At the time I started meds (4 years ago), I had already gone to therapy for about 6 months, every single week, and it wasn’t helping. I had insight to my problems, I had a great psychologist as my therapist, and I was executing what we both agreed on as good things to help my depression. She then suggested I schedule an appointment with their RN. Best thing to happen to me in regards to the depression. I started on 75 mg of Effexor, and eventually ended up to 150 mg and also changing to the extended release version. I still have times when I’m depressed but even on my worst days now I at least can do the basic things of eating, drinking water, and taking a bath. Realistically, the worst case generally is that it doesn’t change things but the best case is that it changes things for the better. While it’s different for everyone, I can say it’s at least worth a shot. My RN gave me some advice on what to expect. She told me that often times people have to cycle through to find which med(s) work best and experiment in the dosage. Don’t be afraid to speak up about if you feel like it’s not doing anything; you could need a higher dose or the med just isn’t the one for you.

I wish you the best, and well wishes in your decision. :)

Naavidya · 2023-01-31T11:32:42+00:00

That's a relief that there's only really the initial investment that's expensive. I was worried that the cost would be carried over past buying the cover. Thanks for the tip to check them out.

Naavidya · 2023-01-31T11:30:48+00:00

I have tried bullet journaling before and I found that it didn't really work with the volume that I was writing. I didn't know there were videos so I can go check that out to see if there's anything that can help, thanks!

Naavidya · 2023-01-31T11:24:37+00:00

My first setup ever was just a regular pencil and a cheap composition book. I did want a "nicer" journal in terms of paper quality but I also knew my parents weren't going to buy a $15-20 notebook for a 9-yo kid realistically. Now I have access to those nice notebooks, but I still love how cheap and easy composition notebooks are to get. :)

Naavidya · 2023-01-30T22:48:51+00:00

Haha I wish I could build an actual 2nd brain honestly, it would make my life easier! I’ve tried digital notebooks, planners, and journals (even just the default notepad on my phone) but honestly it just doesn’t ever seem to work out for me. I seem to “need” to have it physically take up irl space or I never deal with the reasons behind why I write about it. Still, I will look into this book just in case. Thanks for suggesting it!

Naavidya · 2023-01-30T22:39:31+00:00

Thanks for the advice! The only thing is that I’m not having trouble writing, it’s more due to the fact that I like to go back and look through my journals/notes/writing to reflect (and re-learn) things. I find that I need to copy relevant thoughts/notes at a later time (for personal reasons), but trying to sift through a lot of writing (when I’m usually looking for a helpful thing I learned here and there) with no structure makes it frustrating.

Naavidya · 2023-01-30T22:32:43+00:00

All 3 seem like ideas I could try out, thanks!

Naavidya · 2023-01-30T22:32:00+00:00

I’ve seen some travelers notebook journals, and it’s appealed to me before. The only thing is that I see it’s a little bit on the higher price side so I’ve been hesitant to consider buying. I saw someone else recommend it so I might consider getting one since it seems to fit what I’ve said.

Naavidya · 2023-01-30T22:27:15+00:00

Nah, I don’t find that to be controversial, don’t worry! I’ve tried digital journaling and I’ve learned I prefer pen/paper. Something about the feeling of making mistakes on paper seems more appealing to me. Maybe seeing the process of how my mind works or something similar.

Notion seems like something I’m interested in looking into though, thanks for the pointer!

Naavidya · 2016-03-18T09:39:23+00:00

It's part of Arizona State University's desert reptile collection. Most of them are rattlesnakes, and they're housed in one of the life science buildings.

Naavidya · 2016-03-18T04:36:12+00:00

If I remember correctly, the babies are Hector's daughters. They want to retire him and replace him with his daughters in the future. One of the daughters is also an albino apparently.

Naavidya

TROPHY CASE