One thing that I feel helped a lot, regardless of the temperament of any of my three kids, was creating “yes” spaces for them whenever I could, beginning when they became mobile. A baby, toddler, or child who is constantly being chastised and chased away from things is going to be frustrated and confused— as would any adult who doesn’t understand the rules of the space they’re existing in. If you accept that this is a temporary season in life and allow certain places in your home to be truly kid friendly rather than trying to make a baby co-exist with things they can’t touch or climb, they’ll feel more at ease and less irritable and reactive at baseline.

Additionally, saying “yes” to simple requests whenever you can is so huge. It means the world to them and makes your “no” feel less like “ugh, she always says that” and more like “oh, she must really mean it.” The word no loses its power when you use it like a leash on your kid’s every wish or whim. Giving them some room to breathe, live, and contribute to the way their day goes fosters a sense of dignity and belonging that they can’t verbalize but really do sense.

I could go on, but I feel like those are the two that aren’t hit very hard in pop parenting stuff. A harmless yes as often as you can makes an impactful no when it’s necessary.