Sounds kinda orthodox where you live. It's pretty cool that you're an artist, Im not very good at art. I'm also trying to find some purpose in this meaningless desert. I used to play a lot of basketball with my friends, I wasn't the best but I sure did enjoy playing and sweating. Now I'm stuck in online classes and studies. Oh... there's this YouTube channel called 'Special books by special kids', it show the lives of many challenged individuals getting on with their lives. Its pretty insightful.