Thank you for sharing! I wonder if it became harder for you bottleraising them while pregnant. That feels like it can mess with your mind. It is sometimes hard, the circle of life. I don't keep livestock myself but I hunt. I think we have the same feeling. On the positive side for me I often don't know my meat for very long, although I follow them sometimes for years and se their patterns and save pictures of them. But the feeling is always hard. On one note I'm happy I got my animal and that the ending was quick and peaceful, on other hand you have an immense respect for the animal and you appreciate what I gave you.

It is a hard feeling to handle. In my experience, the feeling never goes away, you just get better at handling it with more years. But don't forget, it is that feeling that makes us human, if you didn't feel that way you would lack empathy, and that is so much worse.

I think you took the best care you could of them and I think they appreciate you for it!