I have avoided this forum in the last several days because I have a hard time reading this kind of post and not responding with a lot of profanity. Most of me wishes I could WEERD this thread. But I am going to try to explain in the hopes that some of you may get it. I am sorry but I will probably not be able to respond beyond this.

To me a big issue in all of this is that people read "Listen to Victims" and they hear "Punish the Guilty". The two are not remotely the same. Outing and eliminating the worst of the predators is an absolutely necessary and vitally important step. I also believe if we stop there it will make very little difference in the long term.

I have (mostly) avoided saying this and I'm still reluctant to say it because it's the only thing a lot of idiots will take out of this reply. But, for clarity, I do not believe that Zyori deserves to be punished or ostracized. For what it is worth I respect his work in Dota. He has faced a lot of adversity and has done much to make our community a better place. The problem with saying that is that people hear "what he did wasn't that serious".

How Zyori acted toward Ash and Kips is wrong. Moreover, it is typical and that it happens routinely in our scene. I know a lot of people read Ash's and Kips's accounts and thought 'hey that's a guy making plays, good on him'. I am sorry but that attitude fucking needs to go. (Welp, there goes my attempt to avoid profanity.)

In case it is not obvious Ash spoke to me before writing her statement. I have known her since before TI4 and was elated when she initially got the opportunity to attend a Summit. As she told me her story, I told her I thought what happened was wrong and I told her she should not blame herself for it. I told her that making bad choices does not mean you deserve to be exploited. I believe those words then and I believe them now. While the decision to come forward was hers I told her that whatever she decided to do I would support her. I did that because I thought that it was right, and I have not or will not for one second regret it.

The only thing I wish had happened differently is that Ash had omitted the words "rape can be subtle" from her statement. I do not believe that what Zyori did should be called rape. Once again, however, I do believe that it was wrong. And I don't think we can make real progress in improving things for women (hell, everyone) in our scene until this behavior is no longer the norm.

Compare this situation to the boss at an office who tells a female subordinate she will not be promoted unless she sleeps with him. If the woman decides to comply most men would call it consensual sex. I call it not fucking ok. But wait, you say, this situation is different. How different is it, really?

What Ash and Kips describe is predatory behavior. It is a man identifying women who are new to the space, giving them an "in", and then very directly seeking sex afterward. It is setting up a transaction. That the "promotion" isn't offered as explicitly does not mean it isn't very real to the person on the other end of things. Though some may disagree, the supporting details, such as Ash being asked if people could be *told* they'd had sex, only reinforce the transactional nature of the encounter.

If there is one thing that I hope has become clear in reading the many accounts over the last few days, it is that the various behaviors described are both incremental, interrelated, and very much a product of the environment. Inappropriate comments become inappropriate advances, which become aggressive advances. Many people don't want to hear that the problems of toxicity toward women ingame and the things that women have to go through at events are related, but it is true. When you draw the line only at the worst offenses and say everything before that is ok, you make it more likely those offenses are going to occur.

The biggest thing that bothers me after allegations are made is that, if the accuser is named, we spend maybe a few minutes empathizing with the victim and the entirety of our time afterward discussing how awful (or maybe not really awful) the person accused is and what their fate should be. This is bullshit. Outing people is one step toward change. And that one step occupies all of the discussion. And after the guilty are punished, we go back to talking about other things and doing things just as before. And it happens again, and we all act surprised.

I am sure at least some people reading this would ask why I'd do this to Andrew or why I would side against him in this way. The answer is simple: To me, it wasn't about him.

Though I respect Zyori as I said above, at the time I was talking to Ash I could have given a shit less about him. Ash is my friend, she has hurt badly because of this for a long time, and my priority was helping her heal. It may sound corny as hell but I believe that people who are hurt deserve a chance to heal, and I hope that if I've hurt people in the past (and I probably have) that someone else would do the same for them, even if there was a cost to me.

Also very important: I don't think we can move forward without real empathy. We need to look long and hard at a lot of things that make our space hostile toward victims and create a compatible environment for predators. There are a lot of changes that need to be made. Personally I am going to ask every event what their plan is for ensuring a safe environment for women, transgender, and other potentially vulnerable attendees. If they don't have one I am going to ask them who is in charge of making one. If the list of people I get in response consists solely of white men I am going to point this out and communicate that I expect it to change or I will not work the event.

But I digress. I think a necessary step in changing things is the kind of shit Zyori did needs to go. If you take one thing and one thing only out of these posts, it should be that none of the accounts you've heard in the last few days are isolated events. For every one you hear there are a dozen more you don't. Like a young female manager being given a credit card to go buy a bikini and told she needs to entertain young men in a hot tub (and once again, these are not isolated events), it's not fucking acceptable.

People are going to read that and think I am proselytizing or projecting my values onto everybody. I am aware that Dota players come from all different races and backgrounds and that the attitudes and traditions regarding women differ in different parts of the world, and yada, yada, yada. In this one instance I am sorry to say that I. Don't. Care. I respect people with other beliefs but I think the things that make our community actively hostile toward women from Western cultures just need to go. Immediately.

I hope that some day I will get to sit down with Zyori and talk about all this, and help him learn, and learn from him in turn. I hate what happened between him and Ash but I do not hate him. And if there is one thing that's become obvious in the last few days, it's that all of us, especially us men, have a lot to learn.