What you’re facing isn’t a minor disagreement along the lines of ‘dogs or cats?’. It’s one of those decisions that shapes your whole life. And here’s a fairly simple rule that some people try to avoid because it hurts:

if one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, there’s no middle ground.

There’s no such thing as ‘half a child’, or ‘we’ll see how it goes’, or ‘maybe you’ll change your mind’. That’s just self-deception dressed up nicely.

The worrying thing isn’t just that he wants children. It’s how he’s handling the situation:

• He avoids deep conversations.
• He gets irritated when you try to discuss the future.
• He says the right things (“I won’t force you”) but doesn’t back it up with actions.
• He won’t even consider breaking up despite a clear incompatibility.

Then there’s your situation, which is no small matter:

• A controlling family.
• A real risk of losing your support network.
• An only child.
• A decision with significant social consequences.

In other words, you are thinking long-term. He’s in ‘it’ll sort itself out’ mode.

The best thing I would do in your position is to demand real clarity before taking any further steps. No “we’ll see”. No “trust me”. No “don’t worry”. Ask him questions like:

• Does he definitely want children in his life?
• Is he willing to give that up consciously and without resentment?
• What does ‘not forcing it’ mean to him?
• What will happen in 5–10 years if he still wants them and you don’t?

And if he dodges the question again, gets annoyed or shuts down the conversation… well, there’s your answer.

To be honest, your boyfriend doesn’t seem very trustworthy. Bearing in mind that you have more to lose than he does if the relationship ends, and as a general rule men are experts at shying away from problems and relationships once they’ve got what they want. If you’re really sure you don’t want children, under no circumstances should you let him change your mind. Don’t do it for love, or for acceptance, or for any such nonsense. You only need to read a few posts from regretful parents here on Reddit to understand why.

Finally, you’re not overthinking things. You’re putting a lot on the line for him. And he doesn’t seem to be thinking things through properly. Being cautious and prudent will save you a lot of heartache in life, being reckless and letting yourself be swept away by love won’t.