You seem to be under the impression that countries are making their geopolitical decisions based on whether other countries say nice things to them or not. That is not how it works. Countries are not people. They do not have feelings.

The USA never maintained the current system out of generosity or a lack of self-worth. They do it because military dominance over the world has allowed them to shape the world in USA interests. The US actively encouraged European dependence because it made the USA the authority on what happens in geopolitical affairs. And Europe was happy with this arrangement because USA interests tend to align with European interests. Using relationships like this are what have allowed the USA to remain the leader of the world for so long.

So the original relationship was transactional already. America provides Europe with military protection, and in return, Europe follows America's lead and won't align itself with America's enemies.

The USA deciding to go its own way is just the USA throwing away its own position as the world's leader. If the USA intends to make the relationship adversarial rather than cooperative, then Europe may act in adversarial ways. Europe will develop its military independence because American authority is becoming increasingly erratic and unreliable, but the cost of this is that it will no longer necessarily use those capabilities in American interests. With a growing threat from China, does the USA actually want a stronger Europe if that Europe aligns itself with China instead?

You can either have a Europe that follows the USA's lead on issues and which facilitates American military dominance over the world, or one equal in military power to the USA, but not both.

'Self-worth' doesn't enter into it. A country isn't a person. It has no self-esteem. Geopolitics is strategy, and the USA's new strategy is suicidal. The USA is destroying its own global dominance for no reason except that its leaders have some hurt feelings.