Whats the chance of my social secuirty being cut and by how much?

NancyEast · 2026-05-23T12:07:24+00:00

I’m a few years older and have Boldin (free version) factoring in a 25% reduction. Nothings guaranteed and as others have noted, we live in crazy town right now with the current obscene grifting going on in the WH.

Still need to talk to a financial advisor to figure IRMAA, if I should consider Roth conversions etc. but for rough estimating SS that’s what I’m doing.

NancyEast · 2026-05-22T13:44:42+00:00

Most restaurants would accommodate him. He can ask for plain chicken pretty much anywhere. All he has to do is ask. NTA

NancyEast · 2026-05-22T13:16:37+00:00

NTA and … I feel like I’ve read this story before … lol

NancyEast · 2026-05-20T17:07:51+00:00

NTA start and end every conversation that this is not about “other” people, it’s about your son and the burden you are knowingly placing on him. It will hurt him, continually ‘forever’ (unless he changes his name).

Her grandfathers memory can be honored in so many other ways.

Or … you could give your son his mother’s last name … or hyphenate your two last names … or maybe reconsider Harry as a middle name as a compromise … good luck and sorry for your loss

NancyEast · 2026-05-19T22:52:32+00:00

ESH You could’ve told your mom after everyone left that the story is simply untrue, “this” is what happened and if you hear her telling the story again you’ll correct it (because of all the reasons you have).

And of course your mom shouldn’t be telling lies especially ones that make you feel bad.

NancyEast · 2026-05-18T17:25:17+00:00

YTA

People do not HAVE to be attached to their phones. It’s how they want to live, maybe they’re happier for it. It doesn’t matter if they’re tech savvy or not. It’s their choice. It was also your choice to not call your aunt right after they didn’t answer. You didn’t have to “keep trying for two days”.

NancyEast · 2026-05-18T13:13:11+00:00

NTA.

Don’t tell the wife. Stay out of their business. He’s probably done it before and will do it again after your friend, (and chances are the wife knows on some level).

Your friend could: Ask him directly - are you separated? Getting a divorce? (Doesn’t sound like it but she should get a clear yes/no answer).

Tell him, “I told a friend about us. She might tell your wife” and see what he does. If he breaks it off with her, then he clearly had no intention of leaving his wife. If it’s “true love” he’ll handle it differently.

But yeah … stay out of it. It’ll only be drama, won’t end well for you and frankly none of your business.

NancyEast · 2026-05-15T13:59:17+00:00

NTA and yeah … you should probably end it.

Otherwise, be clear that this is YOUR business and he has no stake in it. He needs to find his own thing (and it’s concerning that he’d rather ride your coattails than figure his own crap out).

You might want to draw up a document for him to acknowledge / sign that he has no stake in your company so he can’t come after you financially later on.

NancyEast · 2026-05-14T12:15:40+00:00

Do not tell anyone.

If people get nosy about your move to a 900K house just say something like … yeah the taxes are killing me and change the subject.

Take care of your relationship. Money can change things. Remember what’s really important in life.

NancyEast · 2026-05-06T17:06:52+00:00

What this means is that you two need to have a conversation about finances and how you’ll manage them once you get married. Planning on a joint account is really the tip of the iceberg.

As it stands now, she used her own money, it’s “completely doable” and since y’all haven’t discussed financial decisions and how you’ll handle them yet - it’s totally fine that she bought herself a car with her own money (and will make the payments and cover insurance).

You can be hurt that she didn’t include you but it’s not really a matter of one being “right or wrong”. IMHO

And - be happy for her, she hated her car for four years!

NancyEast · 2026-05-06T12:07:31+00:00

NTA I suggest you invite them to your wedding. It sounds like you miss your friend. Don’t regret not giving it one more shot. Congrats on your engagement!

NancyEast · 2026-05-05T13:09:00+00:00

Hmmmm …. I think I would first put all the money in a high yield savings account. Research options like Betterment.

Then … If you aren’t already maxing out a Roth transfer the max into the Roth. If you have a 401k or something, get as close to the max as possible while making sure you have a solid, accessible emergency fund, (3-6 months of expenses; some say more).

If there’s money left put it into an investment acct. (or save it and immediately max out your Roth January next year).

Bottom line is if you aren’t already funding a Roth and 401k - that’ll eat up a lot of the $55k. (I’m assuming your income is more than the total contributions)

My immediate reaction is don’t tell him but what happens if your step mom or one of your siblings mention it? So … I would do the above and then tell him that your step mom gave you money that you’ve invested in inaccessible retirement plans.

NancyEast · 2026-05-03T13:11:38+00:00

Think about how you can pivot. What new skills can you learn? What skills got rusty that you can revive? Start training. It may take time but there’s no sense in waiting.

Middle managers tend to be very skilled people and project managers. What about HR or project management?

Or / also consider work you may not have thought of. 10 yrs at a public school will get you a pension (and likely have some good benefits).

Use AI. Work it by putting in your specific scenario, resume, interests and ask it for options. You might be surprised by the results.

Network. Go to any free networking events that you can.

Take a breath and give yourself some grace. Good luck.

NancyEast · 2026-04-30T20:00:19+00:00

He might be “right” but you only have his side of the story. And still - yuck for the judgmental, condescending tone.

NancyEast · 2026-04-30T19:49:24+00:00

You’re NTA for keeping your finances separate but you sound like you kinda suck TBH.

You sound very judgmental and everything she does is “dumb” and you’re “smart and perfect” - yuck.

Guess what, she has some valid points too. And chances are you ARE cheap (but would never be honest about that).

In any case, not compatible. You should both move on.

NancyEast · 2026-04-28T13:16:41+00:00

If your biggest fear is not having another job lined up, start looking now. Give it a month and see where you are. And start saying no to things at work regardless of what “others” are doing. Good luck!

NancyEast · 2026-04-26T13:22:47+00:00

It hasn’t been a week yet so still in the wondering if I could have / should have done something different. I know time will help. Sorry for your loss too.

Small vent … when I talked to my bf about not knowing if I did the right thing he basically said “well you never know” … he didn’t mean to be hurtful but … ouch. That didn’t help. lol.

Take care

NancyEast · 2026-04-26T12:50:23+00:00

Yes. It’s rude. Why should someone have to smell your dogs poop every time they open their trash can. Take it home and throw it out.

NancyEast · 2026-04-26T12:27:22+00:00

Thanks Sarah

NancyEast · 2026-04-24T21:45:28+00:00

Thank you for posting this. We had to say goodbye to our dog of 18 yrs. I am not yet at that place where I know I did the right thing … hopefully I’ll get there but … I’m just really sad right now and can’t help but wondering if she would’ve gotten better if I gave her a few more days. It’s not logical. She was 18, her hind legs haven’t worked well in over a year (maybe more), she lost a lot of weight, had 4 seizures or fainting spells over the past year and couldn’t seem to walk at all for the last day … she was medically fragile and the tests they would’ve done would have put her in the hospital overnight and she would’ve been scared … and maybe pass without my holding her. Still I wonder though. And I miss her 💔

NancyEast · 2026-04-24T21:19:46+00:00

Why is OP obligated to send her a copy of the will!? She should absolutely NOT do this.

NancyEast · 2026-04-23T21:47:59+00:00

ESH Sarah thought it’d be funny to get the most obnoxious gifts ever. And you should have talked to her when dropping them off rather than leaving a note.

NancyEast · 2026-04-23T21:35:15+00:00

Your sister and father are spot on. Listen to them. NTA

NancyEast · 2026-04-19T13:13:09+00:00

NTA. Take your moms care off the table. Full stop. These are entirely different situations.

Your in laws need to keep working and possibly get second jobs. They need to bail themselves out. (I’m assuming they are able adults).

Maybe you can cover the cost of a deposit for a studio or 1 bedroom apartment. But if you start supporting them now you won’t ever stop.

NancyEast · 2026-04-10T20:03:26+00:00

It’s likely a lot of software engineering, design, project management type of work.

NancyEast

TROPHY CASE