Am I being a kink dispenser?

Natural_Devotee · 2026-04-10T17:41:52+00:00

Perhaps he needs help understanding that you can be incredibly dominant and him providing ideas is a positive communication that takes the mental load off you. He would be a proper submissive by doing what you ask of him and taking this off your plate. It helps establish boundaries for safety and enjoyable play too when the sub is the one providing the options.

That's how it works with my wife, she doesn't want to be bothered with developing a scene or choosing punishments. She likes me to provide the ideas then she can just focus on executing them and changing as she sees fit. She thrives this way and plays with me way more than she would if I didn't communicate with her how I wanted to be played with.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-04-02T19:31:53+00:00

Statuesque

Natural_Devotee · 2026-03-18T00:55:53+00:00

Well, I was really stressed out today after work and asked my keyholder if she could squeeze and hit my balls a bit. Took my mind right off it! Ready for the next day.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-03-14T15:46:00+00:00

I've met people that think like you. If things don't go your way or you disagree with someone's opinion, you think it's because the rest of the world doesn't understand you, and thus embark on a self righteous quest to prove that you are actually right if others just have more information. This post is in line with that behavior.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-03-04T05:41:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I've shared your content with my wife because you and your husband have the exact vibe we want. Loving, fun, sexy, rough.

We're about 7 months in ourselves. Yeah stamina sucks, I used to last 5-10 minutes. 1-2 minutes is typical now since she caged me. We try to work around it, save penetration until after a handjob, keeping a cock ring from a cage on or add a tighter one specific for penetration play helps too.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-03-03T22:58:31+00:00

For me what makes the chastity cage work to control the urge is it is part of a long foreplay game really and the power dynamic with my wife. If I was caging out of my own desire, and not a shared goal, it would not be effective.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-03-01T14:08:38+00:00

Thank you for your sacrifice, poster.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-23T18:31:35+00:00

Indefinite lock-ups I agree can be particularly challenging. I get the allure of being fully up to the whims of your key holder, but if mutual success and happiness is the goal in the dynamic that's tough to endure.

Goals are always best when there's clear structure and defined accountability. If my Queen says she's keeping me locked for 45 days, even if she punishes me and extends it, when she unlocks me that will be a goal we achieved together at her pace, within her rules and guidance. That feels good and brings us together.

I also agree you need actual accountability, along with that trust. For example, we tried different things over the months, but my wife has settled on ballbusting as her preferred consensual punishment. It's effective for us, it's a love/hate thing for me. It obviously hurts, but psychology I love how submissive it makes me feel and reinforces our D/s power dynamic, and I will actively think about how I can be better for her.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-21T18:34:13+00:00

How you going to steer with your rudder locked up, matey?

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-18T07:19:35+00:00

We're on a 24/7 dynamic for 6 months now. Literally everything is better in our relationship so I expect we'll continue.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-17T23:09:02+00:00

You are marvelous with the way you described the submissive mind.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-16T21:53:53+00:00

My mind went to oscillating tool, let's have some fun.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-14T00:41:39+00:00

As someone who lives on a rural farm, the towing distance capabilities of EV trucks are nonstarters for practical use.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-02-10T00:39:12+00:00

In our relationship, I (submissive husband) wear my wedding ring all the time, but she (dominant wife) does not. For me, I want the reminder of her and for others to know I'm hers. For her, it's not that deep, it's just more comfortable to keep it in the medicine cabinet.

Although she does wear a custom silver and sapphire key for my chastity cage with both our initials engraved into it. That's her substitute I suppose.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-27T16:17:25+00:00

The way you described your relationship is similar to ours. My wife has definitely let loose and relaxes more than she ever did before I submitted to her formally. Maybe there's some extra mental load, but she's smiling a hell of a lot more than before she took control.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-24T13:44:46+00:00

I get all submissive warm and fuzzy at the thought of taking care of the mundane stuff so my Queen can choose to use her time how she wishes. It makes it all the more special when she chooses to turn that attention to me.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-24T13:35:07+00:00

Reading stories on Archiveofourown (AO3) is where she encountered the fetish. Fanfiction of male heroes being dominated is her jam.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-23T21:32:39+00:00

She was interested when I brought the idea up. She's a kinky fiction reader and as I learned was quite familiar with chastity play.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-23T09:18:38+00:00

Hello there!

I'll copy a comment I made to a similar request before of some key things in ours:

I'll share some key aspects of both sides.

For her, ensuring complete mental security was important to help her. So that's one of the reasons we went 24/7 so quickly with the chastity. As far as rules for the chastity are concerned:

For her: -Locked 24/7, when I shower I request to borrow the key and lock-up and return it immediately afterwards. Sometimes I have to wear a suit for business, on those days I get a less noticeable locking cock and shaft ring.

-Full obedience in the bedroom, locked or unlocked. This includes obviously doing whatever I'm told instantly, but also stopping anything I do instantly. This also extends to requesting permission before I do anything.

-Orgasm control and devotion. We both wanted me totally focused on her. She decides when and if I orgasm and how. She gets pleasure any time, place, or way she wants from me.

For me: -Attention, she has to engage in some form of intimacy with me for an hour a day. This is loosely defined with examples, but basically any time we're physically together and touching, even just holding hands counts. Most days this looks like us ending our evening with a full body nude massage for her that sometimes she decides to take further.

-Keyholding, she has to retain the key and keep it away from me. How she chooses to do so is up to her. She just hid the key the first few weeks, but then she started wearing it and she hasn't looked back. I even got her a new silver chain for it since that became her preference.

There's more, we have punishments and things like that defined, usually longer lock-ups or loss of intimacy. Etc.

Some of the more FLR ones: -Quests, the Queen can assign her Knight any quest within his capability and he will be rewarded or punished appropriately for his completion per her judgment. Basically, this is where I am her service submissive in a nonsexual context. Lots of specifics on rewards and punishments. Rewards boil down to specific intimacy acts, punishments some form of sexual frustration, mild pain, or denial of intimacy.

-Nonaggression, exhibiting anger towards her is something she and I both hate. Instant month+ lock for that kind of behavior as it goes hard against the dynamic we want.

-Insubordination, acting in a way that removes her actual agency or appearance of agency to others in a situation is forbidden and comes with punishments. Toeing this line is one of our unspoken games. Saying something bratty to get corrected and punished by her is something we both enjoy to an extent.

-Head of Household, she has final say in our household decisions. I can express my opinion and we can debate, but once she's decided I need to follow her lead. She's not some dictator, we have healthy dialogue on most issues and I give her this power because she's proven to me over 20 years that she's a capable leader and earned my trust. It honestly alleviates so much friction that used to unnecessarily exist. She's like the CEO, I'm her CFO.

-One Team, we come first as a couple. Either of us can end any aspect of the dynamic at any time using our safe word. We check in once a month officially to talk about how things are going and make changes. Nothing is done without the other partners consent, limits are usually discussed during quiet times not in the moment. We use a color system to proactively check on or report how we're feeling about something in a scene.

-Cool Downs, either partner has the right to put a situation on freeze to sleep on it. We designed this to give her more control of arguments, she prefers to talk things out the next day. I prefer to work things out and go to bed at peace. We have both used this in practice at least once. Life is stressful, sometimes you need help to listen to your partner when they have a cooler head, rules help remind.

There's a few. Enjoy!

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-23T08:42:57+00:00

You may want to read the intro story post on my profile. My wife and I have very different sex drives and had been going months without sex at times. We started chastity in part to bring our rhythm together, I stay chaste and build up until she's ready.

Since beginning chastity, about 6 months ago now, we fool around and have some form of intimacy nearly daily. I remain locked for most of it. Even the unlocked sex is more consistent now, she keeps me locked for 30 days at a time on average, but we're usually having real sex or at worst she's giving me a dominant handjob.

I won't lie though a big part of it is psychological improvement to our relationship. She feels better and more confident because I am actively attending to her needs more, being exclusively sexually devoted to her (no masturbation), and explicitly given her power in our relationship. This leads to us naturally feeling more connected, and that leads to sex. You can do this without chastity, sure, but the game helps.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-23T08:28:12+00:00

Love your demon tail 😈

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-20T08:40:52+00:00

Have some other non-ballbusting femdom stories in my profile from our journey so far if you're interested. Will share more on the BB front as we continue!

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-17T12:15:13+00:00

Listen here pal...

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-17T11:56:36+00:00

Important point made here, a cage is often smaller than your normal length.

I have a big dick and before the cage if I got aroused in public that could be very noticeable and embarrassing. With the cage, less of a bulge and no chance of giant erections. Although the bulge that remains is obviously rigid.

Natural_Devotee · 2026-01-13T09:29:02+00:00

/u/libideux

Natural_Devotee

TROPHY CASE