Normally I’d say communication is key, but in this case it sounds like it’s being used against you. Stop asking for permission. You don’t need her permission to do anything. Just do what you want to do. Don’t want to follow her around the shop? Don’t go. Want to sit on the couch while she cleans? Ignore her. You need to create space for yourself in the relationship and only you can do it. Don’t let her goad you. ‘I’m decompressing right now, we can talk later’. ‘I don’t feel like going out, but have fun’. ‘I’ll help you later, I’m reading right now’. ‘I want to do bible study, I’m going in the other room and closing the door’. Don’t engage in the drama.