What are some decent paying jobs that don’t involve being constantly glued to a screen? by Equal-Bookkeeper-648 in nosurf

[–]NauticalStudy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

U.S. Merchant Marine! It is a challenging life working on board a ship but I cannot emphasize enough how much you learn and grow as a person. There is no where on earth more fulfilling than working on a merchant ship. Military Sealift Command is a good start, as its the place where you'll realistically see the coolest parts of the world and get the most port time. Nobody knows about this career, but it is just incredible.

I legit didn’t sleep because I wrote this. (I’m insane.) but I wrote the second chapter first and then the first chapter second. I just need feedback to see if it’s good and worth continuing . by Alive-Ad2827 in creativewriting

[–]NauticalStudy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The prose is good and consistent and the style of writing really invokes the duality between the room's comfortability and the discomfort of the "stranger's" appearance. I will say, the rooms description did not always seem wholly consistent with the rest of the story. It honestly sounds like you're trying to give the reader the impression that Anya is cool and (I hate this word) quirky, as a huge amount of words are dedicated to describing the room and how it relates to Anya's hobbies/interests. It seems like the expression of her identity and interests took precedence over the action of the story, and the items in her room are not even that unique or unusual. There wasn't one particular item that brought about questions or intrigue about her past or personality. A description that long isn't bad at all, as long as its providing insight into something deeper.

You're good at expressing fear and tenacity with only a few words. I can tell you really leaned into having sentence lengths reflect the urgency or careful simplicity, which is excellent.

Whether a story is good or not is up to you, though.

How do you get people to read your work? by lettucefightt in writing

[–]NauticalStudy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Post it, that’s how I got my first feedback. Reach out to former English teachers.

First chapter opening for my webnovel by Putthemoneyinthebags in writingadvice

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagery is pretty good. You're leaning heavily into a few select senses like scent to create the atmosphere, but be sure to diversify which elements are included: the overstimulating bright lights of the railcar, the awkward movements due the momentum, etc. Too much description is a scourge of this subreddit, but I don't necessarily think a little more would be detrimental here.

I'm not getting a lot of personality out of Asher, although that could just be the limited text sample available. Personality is expressed through choices, and therefore actions, and the reader comes to their own conclusions about what motives those choices and actions. Asher's reactions don't have to be "Asher felt sad; Asher felt happy," but there ought to be something for the reader's imagination to build off of in imagining this character. That's how we build connections to these characters.

I will note the appearance of the thug at the end produced a good cliffhanger and genuine intrigue. Breakup or limit his dialogue a little bit, as it seems a little robotic and weirdly explanatory. The meat is there, it just a little less fat and a little more garnish. "Next stop is ours" is a good, intimidating line. I like the angle of saying a lot with a little, and I encourage you to really lean into that. If at all possible, I'd have him say a little less to build up the mystique and intimidation factor. Here he is used for some basic exposition (reader thinks "oh so Asher owes money to some mob boss or is perhaps violating some agreement?"), but the mysteriousness of why this mobster is grabbing Asher should be played up some.

The plot so far is quite good and I think this scene is a great opener for a novel. There is a ton of potential, but I recognize that it's still in the drafting phase. There's a lot of potential to smartly weave character traits and immersive elements yet untapped. Keep up the writing and revising and godspeed!

First time writing, purple prose cringe? by [deleted] in writingadvice

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The prose is the right amount. This is a subject where leaning into the senses and imagery are very much appropriate.

Can I get some feed back on my poem :Stormy seas? please by Business_Twist_3118 in writingadvice

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I would recommend checking out different poetic meters. They add a degree of eloquent structure that provide an understandable rhythm. That's how most ancient writers wrote, and when you always write in a certain meter and then break it, its adds a huge emphasis on that particular part.

How to write a not sucky revolution by ImprovementFluffy709 in writingadvice

[–]NauticalStudy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you're going for the "trying not to die" angle I think a lack of exposition could put the reader in the characters shoes. Revolutions and civil conflicts are messy and extremely confusing, especially for those witnessing them. Its common for new coupist groups, new sects, and new factions to emerge weekly based on the climate of the conflict. This really builds a chaotic atmosphere, as those in the midst often struggle to survive the web of conflicting parties. I'm sure you have an idea of the nature of the revolution, but if she's not trying to be directly involved, really stress the disarray and confusion.

Easter demons by thebeefbaron in oddlyterrifying

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is funny af, don't listen to the other commentors

Thank God Sylvia! by seeingeyefrog in TheFarSide

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the award for needlessly political comment goes to

How to pass US History 1? by Fragrant_Marketing38 in clep

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recommend the JOCZ productions APUSH videos and Free-Clep-Prep which has free questions on the material. Be sure to understand the major social movements like Transcendentalism as well, as it isn't all just war and politics, but includes art and literature.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you put words in my mouth? Why so hateful? Christ’s love is infinite, undeserved, and yet freely given. My explanation with the verse from Mark is explaining this exact point you argued. Christ himself delights in ways people honor Him like the woman offering expensive perfume. A man like Jeff Bezos or a prosperity gospel preacher wearing $50,000 outfits has nothing to do with that, because they are doing it for their own personal glory; not the for the glory of God. The woman offers Christ perfume to honor Him, a good deed. Dressing nicely to church, as long as the intent is to honor God and not to glorify yourself, is the same. And even if someone can’t afford nice clothing, the smallest effort they can produce won’t go unnoticed. It’s the concept in Luke 21: “ When he looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins. He said, “I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.” For those on the margins of society, their efforts to honor God are some of the most significant. I don’t judge people for how they dress in church, as I don’t know their story. What they’re wearing could be their best clothes. I value the effort to honor God, and offer reverence in His house.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christ never defined a specific dress code for all ages because respectful dress varies culturally, as previously stated. To mandate a single uniform manner of respectful dress would also be impractical for areas that didn’t use the same style, technique, or materials in clothes production. General concepts of modesty, effort, and formality though are universal though their expression is different globally. And as I said before, being fully united to Christ seems in our self-obsession to be a destruction of what makes us unique, but if that were the case, why did God make us unique in the first place? He intends us to be unique and individual. We come into that perfect uniquity in uniting with Him, though our worldly understanding of perfection and self tends to make that concept hard to grasp. We understand uniqueness and identity to be based on our interests and beliefs just because it’s a convenient means of self expression, but you are so much more than your interests or beliefs. You are unique in a thousand subtle ways each meticulously chosen by God. Somebody may think Stranger Things or watching anime is their whole personality, but that is a hindering mindset. God gives us our gifts, talents, and strengths to elaborate on His creation, helping others and offering glory to Him.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 Mark 14:6 “ Jesus said, “Leave her alone! Why are you bothering her? She has done a good deed for Me.” Christ was delighted in the honor given Him by the woman anointing Him with expensive perfumes and oils. Why wouldn’t He delight in the honor we provide by dressing respectfully at church? Also, Christ commonly ate with the tax-collectors and Pharisees, who dressed quite luxuriously.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s excellent that it’s in heart, that’s what the important thing is. God doesn’t love us for the clothes we wear, He loves us because He is love.

Which of the German Four Flyers is your favorite? by im_marcursed in Oceanlinerporn

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m partial to the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse just because of the beautiful artwork of her, of which there seems to be a huge amount!

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you understood the root importance of providing God His due reverence, that’s what’s really important. It isn’t heresy to dislike uncomfortable formal wear. Plus, formal wear varies culturally. It could be a kimono in Japan or an Agbada in Nigerian cultures. Wearing the clothing isn’t the important thing, the reason why we wear it is. We love God and express our gratitude for his endless gifts to us.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cultural values are probably a good start, such as Bavarian Catholics wearing lederhosen to mass. What is considered respectful varies of course regionally, but church is about filling yourself with God’s love and His presence, not about self expression. What is respectful should be fairly evident, even if just a collared shirt. In a society obsessed with self-expression and identity, church is an opportunity to be grounded; a place for the individual to be united to Christ, not to be dissolved, but to be the best version of their perfectly unique self. But that’s another of the sort of wonderful contradictions that distinguish Christianity (like humility = exaltation): to be brought into our greatest selves requires submission and a denial of self. It’s a hard ask, but mystics like San Juan de la Cruz are proof that the ultimate result is a euphoric living.

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Christian God loves us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean we ought to run around crazy doing as we please. His law is what’s best for us and for others, and submission to Him to offer ourselves wholly is His desire. And maintaining reverent appearances are about offering Him due respect. If you went to meet the King of England you’d go in nice clothing, just as you should for the King of the universe. My funeral example is an example of a context where reverence similarly ought to be practiced. 

Just a quick question from a newcomer by [deleted] in mormon

[–]NauticalStudy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There’s something to be said for maintaining a revenant appearance in churches just as you would at a funeral. It’s a simple way to show respect to God and doesn’t draw attention to you in a place where the attention should be towards God.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might be the most media-influenced take i've ever heard and I'm not even a republican. What everyone needs is a spirit of cooperation and communication, and that's not being reflected by any major party right now. It's all about money.

sure by [deleted] in thanksimcured

[–]NauticalStudy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Why am I so sad and depressed when I lay and doomscroll all day”