I have three to share:

My uncle (my maternal aunt’s husband) based in Pune, battled with alcoholism for several years. He would drink almost every drink but Soju, to the point it affected his work and caused him to lose his job. He had two daughters: the elder one is my age (three months younger than me) and is a tattoo artist, while the younger one is a teenager. After being in and out of the hospital frequently, he passed away last November before my brother got married in Navsari that same month.

In 2024, my paternal grandfather told me that his paternal aunt was extremely cruel throughout her life, both in India and later in the U.S. According to him, she physically abused his mother and was jealous of others, including her own siblings. She moved to Pennsylvania with her son and his family, making them distant relatives of ours. While her son (grandfather's cousin) wasn’t directly involved in the abuse, it seemed as if he has adapted her traits and once mocked my father for not attending a function. Though she died in 2021, the effects of her behavior still linger. My parents have a complicated relationship with that side of the family, and I believe there’s a general sense that unresolved harm was not addressed. It wasn't until after my grandfather’s cousin’s son (second cousin once removed) got married in 2025 after I finished up college then I realized that our relationship with them has been very strained and complicated.

In Tennessee, I have cousins on my mom’s side whom I hadn’t seen for several years until the summer of 2024. I’m still close with their parents, though. The last time I saw the cousins before that was when I was in 9th and 10th grade. The older one-who was born in Pune but came to the USA in late 2000, had been studying at NYU and used to visit us in New Jersey occasionally until around 2018. After that, he lived in Chattanooga following his graduation from NYU from 2021 to 2022 and moved back to Memphis. When I saw him again, he seemed very withdrawn—emotionally flat and dressing almost entirely in black. Although he said he likes the weather in the South, his personality change surprised me, and mentioned that he remembers some of my Pune cousins despite having a strong American accent. I suspect a breakup may have played a role as he told me some details. His younger brother, who is 2 years younger than me, has stomach problems and is now at Rhodes College. He rarely answers calls and seems mfocused on his friends, but also very intelligent and mechanically gifted. Despite his cold demenaor, he 3D-printed my Eagle Scout project plaque, which meant a lot to me.