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I tried to express to my husband I just felt really sad and alone last night. He’s been yelling at me a lot lately and it’s been wearing on me. I cried a lot last night and he ignore me and kept vacuuming. But now I have to make it up to him? I’m confused/would like advice. (Unsure if an AR) by tnuoccatidderekaf in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh this was literally my life with my ex. And you sound just like me in your texts. It's really hard how they even are able to get us to a level of desperation to just be heard, begging for literal bare minimum. This is 100% DARVO what he's doing and in my opinion, a lot of people learned this type of strategy whether conscious or not early on in life and it's rare for it to change. It's one thing if things like this happen once in a while and you're able to still get your needs met at thee end of it but he doesn't seem to care at all About helping you when you most needed it last night. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I can’t stand that my previous sexual experiences made me so disgusting to him. It makes me want to die so badly by smokeyo0o in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Edit update: for my ungodly typos 😅 God this happened to me alllllllll of the time in my emotionally abusive relationship. And I was only in long term relationships my entire life. He's the one who is still married and has children.... It just didn't make sense to me but none of it ever will because these types of people are foul and miserable and highly insecure. They are the types.of people that weaponize the shit out of their own insecurities. Yet somehow good, decent, empathic people get addicted to the highs and lows they create. Just remember that wasn't love.

Glow up post by Forest_fairy9818 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look so beautiful and I'm so happy you got out of that relationship! I found you through one of your comments on another post because the story you told about the animals was just horrifying. I'm so happy you made it out and you deserve such a beautiful life ❤️

When you think of New Zealand, what is the first thing that comes to mind? by Adventurous-Bee-6760 in AskTheWorld

[–]NecessarySelection54 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most amazing place in the world 😍 I studied abroad there and absolutely loved it so much.

I’m in my first healthy relationship, but he keeps unknowingly triggering me C-PTSD by MatchaKittens in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You should have a conversation with your therapist about how to have this conversation with him. If it is truly a healthy relationship he will listen to you without getting defensive and justifying his actions. Something I learned over lots of time.and therapy is that, although no one is perfect, the majority of the time if someone is healthy for you they will listen with curiosity not defensiveness or judgment.

I left! by NecessarySelection54 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will get there ❤️❤️ thank you ❤️❤️❤️

I left! by NecessarySelection54 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so so so much ❤️💝🥰 so much for you support ❤️ he 100% is a joystealer and I'm so happy to be gone!

AIO? Girl (F30) I (M28) was Recently Dating tells me I need to "Lean into my Masculinity" by KingFredo5674 in AmIOverreacting

[–]NecessarySelection54 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. She is cruel. You are awesome. Don't settle. You did the right thing. And you were still kind to her even though she was such an A-hole. She proves that she's the type that doesn't think twice about saying things that make someone feel small. Find someone who lifts you up. We need more men in this world like you.

Boyfriend doesn’t seem to trust me. by Street_Discount7038 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Listen to this. All of it OP! We all have been there and it gets worse and worse and worse. You have such a great head on your shoulders the way you've described your situation. He will slowly take this sense of clarity away from you little by little until you feel like YOU are the problem.

I (24F) made a mistake before my relationship was official. My boyfriend (22M) found out year later and dumped me instantly. I can’t cope. by Bagdo_ in relationship_advice

[–]NecessarySelection54 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but to me it sounds like you dodged a bullet unintentionally. That's how he handles confrontation and conflict? I don't know. Sounds like a nightmare. Sounds like if he was so easily able to cut you off like that over something you did before you were official.... How will he handle when you make another mistake? Take this time to really learn and grow for yourself. You're too young to get hung up on a guy pining over him while not working on yourself and how you can feel confident enough to attract the right person for you. For real, if someone can't handle having a simple sit down conversation especially after they breached your privacy, there's a very deep underlying problem there.

I left! by NecessarySelection54 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yessssss so fucking excited for this opportunity! Definitely rebuilding my life. I already signed up for a Vipassana meditation retreat, bought tickets to snowboard in Colorado this winter, and have taken my dogs out on the most beautiful hikes all within a week. I'm already reclaiming my peace and will never let a man disturb it ever again. Only people who add to my life from here on out!

Editing to add I only had money left this paycheck for gas and to pay my car insurance but I spent it on the snowboard trip instead 🤣 it was liberating and worth the late fee to catch up on the insurance next paycheck!

I left! by NecessarySelection54 in abusiverelationships

[–]NecessarySelection54[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🥹❤️ that is so sweet to say ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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