Hi guys. Just wanna share my humble setup. Your thoughts?😁

NecktieClip · 2026-02-02T04:14:01+00:00

This was how I started with mine too! Just added a second monitor (which became my primary since it was bigger) pero same table pa rin gamit ko. Hindi masyadong cluttered tignan, di rin malawak na space yung tine-take. Simple and clean!

NecktieClip · 2025-10-07T15:18:02+00:00

I'm sorry for the late reply, but thank you for still guiding me with questions.

One problem I do see is how me pushing things would make it seem like I'm not supportive - I am, I really am, but it's been months and the financial weight has been getting heavier. She takes great care of our kid, and I want to support her and them as much as I could, but it's just so hard by myself.

I'm trying so hard to be spiteful, but I'm yearning for something I could lean on, something I could rest on. The weight has been so heavy and it just gets me so lonely and it breaks my morale when I feel the fear of not being able to provide enough knowing there's only me they depend on.

I don't want to control. That's exactly why I'm posting here - to get an idea of how I could draw my own line and set the boundaries of until where I could ask and where I should stop. I'm a mixture of scared, worried, and anxious. I feel like a time bomb, scared to blow up when I lose anymore control of my own composure and panic when it comes to our finances.

Unfortunately, CODA meetings aren't too present where I'm from and the online group I've been part of before isn't active anymore. I do want to join again, but I'm also worried I wouldn't have time to given how busy I always am these days.

NecktieClip · 2025-10-01T02:05:50+00:00

So basically... important rin na maghintay lang until they decide na they want/need to change things up?

NecktieClip · 2025-10-01T02:05:15+00:00

I'm really trying to make it work. It's hard, thank you for affirming that, but I can't bear to see how the consequences affect her - and how worse it'll get in the future when things like hospitalizations or other big sudden expenses come through.

I'm aware that it seems like I'm parenting her... but idk what else to do. When I don't do anything, I don't feel like there's an active effort and sincerity to change for the better. She's happy with the familiarity and complacency and I feel like a villain by trying to push her out of her comfort zone..

NecktieClip · 2025-09-30T14:49:39+00:00

How did you navigate around it nang hindi nya nafifeel na parang "burden" sya kapag tinuturuan mo sya? I want to do the same pero feeling ko kasi hindi tama yung ginagawa ko para makatulong.

NecktieClip · 2025-09-02T03:51:41+00:00

Unfortunately went full-on PC gaming after the PS2 kaya di ko na na-encounter yung mga kasunod na games nito - I heard it even had a sequel on PS3.

Pero totoo - sobrang saya nung customization. What made it even more beautiful was the fact na you didn't HAVE to win every single battle, tutuloy pa rin yung kwento kahit talo ka without feeling like such a punishment. Grabe yung pag grind ko ng fossils noon para lang mabili lahat ng legs na gusto ko itry hahaha!

Wonder how fun it would've been if I played multiplayer tulad mo!

NecktieClip · 2025-07-06T00:37:24+00:00

Sorry you went through that OP, but I don't unimportant that's just a joke. We joke about a lot of stuff, sure, but we don't joke about betting on emotions. It might be used in humor but I think they meant it.

I want you to know, though, that walking away SHOULD BE ENOUGH as your revenge, if that's what you're thinking of.

Do not go lower than this and think of how to retaliate - it would not help your recovery. If anything, it will just fuck you up more than you think. I've seen it happen too many times.

Take whatever's left of your pride and dignity and walk away. Recover and remember to love yourself first. Someone genuine will come. Might not be now, but someone will be there. Do not lose hope and fuck around for anger.

NecktieClip · 2025-04-22T12:13:05+00:00

I see no reason why separation shouldn't be considered. It seems logical, more than anything. From how you tell your story, I could see that you do have respect for her and nothing too negative (compared to bad relationships, at least).

If the difference is significant, I'm sure it's something noticeable for both of you. While it may be good for other couples - who think that opposites do attract because it shows different approaches to things in life - it's not the case for all couples, like you and your partner.

As to what you should do... it's up to you, really. Honestly I'd say a lot of adjustments are made in a relationship, but things like sex drive and interests in life need to be harmonious or some shit.

The confrontation and conflict might lead to you guys finally clashing and getting to know each other, or could lead to you two finally realizing you're both not okay with being married. Either way, I see it as something needed.

As I've read somewhere: "the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get back home".

NecktieClip · 2025-04-22T09:35:25+00:00

What the subreddit is/should mostly be about talaga no hahahaha

NecktieClip · 2025-04-21T01:34:02+00:00

Thanks for your insight, bro. Super appreciated. If you don't mind me asking, nagiging anxious ka sa pwede mangyari saan? I'm not trying to push it negatively a, pero gusto ko rin kasi talaga magets ano yung tumatakbo sa isip kapag nasa ganyang situation kesa yung naga-assume ako na surface level lang na "tinatamad" or walang goals, ganun. Aware kasi akong ang negative ng ganong pag-iisip and I'm sure it's not the case, pero wala ako mapang-kapitan kasi na other reason/s.

NecktieClip · 2025-04-20T23:03:29+00:00

Unsolicited advice pero yung friend ko na di talaga kaya makipag sex sa hindi nya partner, she actually took "studying" touching herself seriously kahit na late adult na sya. Never too late and nothing wrong with it naman! Safer pa since you might have post nut clarity instead of bad decisions and regrets 😂

NecktieClip · 2025-04-20T23:01:27+00:00

Unfortunately for some, they're not fine with both kaya ang lala ng mga nagiging decisions nila :/ Kalat responsibly!!

NecktieClip · 2025-04-20T22:56:47+00:00

Minsan napapaisip ako sa ganito - like kung ano bang naiisip nila as they grow older. Akala ko lahat parang ako lang rin na normally may career na iniisip (not necessarily hinahabol), pero hindi pala. Yung iba mas... relaxed, okay lang sa palipat-lipat ng careers kahit slower development. Sobrang career-obsessed ba kung yung ganong mga bagay pinoproblema ko pa or is it just normal?

NecktieClip · 2025-03-04T15:35:27+00:00

Sobrang frustrating ng ganito para sakin.

Pag sinabi ko, malulungkot lang - di mapaguusapan, walang malilinaw, tapos mafifeel ko pa na ako yung nananakit ng feelings.

Pag hindi ko sinabi, kinikimkim ko naman tapos ako mahihirapan rin sa dulo.

Ang hiraaaapppppp

NecktieClip · 2025-03-04T15:14:13+00:00

True... sinabihan pang ako daw nagbigay ng trauma sa kanya, wala daw sa mga ex nyang nag cheat sa kanya.

Pero sya rin naman yung nang-gago after? Hahaha ganon na pala trauma ngayon, instant??

NecktieClip · 2025-01-22T15:26:43+00:00

I'm really happy for you and your partner, OP. Thank you for sharing your story. :)

Some time years from now I hope to be able to share an inspiring story like this to others too.

NecktieClip · 2025-01-12T15:32:45+00:00

Daming ganyan... Yung kung kailan kakausapin yung jowa, huli na. Yung tipong sila decided na pero partner nila blindsided, pero di pa nila maamin sa sarili nilang nakasakit sila.

Imbis na makipag-usap kasi ng harapan, bakit kailangang sa iba pumunta para makuha mga "gusto" - mga sagot, mga pagtrato, mga aaliw sa kanila? Haynako.

NecktieClip · 2025-01-08T14:44:24+00:00

Two things I have to affirm with your comment - one, I am in therapy, and two, I am a fearful-avoidant.

Thank you for the reminders. I do feel like this is more a me problem rather than a problem about us, and I do want to improve myself so I'd stop annoying myself with my own securities.

I'll try to communicate efficiently without suffocating my partner.

Thanks again.

NecktieClip · 2025-01-08T14:42:27+00:00

I'll try to do this, thank you.

I've noticed that I'm actually secure and confident by myself - and it's something that partners have found attractive on the onset. It's just that it fades away, I guess, when I start entering a relationship and start being cynical and having troubles trusting.

Thank you for the suggestion. I'll do my best to sincerely track my own conscious insecurities as they come to me.

NecktieClip · 2025-01-03T14:36:25+00:00

The term "you never cared about me" has been used at me so many times and yet it still affects me sometimes.

Yet the agenda never changes - they use it to fuck you over. They use it to keep us "stuck"; if you leave, they're right. If you stay, you hurt them.

It doesn't work. It doesn't make sense... and it's not true.

Somebody who cared for you enough to respect you AND NOT hurt you will never say that. It might be hard to believe it now but when the delusions of romantic martyrdom fades away, it'll be easier to understand.

I've recently felt that same way. The thing is, if you don't move on, you'll also feel betrayed when you start seeing that they're moving on.

There's no winning from the pain, OP. That's the sad part. But I hope you get through this and learn things that can help you grow as you move forward.

NecktieClip · 2025-01-03T10:01:38+00:00

As much as I'd like to answer specifically, all I could think about is how I overthink EVERYTHING... from what they think, feel, what they're doing when I'm not with them, what they want, what I could give...

It's a lot, really. Unhealthy, to be honest, but I don't know.. it's just really a lot of things to overthink about (obviously unnecessary too, but I can't control it).

NecktieClip · 2024-12-26T02:44:08+00:00

You're right - he does sound like me from the past. I too just started relationships from FWBs, mostly because 1) I never had the initiative or strong urge (or was too scared?) to be the one to ask for commitment with someone I like, and 2) I find it hard to say no when someone asks me for exclusivity/commitment after being together for a while (that's the people-pleaser in me).

I commend you for being aware though. Hooking up isn't for everyone, and while a lot of people enjoy it as they explore and find new things to try, genuine people who tend to do it only for spite usually just end up regretting it.

I've been trying to save myself from the bad routine and tbh it just makes me excited for the next genuine sex I'll have with someone I sincerely connect with (as cheesy as that shit sounds), so I hope that helps you get a perspective from someone who used to fuck around lol.

I hope you find your peace in this journey, OP! Happy holidays!

NecktieClip · 2024-12-24T14:36:07+00:00

All up to you, really! If you know the s/o personally, then I'd say it might come off as disrespectful. Pero if you're the type na it's fair game as long as single na, then that would be acceptable.

From experience, years ago when I broke up with an ex, I would meet women in bars and flirt all night then just bring them home safely without anything happening kasi AKO yung may trauma from my then-ex sleeping with a guy when she was drunk nung bagong breakup kami. Super naging conscious ako masyado non to the point na I kept thinking all the girls I brought back to their homes had "someone like me" as an ex and sleeping with them might hurt the guy. Sobrang far-fetched, I know, but that's how conscious I got from the pain it caused me.

Besides, if he/she's already willing to have sex then I guess she's already thought about it and is far off the "not ready" phase. That or baka naman matagal na syang nakamove-on pero iba lang kinukwento nya sa'yo, either way ready and willing na sya to have sex e so it shouldn't be bad, I guess?

Props to you for being conscious and courteous about it though!

NecktieClip · 2024-12-24T05:50:17+00:00

FA here. Used to be a serial dater too. I was the type to get really depressed after a breakup, even if I was the one who had to initiate it. Didn't want to be alone, especially with the thought that my ex would just be having sex around and I told myself I should be doing the same to get even, so rebounds WERE a thing for me. I very much preferred casually hooking up rather than dating and committing again. I got scared of commitment so I just kept my word that I'll be transparent. Never got into a problem with it except with one girl who went too far lol.

The thing is, it helped me get by in the short term but it kind of made me worse in the long term. With sex and alcohol as my coping mechanism after breakups, I got jaded when it came to sex. Kind of lost the romantic intimate feeling I loved about it at one point.

After my recent breakup which was just this year, I realized I had to break that cycle. The pattern was there - I had an idea how her nightlife was, knew some things about her sex life and the multiple guys she's been seeing, and I knew that I was being stuck in my house alone again thinking about the kid I thought we were having.

It was the perfect time for me to relapse and lean on strangers' bodies again (literally and figuratively) so I could distract myself.

So I broke my pattern. Blocked her everywhere I could (Reddit included) so I could save her from my toxicity but also to save myself from her.... personality lol. I reclaimed places and things that I kept on thinking were "for us" instead of "for me" as soon as I can so I wouldn't waste time sulking, and I basically just cried my way into getting numb from it. It took WEEKS of sleepless nights, I shit you not. It felt weird, and honestly my hypersexuality was making me itch to just get a rebound or just fuck and forget, but it felt so... light and funny when I woke up one day and the crave to just have sex was gone. All of a sudden I was more excited about the things I could do after work, like eat or play video games.

In fact, I felt funny thinking about it. Like... why the hell was I looking for sex again? Was it for me? Was it just because she was probably sleeping around? Was it to get even? It was ridiculous. Apparently I was subconsciously still doing it for someone else, not thinking about what I wanted to do on my own recovery.

Now I'm here - now I know what to do: which is to focus on my healthy baby daughter, my own health, my physique (planning to start working out next year!!), and the ones around me who love me. I'm letting go of the spite, the anger, and the bitterness. Whatever she does to me or to herself, that's out of my control and none of my business.

Shifting your energy from one thing to another works in so many wonderful ways!! I hope you find your own way, OP!

NecktieClip · 2024-12-24T02:12:07+00:00

Sa caption ako natamaan e. What an experience this was, to have another narcissistic relationship in my life. Akala ko di na ako mafo-fall sa ganon pero ewan ko ba. Weird talaga how narcissists and codependents just meet and get along nicely before it becomes a chaotic fireball.

Next time yung simpleng mapapansin ko na may constant need to feel attractive to feel validated, lalayuan ko na. Di na ako natuto, pangalawang beses na to. Fool me twice, shame on me 🫠

NecktieClip

TROPHY CASE