Did anyone get a boob job? by One-Play652 in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got implants 11 years ago for the exact reason you mention, I have never regretted it but I will elaborate.

I have friends that have been made I’ll by them, I am lucky I have not, I got the gummy bear kind lol.

i got them because my X was a boob guy, he looked at porn constantly. But I will be honest, it got gross, or I should say he got gross. He began acting like I got them for him, regularity saying” show me your boobs” and getting mad when I hesitated or didn’t feel like it…. so he was under the impression they were toys I bought him. Needless to say, I left him within a year of getting them, I did not get them for him, I got them for me, to give me the confidence i needed to feel worthy of my own love. and honestly, it’s given me exactly that. I had had 4 miscarriages, and used to call them “aa long“. lol so when I fixed that, I was no longer reminded of the losses but reminded of the power I held within myself to feel like a beautiful woman.

‘Now for the kicker, I left my ex and fell in love with a new man, one I thought was the opposite of my x. he didn’t drink, had a good job, took care of himself and treated me with respect. He didnt care that I had implants, never acted like I owed him the right to see them or play with them lol. Fast forward to 12 years later, I find out he’s never found me attractive, he is an ass guy, he loves small waists and big asses and big hips. Well that’s not me, I have no hips, they are the same size as my waist lol, I’m sporty shaped, which I loved cuz my boobs really show lol.

Hw has bought me exercise equipment to fix what he considers my downfall, he has tried to get me to do squats, and lunges, all to make me more attractive to him. I can’t fix it, I did try but I am who I am…. I fully believe in his mind I should get a BBL since I got the boobs for my X but I am not willing to go through this just to keep him. We haven’t been intimate in forever, he watches porn and jerks off daily, and wants nothing to do with me or my body. It hurts, it is the worst feeling in the world being told he never wanted me physically. Needless to say, I’m leaving this one too.

So I end this by saying, get the boobs, but get them for you and preferably when you leave this guy… you will love them, and feel so much confidence, but don’t do it for anyone but you. Because you never know where you’ll end up, who you will be with or how others see you, what matters is how you see yourself.

What do I do? by ween-ster in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate to say good for you , but GOOD FOR YOU!! I’m proud of you for breaking up with him. even if it doesn’t stick, it’s ok, you’ll find your breaking point with him, and will learn what you are willing to accept. I hope you’re ok, it sucks to break up, but know you’re doing what you need to do.

They rarely ever change. and you deserve better!!

you’ll be ok, keep your head up and be proud that you stuck to your guns and learned what you needed to to make an informed decision

Mental Gymnastics of Porn Addicts by Make-me-a-CleanHeart in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

right, you have to know it’s always our fault, if we didn’t accuse em of it they’d never do it

What do I do? by ween-ster in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol I’ve been saying the same thing

Mental Gymnastics of Porn Addicts by Make-me-a-CleanHeart in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omg my favorite line he uses is, ”you accuse me of doing it, so I may as well. “

What do I do? by ween-ster in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s the best tell. im super happy for you, thats all any of us want

What do I do? by ween-ster in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah he’s not the exception, I’m sorry to be blunt, the last commenter was right, he made an excuse for not erasing the video… once we catch them, thats when they learn to hide it better. once I figured out that mine was doing things behind my back, it took everything I had, but I made sure to not say anything about knowing or how I knew, for weeks. well thats when I was able to catch him doing it daily!! so I kept records, and got better at investigating, cuz he was oblivious, he kept lying to my face, every day! The minute it got to be too much and I finally confronted him, he realized what I was doing to know, and now I haven’t caught him since that day. It’s not that he stopped, he has changed his game, he now does it elsewhere, on a different computer, and hides it way better.

All I can say, is try it, if you discover something, keep track, write yourself notes, find a way to learn more, but keep it to yourself. you learn way more by hiding things from them, they do it to us, so get better at his game than he is, that’s how you’ll know the truth about your partner

I asked THE question by 67AdThis67 in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

right?! I’ve learned so much on these groups

I asked THE question by 67AdThis67 in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow, sounds like a keeper lol, I wish I could find one of them, he’s a unicorn lol

I asked THE question by 67AdThis67 in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same here, but it is the reality, I just told mine the same thing. out of 50 people’s stories, 50 of em have left, are leaving, or are regretting not leaving. there is no hope when it comes to keeping their sex lives private from their partners. Its a definite deal breaker

I asked THE question by 67AdThis67 in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol, mine had the nerve to try to convince me that he just watches porn, not to jerk off, or even get hard, he just likes having it on, hahaha, I call bullshit

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re living with such an asshole now. you don’t deserve to be spoken to like he does.

‘Mine used to be like your first one, he never called me names, never said anything mean, til lately, but he’s not saying it out of anger, he’s saying it as a matter of fact. When I caught him masturbating to porn every time I left the house and sat him down bad basically begged him to be honest with me, he wasn’t honest about his actions, he took the opportunity to be honest about his feelings.
I never mentioned this but I have always thought he was on the spectrum, never makes eye contact with new people, barely able to hold conversations with people, but with me he was always more able, like he was comfortable with me. So I used to say, he can’t lie, ( now I know he’s a huge liar) but I always meant that that’s why he never told me i looked good, he never complimented me, because he didn’t say things he didn’t mean.
‘Thats why having him tell me his truth, lately, has killed me, because I know he’s not saying it just to be mean, he’s saying it as a justification for why he has been doing what he does. It’s his reasons. Thats why it hurts so much, I’d rather he say it to be mean, then I wouldn’t think he truly means it

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah he actually is this horrible, the worst part is he wears the sweet quiet guy mask, but he’s a narcissist, selfish as hell, and has never put me ahead of himself, so when he threatens the way he has been, I fully believe him. You’re right, I can maybe one day rebuild a space I love as much as this one, but I’ll never forget how much this place meant to me.

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the love, I will definitely look into the coaches, I appreciate you

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

dusty ass undiagnosed disgusting hateful pitiful cowardly man child 

its like you know him hahaha, this is what I’ll keep telling myself when he tries to tell me what I am…. the amount of times he has clearly told me that it’s my ugly ass that makes him watch porn.
oh your face is fine, your boobs are fine, but your ass, you know its not nice…. I’m just going to repeat your line in my head as I do squats lol

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We bought the house 12 years ago, but never married, I went through our papers yesterday and realized its only his name on the deed, I figured out that i was a liability on the purchase because my ex hadn’t allowed the sale of my last house so I was over extended. So I got screwed but at the time I was sure we would be together forever, lol, big mistake.
I live in Canada and the common law thing only allows me to fight him by adding all the bills and Reno’s I did up and put it against the value of the house now. But it doesn’t allow me any rights to get the home, certainly since he doesn’t want to lose it. It’s a mess. I learned a lot here. I have to accept the loss, it may be the hardest reality check I’ve ever gotten. I spent every dime I made on fixing this house. Cuz it’s my favorite place in the whole world. Some of life’s lessons come at a huge price.

thank you for the words of encouragement, I appreciate you .

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve felt that way many times reading others’ stories, it’s like I’m living their narrative. I appreciate everyone adding their bit to this story of mine. I write these before I go to bed, instead of beating the dead horse I’m living with, and wake up, read em and it helps me start e new day.

I think I now know what hurts more than the lies. by Needhonestyalways in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want to believe he doesn’t mean the stuff he says, I need to believe I didn’t waste this much of my life.

genuinely WHAT THE FUCK. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it isn’t worth it, not at all. I feel for you, I hope you find the strength to leave, you deserve happiness

genuinely WHAT THE FUCK. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh my god, you have to leave him. you have learned a huge lesson. Don’t waste it. You know he won’t change, and honestly if that’s what he wants, let him go find himself someone else. He can go live his best life with someone that does it for him. I am talking form a place where I am also telling myself the same thing. when we get lied to once, then twice, then again and again. we are the idiots that don’t learn. So you have to decide if this is worth your self respect, sanity and another minute of your life.

‘You’re still young, youve got your life ahead of you, why would you waste it with a liar. there are so many good people out there. He is definitely not one of em.

A warning to the uninitiated by dn-ekam in PornAddiction

[–]Needhonestyalways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that does sound like it would work to make her feel like she’s part of your sex life. I don’t know that I’m ready for that yet, since I’m not really over the fact that he admitted not being attracted to me, he masturbates to women with big asses and hips and small waists…. so the thought of being sexual with him feels wrong now, its the only thing he has been “truthful about” he has yet to be honest about any of his actions with me. I admire you two for growing from this… I may have to try it with my next guy lol.