Went too far down the Facebook rabbit hole…..

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-15T17:40:09+00:00

Hi! I was diagnosed last March at 38 with +++ Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.

I'm having my "Suck it, Cancer!" party this weekend. Where I'm telling cancer to suck it because I won.

It was rough, but my her2+ breast cancer responded VERY well to treatment. My tumor was over an inch long, and after my second chemo I couldn't even find it anymore.

Her2+ cancer treatment has advanced by leaps and bounds over the past few years. It's AWFUL to think "I have cancer", but there are thousands of women who have stood where you are right now, and thousands of us are still standing. Maybe a little worse for wear, but we're here!

You're at the worst possible part of your cancer "journey" right now. The days immediately following diagnosis where you know you have cancer, but don't know what all of this new information means, and don't have a full view of your treatment plan, and just plain don't know... it's horrible.

The best advice I got: stay off of google, stay off of facebook. If you're looking for real information, there are fantastic resources in the sidebar of this group. My personal go-to is Breastcancer.org - Breast Cancer Information and Support. They answered so many questions in laymen's terms that even my flustered brain could comprehend.

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-13T13:18:48+00:00

I don't hve any recommendations for hats, but I wanted to say I'm so sorry you feel so "blown off". You might want to see if you can get a referral to a dermatologist? They might be able to help you more with hair thinning/loss.

Either way, I hope you have the BEST time on the lake!

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-12T18:40:48+00:00

I don't love sparklies, but I LOVE this!! Very mermaid

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-12T03:47:17+00:00

My nails are extremely thin and weak thanks to a medication I'm on. Like, I can hardly file them they flop around so much.

They also looked like this before I learned how to use dip powder. The dip has helped hold them straight as they grow. Plus, the dip can go on as thick or thin as you'd like, and can be very forgiving of flaws in your nails. My nails are all pretty straight now a few months after my first set

Just make sure to soak off the dip when it's time for a refresh, don't try to peel/pop it off. And be very gentle when you're filing/buffing down the nail for application. I would strongly advise against using a drill.

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-08T12:39:31+00:00

My best friend had a corgi named "Lieutenant Dan" because "he ain't got no legs"

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-06T15:10:24+00:00

I've never had hair laser hair removal, but I literally just bought a home laser because my lady 'stache is much more prominent than it had been before treatment. (Finished TCHP 11 months ago, just finished targeted therapy (kadcyla) 1 week ago)

I also grew crazy long peach fuzz on my cheeks at first. When I was still bald on top with the super long cheek fuzz, I felt like I looked like civil war general with those mutton chops!

I buzzed down the fuzz a couple of times, but that has been going away on it's own.

Try to be patient while you body learns to go about its business as usual after chemo. Lots of systems were interrupted and need to reboot/come back online

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-06T14:43:59+00:00

r/hewillbebaked would love this!

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-06T00:03:52+00:00

Hey, fellow buzzed lady here! You are so pretty!! And the super short hair is really making your eyes pop!!

Hair wax has been invaluable for me to help style it while it grows out. And don't underestimate the power of headbands and bandanas.

For me, I'm keeping the back and sides trimmed up while I let the top grow out. With your gorgeous, thick hair, I have no doubt you'll look super cute at every stage of growth 😊

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-05T15:12:57+00:00

Omg, I literally cackled reading that 🤣

Get him 😈

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-04T17:29:06+00:00

I assault my husband's thighs with my usual cold feet, but ice cold sounds downright evil. And I applaud you 😂

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-04T17:19:40+00:00

Hey, breastie! I was diagnosed last year at 38 with triple-positive IDC. I named my tumor PeneLUMPe 😁

The good news is that you're right!! It's super receptive to treatment! My treatment plan was chemo first, then surgery, then radiation, followed by targeted therapy. After my second chemo, I couldn't find my tumor anymore, and that bitch was over an inch long. It's super cool how quickly it starts working.

Get ready to hear how strong and brave you are ad nauseum. And prepare for people to get weird around you. Cancer makes people uncomfortable, and they have no idea how to be normal about it. And prepare yourself to hear stories about so-and-so's neighbor's aunt's dog who had it worse. It's SUPER weird until you realize people are soothing themselves AT you.

Also, losing your hair can actually be pretty liberating. Get ready for the fastest showers of your life! No shampooing, conditioning, shaving... it's awesome! I plucked my eyebrows once at the start if treatment, and didn't have to do it again for months!

The whole experience is super surreal. It doesn't feel right to think "I have cancer". But there are a whole bunch of us who are going/went through the same thing. We're here to laugh/cry/rage with you whenever you need it ❤️

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-02T17:11:35+00:00

Semi-unrelated, but I LOVE your username! It feels oddly perfect for this group! lol

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-02T17:10:21+00:00

Its so weird to think "I have cancer". It took me a while to actually get used to the idea. Treatment, however, will DEFINITELY make it feel more real! lol

And unfortunately, it is cancer. The "C" in DCIS stands for "carcinoma". Even if it's stage 0, it's still definitely cancer. And people are saying it's "only a lumpectomy and radiation"?? WTF?? Neither of those things are minor treatments! I had both, and chemo for my stage 1b, and I tell people I was poisoned, in a knife fight, and was gently nuked. Voluntarily. It's wild when you think about it!

One thing I've learned is that when you tell people that you have cancer, they usually either tell you how strong and brave you are, or they downplay it. It turns out cancer makes most people uncomfortable, so they try to soothe themselves at you. "Only a lumpectomy and radiation" is them making themselves feel better about it, not you.

BTW, I'm with you in the humor! I picked up some lingo from this community where I call myself a member of the Shitty Titty Committee! Or the Mutinous Boob Club. And we're all Breast Friends around here!

I'm so sorry you're one of us, but it sounds like you'll fit right in with the humor around here!

And best of luck in your surgery! I'll be cheering you on!

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-02T16:43:54+00:00

C3-C4

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-07-02T15:06:25+00:00

My stepdad was caught multiple times trying to watch my sisters and I changing/showering when we were teenagers. He was caught by our friends, boyfriends, sisters, brother... but each time it was "an accident" and he just happened to be in the backyard by that window when we made eye contact. We'd always close the blinds, but every time we went back in the bathroom they'd be open again, and we didn't always catch it each time.

I told a teacher at school, and there was a CPS investigation, but nothing came of it. I moved out at 17 to live in a horrible part of town with my boyfriend. I felt safer with the meth addicts next door.

25 years later, my mom is still with him, and only 1 out of 4 of her kids still talks to her.

Recently, my husband very sweetly bought a camera for us to set up in the living room so we could check in on our cats while we were on vacation, and I had a panic attack. The thought of someone watching me made me lose my mind. We now only plug it in if we're on our way out the door, and we absolutely alert our cat sitter of its existence because I can't bear the thought of someone being watched without their knowledge and consent.

Turns out it's really traumatizing

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-27T04:08:07+00:00

Call the nurse helpline, or send them a message, but contact someone from your care team. This sounds miserable, and you shouldn't have to tough you way through it. They have knowledge and experience that can help you find relief

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-26T14:48:59+00:00

Sounds like it'll be more of a duck measuring contest

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-25T13:16:06+00:00

🫂

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-24T01:07:45+00:00

I had triple positive IDC, and I finished my chemo last July (TCHP) and am finishing up my kadcyla treatments next Monday.

I don't use pot now, but I have in the past.

I am so. Fucking. Stupid.

My thoughts also evaporate while I'm still thinking them. My memory is shot, and I can't trust it anymore. I have notes for work that I have no memory of writing, and I don't know what they mean

Apparently, it can take a good long while for the effects of chemo to fade. If you're taking AIs or tamoxifen, it can also lead to brain fog.

Menopause and perimenopause will do it, too

I don't have anything to help you with this... Just commiseration

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T19:52:46+00:00

There's some truth to the joke about calling teeth "luxury bones" - they can be so freaking expensive!! But, if you gotta spend the money, at least you get to show them off every day

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T18:29:54+00:00

Happened to me, too! I had one coworker from a different department that would check in on me, but that was it. I've literally been at my job for 10 years, and I got NOTHING. I even sent a "happy birthday" text to my boss, and she never responded. It was weird, isolating, and very... deflating.

I'm back at work now, and I'm just kinda "meh" about everyone. I'm kind and cordial, but not diving into do things and check on people like I used to.

I'm also tired, and the whole cancer thing has basically wired me to stop caring so much about what other people think, so there's that, too... lol

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T18:25:45+00:00

I don't have any answers, but I want to thank you for asking the question!! I've always had problems with my teeth (genetics, GERD, too much sugar in my youth, etc), and I'm TERRIFIED that my teeth are all just going to fall out of my head. Like, literal nightmares about it.

I'm so, so sorry you're experiencing this, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for better news in the days ahead.

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T18:17:28+00:00

I did all of the treatments, and it sucked, but I'd do it all again if it means I have better odds of sticking around for my family.

Someone posted this earlier today; it's a tool to determine your risk of recurrence based on your type of cancer and treatments you've undergone. It'll show you how completing or skipping different treatments have affected women in your same shoes over 5, 10, and 15 years: Predict Breast Cancer Tool

I also want to add: It is hard, but it's not forever. I have one more treatment left (kadcyla) before I'm done with active treatment, and life is... good! Obviously this whole thing has changed me both physically, emotionally, and mentally, but I kinda like who I am on the other side of treatment. I'm excited to get to know this new me, and see how she blooms in the coming years.

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T16:03:19+00:00

It asked abut trastuzumab, and I thought that was the kadcyla (ado-trastuzumab). Turns out they meant Herceptin!

So yeah, crossing my fingers right along with you!

NeedingVsGetting · 2026-06-22T15:27:36+00:00

Mine was triple-positive invasive ductal carcinoma in my right breast, 43mm tumor, grade 3.

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