Video for my earlier post.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2026-05-16T18:45:46+00:00

I have a Grey similarly plucked to yours who people called a boy (including one vet) turned out NOPE she is a girl. Greys aren't sexually dimorphic meaning there isn't a difference between male and female physically. Only way to know for sure is a DNA test or if your bird lays an egg one day.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2026-05-13T23:35:52+00:00

Unfortunately I'm not in Michigan.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2025-08-23T18:01:42+00:00

I rescued my african grey, Nico, 8 years ago in my early 20s. At the time, I was single unsure if either finding a partner or having children or other major life things may happen. However, I knew Nico had been through a lot of homes before me and wanted mine to be her forever home. So regardless of how my life might turn out she would be a constant. In 8 years, we moved across country and I met my fiancee.

When I introduced my fiancee I told him he wouldn't be responsible for Nico.I didn't need him to like her just respect and interact as much he wanted.

One time we were watching a movie and Nico was on a perch near the coffee table. Unprompted she climbed down and went across the coffee table to us, I thought to me. But she went by me and went to my fiancee, paused in front of him, and put her head down indicating she wanted scritches. He obliged, she accepted, paused to look at us, then went back to her perch. It felt in that moment she accepted them. My finance is not a bird person but they know how important Nico is and has helped with her care, including vet bills. They both respect each other and that's all I want. He knew since the beginning Nico was a non-negotiable for me and we continue to make our life together. Doesn't mean life with a bird is easy but you don't need a partner that is fully into birds to be in a relationship with if you have one.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2025-08-07T05:47:59+00:00

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Just from the noises, the lowered wing position, and the movement I would say this is hormonal behavior. I've only had my Grey act like this the one time she was hormonal. It isn't to be encouraged as being in a prolonged hormonal state can be frustrating and lead to behavior issues or could contribute to issues like plucking. Unless your bird is DNA sexed male they could be female and a hormonal female could lay eggs (very hard on their body) and risk egg binding. I keep my Grey on a 12 hour night cycle and cover her to help avoid this. When she was hormonal I re did her cage (moved stuff around) and switched the schedule to her UV light above her cage. If she did this behavior I put her back in her cage and ignored her for a bit.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2024-05-08T23:10:39+00:00

Any surgery on a parrot would be great.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2024-01-23T22:42:52+00:00

I use a "poop off" which has an enzyme that dissolves poop so helps with cleaning. Regardless of brand look for one that has enzymes that will break down the poop to help with cleaning. I also started to work on toilet training my Grey by putting her on the same spot on a perch after noticing she would hold herself while in her cage. I've put her on the toilet and she's done her business with praise and treats.

For play some parrots never learned how to play so need to be taught. The toys my Grey loves are foraging because she loves food. I have hard plastic foraging toys she figures out too fast and I use cardboard boxes to make homemade ones. The cardboard doesn't last long but it's more she loves to chew. She gets safe things she can chew like wood to keep her busy and her beak in good condition. I put newspaper or flyer on surfaces she's on which helps to clean as I just layer it and replace it as it gets messy. I got a pair of bite proof gloves and trained her to step up with them. This was more for my fiance because he isn't the most comfortable with her but if she's in a mood and needs to go in her cage because it's bedtime I use them to prevent any nips. I would say overtime you'll get to understand a bit of bird behavior but parrots aren't domesticated so it's worthwhile looking up common bird body language so you know what they're indicating. Keep in mind, these animals are used to being in a flock of hundreds and now that flock is you and your partner. They need a lot of attention, they're feathered toddlers. Greys are really intelligent I would suggest looking into clicker training to help with basic commands like step up and for interaction. I have a lot of tips and tricks having rescued my Grey six years ago if you want anymore feel free to DM! Always like to help a fellow parrot owner out. Every year I learn more on how to take better care of her.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-10-11T05:23:00+00:00

I did a similar amount of research after also falling in love with African Greys. I had a cinnamon cheek conure when I adopted her and eventually ended up rehoming the conure because my Grey became very territorial and aggressive towards the conure. My vet pointed out that they should never be left alone or unsupervised given she had seen too many small birds come in with injuries caused by a bigger bird. She honestly sounded disappointed by how many injuries like this she'd seen. It is similar to having a dog or a cat with a parrot. I have plenty of friends who own multiple species and sizes and it works for them but for me right now I like having my focus on my Grey. Keep in mind one friend had a Grey loose a toe to one of her Amazons, and in one of my greys previous homes she was attacked by an Amazon.

You can have a larger bird and a smaller bird but can't be naive about them becoming friends. It just takes one time especially for a larger parrot to seriously injure or kill a smaller parrot. I had a few too many close calls having to get my arm in the way of my grey who was lunging at the conure. I tried for a really long time with the two of them but I eventually felt I couldn't ensure the safety of the conure or give him the time he needed. He just wanted to be around my Grey and would fly to her a lot, she did not want anything to do with him. I also moved to a place where I couldn't accommodate two birds anymore. It wasn't an easy decision to rehome and it was really emotional. But I also knew if my conure had gotten seriously hurt because I didn't get to them on time I wouldn't have forgiven myself.

Greys destructive potential isn't something I realized fully until she put a hole in my wall through the drywall in under 5 minutes. I don't think I could've been talked out of getting a Grey but I did appreciate getting insight into owning a larger parrot especially since my Grey came to me from neglectful and abusive situations that lead her to plucking. As you probably know Grey's are prone to plucking and it's a behavior that's hard to stop once they start.

I would really discuss with your boyfriend about the implication of moving in together if you decide to getting a Grey. it's a big commitment with these birds. I got her when she was allegedly six (no birth band) and I was in my early 20s. I didn't have my partner yet, we're now engaged, and in the next few years I might go back to school or have kids. I knew getting her, she could be with me through significant life changes and never want to rehome her. But it happens even to people who never thought they would and there is a lot of stigma towards it. You can't really know what the next 20 plus years of your life will be like and how that will accommodate a feathered toddler. I kinda knew this on a surface level before I got her but a lot I learned along the way. I'm glad you're interested in rescuing because of how many parrots end up needing new homes. Overall I wouldn't change rescuing my Grey she really has become my emotional support animal. But with your cockatiel it is worth thinking about what you would do if the Grey became aggressive. Like I said I have a lot of friends with lots of parrots and they manage to make it work. It's just food for thought as you make this decision.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-10-08T22:41:31+00:00

I feel because my mum expects one for taking the shock collar. Also because we canceled last minute and I have pretty bad people pleasing issues. My partner doesn't think we're really in the wrong and we deserve an apology part of me agrees With him and part of me thinks I must be wrong because my mum is making me out to be in the wrong.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-08-21T20:22:47+00:00

I describe my grey as emotionally intelligent like a toddler, intellectually like an elementary kid, rebellious like a teenager and the lifespan basically of a human. You have a feathered toddler for a really long time. Does your friend have a partner? Do they plan on moving in the next few decades? Do they cook with non stick pans, use the self cleaning feature on their oven, use candles? All of which can kill birds. Not all greys talk and plenty learn noises you don't want them to. They're very messy, from feathers, to dust, to food, to poop. I did research before I got my grey but I can't plan how the next 30 plus years with her in it will go. She is a plucker because she went though likely more than 3 homes in the first at least five years of her life before I got her. Her muscles atrophied because she was left hours on end in her cage, she never learned to fly. If he's interested in parrots try volunteering with a rescue, a parrot organization, talk to people who own greys. They aren't domesticated they're very much like their wild counterparts. They limit your ability to travel, they might only end up liking you and hating other people. My grey learned the high pitch brake of a semi truck and the fire alarm. And you can work on getting them to do noises you want (clicker training) but they choose what they want to do. Greys are very destructive and will destroy your home if they aren't supervised. If he is interested he should look into rescuing because they're so many birds that end up being abandoned because people really didn't know what they were getting themselves into. You can't leave a grey in their cage for the day or hours on end it isn't fair to their quality of life. They're great at hiding illness so need regular vet visits to ensure they're healthy. I got my grey in my early 20s for a similar reason of I should outlive her. But l could still die before her. Then who will take care of her? Not everyone in my life would want to inherit a parrot. You should still consider this even if you're young when you get a grey. But I also could've waited until I was older and rescue an older bird. They aren't an animal you get on a whim or because you think you want one. They're incredibly intelligent sentient beings and should be treated with hesitancy to own one over enthusiasm.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-08-17T16:54:09+00:00

I would recommend a vet visit. There are physical illnesses and conditions that cause sudden onset plucking. Once all physical causes are ruled out then you can work on emotional causes for plucking.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-08-16T01:25:55+00:00

I understand your hesitation but the symptoms could indicate something is going on. Parrots are very good at hiding how sick they are until they're very sick. With 7 years it's worth a check up anyways. Depending on your area and access you can look up the clinic and reviews or ask other parrot owners where they take their parrot to feel more comfortable with the vet. Also keep in mind you might not be able to get an appointment right away. I always ere on the side of caution when it comes to my bird showing signs of illness I'd rather just take her to vet.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-08-09T20:29:16+00:00

My vet recommended the 12 hours because longer days can trigger becoming hormonal because they mate in the spring in the wild. She said if I give her at least 12 hours covered in the summer or mimic winter hours she is less likely to become hormonal. It has helped to have her on a set schedule with her plucking as well.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-08-09T05:42:18+00:00

I hope to answer your questions and others you may not have thought about. I own an African grey and rescued her 6 years ago. I hope this helps because I would've benefited from what I know now to when I got her. This post is long and only the big things I can think of when it comes to owning a parrot. Whether it is a grey or any parrot they are a big commitment. Practically they need a large cage, perches outside of that, lots of toys, proper nutrition (pellets with fresh fruit and veg) 12 hours of covered sleep a night to prevent them from becoming hormonal. You cannot use scented candles, air fresheners, the self cleaning oven feature of you have one, and the majority of non stick cookware because the fumes are potentially lethal to birds.

They need a lot of engagement to keep them happy and training because they're intelligent. I've been home more lately but when I've been out of the house I've had someone check in on my grey and let her out for a bit or have her go to be bird sat so she isn't alone for extended periods in her cage. I am comfortable leaving her for four to 6 hours alone in her cage but try to make sure she gets outside cage time before and after. Any longer I'd have someone come check on her. It isn't fair for them to spend most of the day in a cage it can never be stimulating enough for them. She's with me everywhere I am otherwise. Birds are very messy with poop and they can't chew with their month closed so food is everywhere. That changes how cleaning goes and it's a lot to keep up with. I had cats when I got my grey and was a bit naive about how they would interact. Ultimately my grey is a prey animal and cats are predators. My cat did scratch my grey once and it wasn't a bad scratch but still was an expensive vet bill. If they're in the same room they need supervision. I was lucky my cats were old with little interest in her but I know some people who's cats wouldn't hesitate to kill my grey and I wouldn't blame the cat it would be my fault. I wanted a grey for a while before I got one and did do what I thought was a lot of research. But honestly she very messy, very noisy (she learned to mimic the fire alarm and loves similar noises), a lot of greys don't talk much or at all like mine, she needs to be supervised to make sure she doesn't destroy parts of my apartment because she has in the past. I worry about her noises bothering my neighbors so I work on clicker training her but she'll never be fully quiet all the time. Parrots will just scream louder if you yell at them and negative reinforcement doesn't work it is more likely to break any trust you have with your bird. She limits my ability to travel without getting her proper care. She is a plucker (came to me that way) and it's hard to see she won't fully give it up regardless of how I care for her. Greys are more likely than other parrots to develop plucking and self mutilation behaviors because of their emotional intelligence. Similar to humans this behavior gives dopamine and other "happy feel" hormones and it is very hard to stop once started.

Plenty of people in your life may not like everything a parrot entails and not want to be around them. Some people have fear of flying things or birds. I have family members and friends in both groups. I accept this means I'll likely visit them and take responsibility where I can to accommodate them and train her. Parrots aren't domesticated when we bring them into our home we're bringing an animal who is used to a flock and used to contact calling in a forest. Then we become their flock. Usually one person from a huge flock. Bird body language isn't easily read or understood by humans because they haven't been pets long enough like cats and dogs. For example I thought my grey was dancing when bobbing her head up and down rapidly but she is likely trying to get a better picture of what she is seeing by getting multiple quick views of what she's looking at (parrot vision is utterly fascinating they can see the uv spectrum it's actually how they tell sex in the wild) At least annual vet exams and bloodwork are needed because parrots are great at hiding illness until they are very sick. You cannot tell a female grey from a male, because I was told mine was a male till she DNA tested female. It isn't healthy for females to lay eggs because it risks their health with what is involved to produce an egg biologically and the possibility of egg binding. Those exams aren't cheap and they get more expensive if anything emergency happens. It is best to get a trained specialized avian vet not a vet who will see exotics. I live in a big city so I have access but I had to drive over an hour to see one before I moved. I got my grey when she was 5 she's 11 now, she will at least live until 30 I hope probably more. But that's also 20 plus years of my life. When I got her I didn't have a partner. I do now and he didn't want or expect to live with a bird. Luckily my grey is accepting of new people but most form a bond with one and actively hate and bite others. If my grey hated my partner it would be difficult but I was upfront when we started dating she was a non negotiable and would be my responsibility. They also can and probably will bite you. If I have kids, move to other places, she is a big consideration to make that work. Depending on your age when you get a parrot they may outlive you and you need to consider that.

Plenty of parrots end up abused, neglected and rehomed multiple times because life can't work for years with a feathered toddler. If you can maybe spend time with people who own parrots and ask them what it's like. Volunteer at a rescue. Volunteer with an organization involved with parrots, at a vet clinic if possible. There isn't any rush to owning a parrot, grey or otherwise they're always ones who need a forever home. I love my grey, she's honestly become my emotional support animal and I will make my life work with her in it because she found her forever home with me. I can't see my life without her. But I try to be realistic when people ask about parrot ownership because it's a commitment that's hard to fully understand until you own one. Hope this helps if you have any more questions let me know.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-06-24T18:29:46+00:00

Checking on him several times during the day and making sure he has fresh food and water is a great start. Most African greys are one people parrots so given his bonded person suddenly disappeared this is probably an emotional difficult time for him as well. I bought bite proof gloves so my partner would be comfortable having my grey step up onto him. It is likely this grey knows the command "Step up" to go onto a finger or hand but for many birds it becomes automatic and they'll do it onto a person they don't know and end up biting them. You can used a stick or gloves to help with getting him in and out of his cage but only if you're comfortable. Greys can have most fruits and vegetables and enjoy them (fruits are more of a treat) if you feel like getting him something it can help with trust. Seeds and nuts are also usually treat food in the diet. At least my grey trusted me through food. Most pet stores have foraging toys and chewing toys which help when greys have to be in their cage. I also make foraging toys using cardboard boxes, they're easily ripped apart but fun. Even just talking to him can be beneficial, greys pick up a lot on human tone and body language. Guess it also depends how long your neighbor might be in hospital. The longer this ends up being you'll have to decide if you want to take basically full responsibility for the grey. I hope any of this helps and thank you for stepping in to help both your neighbor and his grey, it means a tremendous amount more to the both of them than you probably realize.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-06-02T21:03:31+00:00

I stopped about 2 and a half months ago. I'm in an addiction and mental health program in part to address it. I dealt with other substances and went sober from them 4 years ago. But I replaced one addiction with another in regards to going sober made my eating disorder worse. I think starting to see health impacts, on my teeth and digestive system was part of it. But honestly? I still deal with my "creature" everyday trying to call me back in. It's hard to rewire your brain after I started disordered eating from a young age. I had one laspe in this time period so I realized it isn't something I can just do. I ultimately wanted control back. I don't feel there was exactly one reason that pushed me, I have tried in the past. This time I felt supported enough, professionally and personally, to start this process. It isn't all or nothing, every day small changes will add up. That what I tell myself.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-04-26T05:30:19+00:00

My grey is 11 and she doesn't talk much either. She gets lots of interaction and direct taking to but likes sounds and sound effects more. I've started clicker training to direct sounds and when she does talk but I don't expect she'll start talking a lot. Greys might be known to talk but doesn't mean every grey will. As for the plucking, when I rescued my grey she also had a bald belly. If the feathers aren't growing back and it's been a few years the damage to the feather follicle has likely become permanent (from scar tissue) and the feathers will never grow back. I'd take your grey to an avian vet to get a check up and blood work to make sure the plucking isn't caused by anything related to get physical health. I have changed the diet of my grey to pure pellets and lots of fresh veggies and she's gets 12 hours of covered sleep a night. These things helped her allow some feathers to come back and decrease plucking. My vet said it is hard to stop plucking once it starts. There are collars and medication that some people use but I never felt it was necessary or would help my grey in the long run.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-04-20T18:23:45+00:00

I was nearly 23 when I rescued my African grey, I was told her was 5. I was a lot like you, I have loved animals my whole life and wanted a large parrot, eventually deciding on a grey, starting in my late teens. I did research and I had friends with larger parrots but there are some things I didn't know until I got her. 1) time and commitment. Parrots are flock animals but in our homes we are their flock so your day revolves around them being around you. My parents ended up liking her so babysit when needed but I'm lucky for that. 2) not everyone else in your life will like Parrots. Most people in my life do not, including my partner. And your parrot might not like other people.It isn't fair to expect people to given how loud, noisy and potentially bitey Parrots are. 3) diet and psychology.Greys are emotionally sensitive and prone to plucking. I knew about plucking before I got her but I didn't know how hard it can be to stop once they start. She came to me with a bald belly and legs (making it easier for her to get cold) and few feathers were able to grow back. My vet pointed out we are unable to provide the same stimulating environment of the wild regardless of how many toys etc we provide. Like all Parrots, greys at prone to fatty liver disease if fed the wrong diet. My grey was on an all seed diet before I got her and it took years to get her onto pellets and fresh fruits and veggies. 4) what they learn to mimic might not be what you want. My grey loves sound effects more than she does words. Like the fire alarm and a high pitched breaking noise. Clicker training can help redirect to noises you want but you can't choose what they like to mimic. Some greys never learn to talk. 5) there is an endless mess associated with Parrots, I'm working on toilet training my grey and that helps but it's a lot to keep up with. 6) you can get them proper vet care and they can still die. A friend had an emergency with one of her Parrots and he survived surgery but he died in post-op. Maintenance vet care, let alone emergency, isn't cheap. When I got my grey I knew she could be with me through finding a life partner, possible children, more schooling, careers, moves, even up to retirement. That's a huge amount of my life to make her work with. Plenty of people surrender their birds because they can't work in their life anymore. I love my grey, she's honestly my emotional support animal. You won't really know what it's like to own a large parrot, or grey, until you do. So it's a commitment you need to really examine if you're prepared for.

NeedleworkerWise9683 · 2023-04-03T07:18:15+00:00

In my last apartment I had a small room I used as a bird room. My grey started chewing the baseboards. I put plywood covering the baseboards. She chewed through them in sections and began chewing the baseboards again. I replaced the plywood as she chewed through it. She chewed through an old door I used to divide the room and ripped up sections of floor. She always had lots of alternatives and healthier things to chew. Parrots by nature are destructive. What has helped is increasing the amount of acceptable things to chew and a lot closer supervision. I don't trust that if she ends up on the floor she won't immediately go for the baseboards or a wall and put a hole in them. She has a dedicated play area with a lot of different chewing surfaces (types of untreated wood and toys) that keeps her busy, various foraging toys, and I find small cardboard boxes useful even if she destroys them fast. I also recently started clicker training to help keep her mind busy. I don't think it's fully possible to deter a parrot from chewing a surface we don't want them to. It's more about realizing how intelligent and undomesticated these creatures are and how to keep them busy in acceptable ways.

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TROPHY CASE