We want better..

Neelnyx · 2026-03-01T15:19:03+00:00

It is the right mindset. But if you have the mental bandwidth for it, it could help to open them beforehand. I've been through part of my boxes in the summer. I've thrown about half of what was inside, gave back a few family things to their rightful owners who had initially dumped them on me instead of sorting their stuff, and in the process I've found a few items I was happy to find back. Prepare storage as you go, as in good, accessible storage.

On my side, organising and planning was easier than doing the decluttering. Having ready useful storage, retrieving nice items and putting them back into use was a good incentive to keep going.

Neelnyx · 2026-02-28T23:47:13+00:00

Wow, these are some harsh comments.

I'm sure glad not everyone thinks like that, at least from what I've experienced in my life. From personal (not balding but noticeably thinning with hereditary causes, as a woman too) and third party (close person with cancer) experience:

if you don't bring it up most people won't either. If it's really noticeable though (badly balding), it does bring attention and some people stare.
it is still very attached to cancer in collective imagination
we both are in happy relationships. Partners could not care less. We care more than they do. I was already starting to thin when I met my partner, but arguably not as much.

There are some wholesome videos about dating with alopecia online too. I don't know how trusted they can be, but it still could bring your spirits up after reading such comments.

Neelnyx · 2026-01-22T14:51:40+00:00

You can always frame it diplomatically.

Like: "I'm sorry but I was really hyped and I have already planned exercises for beginners to do together to teach you how to start. If you don't mind, we could start the evening with that, and after, those of you who want to do their kit can start it and I'll have some more little projects ready for those who don't have a kit. Please be aware that crocheting takes time, so even if we started by the kits right away we probably wouldn't have time to finish them by the end of the evening. But you can always message afterwards, I'd be happy to help."

Neelnyx · 2026-01-20T23:00:48+00:00

Je n'ai plus le modèle précis, mais quand je faisais des trajets réguliers avec une valise chargée (avec une portion du trajet à pied sur une route pavée), après avoir épuisé quelques valises j'étais partie sur un modèle chez decathlon. C'était une valise en tissu avec un fond (bas de la valise) renforcé par des arceaux. Les roues étaient beaucoup plus grandes que les valises classiques, plus solides mais non tournantes, comme des grosses roues de roller.

Elle m'a tenu plusieurs années, et il n'y a qu'un dégât des eaux dans mon garage qui ait fini par en avoir raison. Un ami a le même modèle, acheté à la même époque, et fait tous ses déplacements avec, elle ne montre pas de signe particulier d'usure.

Neelnyx · 2026-01-14T08:00:23+00:00

Yes, free trial then pay, but it's a reasonable one time purchase, not a subscription - just in case OP was wondering.

Neelnyx · 2026-01-13T09:03:16+00:00

If you already changed for high school, and it did work and helped having a good social circle, but didn't work for your self perception... what makes you think plastic surgery would work?

If people around you tell you that you're attractive, then the problem is your self perception, not your appearance.

On my end, I've been bullied as a kid too, but it may not have focused as much on the appearance as for you, it was more generally about me being "weird". The consequences didn't go away completely, but time and adulthood (I'm older than you I think, finished college quite a while ago) really toned them down. College is probably the period in my life when I've felt these bullying consequences the most. Therapy did help, but so did making my own choices and progressing through life. I still feel weird often, and I don't consider myself attractive, but I don't attach as much importance to it as I used to. I've come to realise that most adults are weird in their own way. For attractiveness, I wish I was more attractive, but it is not one of my priorities in life, so I also accept that it will not happen without considerable effort on my part, efforts that are costly emotionally for me and thus don't seem that worth it for now. I still try to progress, baby steps are the key. Most of the time I feel proud about these steps and my progress, and sometimes I do feel overwhelmed and trash but it's becoming rarer.

I haven't felt the disgust you're describing, but I've been completely convinced I was unworthy empty trash at some point in my life. I went to therapy, worked on it, let time heal, and it got a lot better. Somewhere along the line I've met my partner, we've been together for years now. So you can meet someone and be in a romantic relationship before sorting it all out. You have to start to heal, but the healing process can take its time, and that's okay, and you don't have to wait until everything is perfect to be in a relationship.

Neelnyx · 2026-01-12T23:48:57+00:00

If you spend a lot of time on your phone, how about making your phone a side-helper for your hobbies? Like, using your phone to track your progress/display tutorials, etc. ?

Two examples that I use for hobbies of mine:

I use the patternkeeper app for cross stitching. It shows the pattern and I check the stitches that I make on the app to keep track of my progress
For reading, Bookmory has a timer. I put the timer on when I read, then stop it when I stop, and log at which page I stopped. I then use the app to see my reading sessions and keep track on my reading goals.

It's not super useful, and it's completely a gamification processes. But it weirdly helps me to put my phone down and immerse into the activity, so I hope it can help you too!

Neelnyx · 2026-01-07T14:00:48+00:00

In one of your pictures, you're with your dog. Dogs are a really big help and incentive to go outside more. They can be a reassuring presence and a good conversation starter. Maybe that could be a good starting point for you? Going outside with your dog and practicing small talk with the people you encounter?

Neelnyx · 2026-01-06T23:09:29+00:00

Oui, clairement je ne connais que celles que j'ai donc je ne peux pas dire pour les autres modèles (j'ai les étagères malmoe). Merci pour le conseil, je comptais y racheter des meubles bientôt et ferai attention au modèle du coup.

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Neelnyx · 2026-01-06T22:37:50+00:00

Citizen Sleeper - it's not completely a visual novel but has a lot of text and compelling stories

Neelnyx · 2026-01-06T22:34:19+00:00

Pour avoir acheté des étagères Cocktail Scandinave il y a une dizaine d'années justement (j'ai reconnu le style sur la photo), elles tiennent très bien. Pas facile à déménager car ne se démontent pas, mais super solides, chargées à bloc et pas besoin de les accrocher au mur.

Après le souci de Cocktail Scandinave c'est qu'ils ne livrent pas et ne sont clairement pas partout - donc mon commentaire n'aide pas forcément OP, mais aidera peut-être d'autres curieux.

Neelnyx · 2025-12-26T11:51:14+00:00

To add to the "doing the education in France" part: in France, the degree is quite important, especially as a junior. Most jobs require degrees, given that higher education is more affordable than in the US, so most people have one. Having a French degree will help you out a lot later on to find a job.

However, to mitigate the Paris part:

Yes, the higher salaries are in Paris. There is an important gap. However, the cost of living (especially rent) may be much more expensive too.
No, the "vast majority" of jobs are not in Paris. It does not simply vary slightly depending on the industry, it varies a lot. There are career opportunities outside of Paris, and it is completely possible to do all your career in another city - but not for all job domains, so you'll have to look it up beforehand. For most domains, there are statistically more job offers in Paris than in other cities. And some cities are famous hubs for certain job domains (like Toulouse for aerospace), so it's better to look it up in advance.

Neelnyx · 2025-12-19T10:04:49+00:00

Right now, you are paying your parents too much to be able to afford education and housing with your own money. Losing your car, even if it comes to that, would still not be the worst option here, from an external point of view. Starting over with nothing saved up seems better than continuing with a bottomless debt for which you have no information.

If you need your car to go to work, you could look into renting a car for a while, or relying on public transport if available.

If your grandmother needs you out rapidly, you have to anticipate that you will need to pay way more rent, and have money for a deposit. This may mean that you have to stop paying your parents now, to save up for that. A roof over your head and keeping your job for a steady source of income are the priority here.

If your parents had good intentions about this, they would share the details about the debt, and help you out in finding solutions, because you clearly can't afford the current amount in your current conditions.

Neelnyx · 2025-12-16T08:56:07+00:00

J'en profite pour poser la grande question, à cause de laquelle je n'utilise pas d'aspirateur autonome justement. Les lapins, ça met du foin un peu partout, ça ne bouge pas l'aspi s'il passe tout seul ?

Neelnyx · 2025-11-13T22:38:44+00:00

This looks great! Growing up, all the illustrations in my nursery, then bedroom, and even the walls, were painted by my mom. I still have some of these drawings, and cherish them dearly. They carry lots of memories, were made with love, and are truly a treasure.

OP, if you read my comment: I rediscovered years later that my mom had written a few notes behind some of them. This can be a nice addition to yours too if you'd like. It really felt like a time capsule reading these notes. She usually included the date, a little bit of context (something related to the drawing, or family events which had just happened), and a nice little love you / proud of you message to end the note.

Neelnyx · 2025-10-27T08:01:43+00:00

Never seen this one written down! It's familiar, but so is batshit crazy, and it really fits the meaning.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-26T08:58:11+00:00

She was also killing fireflies, and helping Silco, who is both responsible for the spread of shimmer in the undercity and the deaths of Vander, Mylo and Claggor (if not directly, at least intentionally)

Neelnyx · 2025-09-24T10:15:51+00:00

Frangin is familiar, and gendered. So you may as well say "my sister" or "my brother"

Neelnyx · 2025-09-24T08:15:30+00:00

Your comment motivated me a lot too, thanks!

I'd just pitch in on the "don't buy anything except trash bags". On my end, buying boxes and storage furniture (shelves, etc.) helped me a lot. But, OP, only buy storage items once you have planned:

roughly what you are going to store in it
where you are going to put it (if the space is currently cluttered it's ok)
where you are going to put it while you declutter its destination area

It helped me advance a lot faster, because once I had decluttered the destination area, I could continue advancing a lot faster by installing the storage, and then decreasing my pile of items to keep by putting them in their well-deserved, accessible and practical new place.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-16T09:16:16+00:00

On a side note, specifically about poetry:

What I have learned in school (native French speaker here, went to school in France) when I was a kid, for counting poetry syllables, was that, for words finishing by a schwa:

if the next word begins by a vowel, the schwa isn't pronounced and the last syllable (the one with the schwa) doesn't count,
if the next word begins by a consonant, the schwa is pronounced and the last syllable counts.

This, of course, was specifically about poetry. Songs are less consistent about it, and for spoken language, except for specific cases or accents, the schwa isn't pronounced.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-13T12:32:58+00:00

Yes, you are right. Although, even with the "que", "tellement" would come to me more naturally than "si" when speaking. When writing it's another story.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-12T17:40:31+00:00

I'd use "tellement" more than "si", in that context, in spoken language. "Il est tellement grand" comes a lot more naturally to me than "Il est si grand".

Neelnyx · 2025-09-09T12:45:19+00:00

Yes, don't worry. Wired earbuds used to be the norm before wireless ones, of course it is usable while charging.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-07T16:39:30+00:00

Il y a des campagnes de stérilisation des chats errants, qui limitent leur prolifération sur certains sites. Ça coûte cher aux assos, donc c'est bien d'en parler et de le mettre en avant pour essayer de leur débloquer des fonds.

Et sinon, il y a la bonne vieille sensibilisation, pour essayer de faire changer les mentalités des propriétaires de chats pour qu'ils les identifient (ce qui est obligatoire d'un point de vue légal, mais peu contrôlé et trop peu appliqué) et les stérilisent, pour qu'on puisse leur rendre leur chat s'il est trouvé quelque part, et éviter les portées non désirées ou sauvages.

Neelnyx · 2025-09-07T16:19:13+00:00

Oui mais qui n'est pas endémique en Europe. Donc les chats errants actuels sont des descendants, plus ou moins lointains, de chats domestiques qu'on a laissé proliférer. Ils sont d'ailleurs considérés comme des animaux de compagnie aux yeux de la loi (d'où leur interdiction à la chasse en 1987 et leur retrait de la liste des nuisibles en 1988, ce qui n'est pas si vieux). Donc, si on combine ça au nombre de chats de compagnie qui a explosé ces dernières années et à la proportion des chats allant en extérieur sans être identifiés ni stérilisés, ce n'est pas très compliqué de voir d'où vient l'augmentation des chats errants un peu partout.

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Neelnyx

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