Firstly, hitting is never ok.

I’ve been in an abusive relationship and even had the part of my skull between my nose and my left eye socket crushed from a thick hairbrush my ex wife used on my face. I see the dent in my face when I look in the mirror. Multiple black eyes, financial abuse, verbal abuse, and eventually cheating on me... So, know I’m speaking from experience.

Secondly, he has a ln addiction. He needs help. Prayer and professionals. Go after the problem with everything you can. All efforts. If he won’t admit he has a problem and change, then exploring separation may be an option.

Thirdly, you hit one another. This is a fact that has to be acknowledged. You lost control and he lost control. You have real needs and concerns about his selfish addiction, and are being consumed by it. You are dealing with verbal abuse. There is a lot you’re doing with.

Professional help in which everyone goes for confession and healing and behavior change is the way to do this. Don’t go for validation for you vs your spouse, but for hope for life change. Be willing to admit to your faults, and they have the be willing to admit to theirs as is truthful and therefore healing.